The date is going great. You’ve been talking for hours and the drinks keep coming. Then it’s time to go, and she blows you off. What just happened? Wasn’t she all into you? Did you misinterpret all of the signs?
Honestly? You probably did. When you like someone, you tend to read every word, gesture and look as a good sign – even when it’s a huge red flag waving in your face. You might dismiss those signs as “playing hard to get”, but women are not always playing, sometimes they just are hard to get.
So how do you know what she wants? It’s not always clear. Unless she fakes a stroke, she has her best friend call with an emergency or she plainly disappears. Those “signs” should be obvious for every guy. But most of the time it’s not that self-evident, because a lot of girls indulge in some teasing. Either because they’re not that into you and don’t want to hurt your feelings, or because they’re not that into you and they’re pure evil. In both cases they’re not into you (we can’t stress this enough) and it’s best to save yourself from embarrassing moments, and to foresee the ending.
How, you ask? Well, here are at least 10 signs that she’s just teasing you.
Good luck on your next date.
10. She Keeps Checking Her Phone
She might have an obsessive-compulsive thing with knowing the time. Or she is expecting a life-changing phone call. But in that case, she would tell you about it. Odds are that she’s just looking for a distraction because you’re not interesting enough.
If she’s just checking up on messages while you go to the bathroom, that’s fine. But if she’s continuously chatting with other people through Facebook, Whatsapp or texts, that is … not so fine.
Is she constantly keeping one eye on her phone and paying more attention to it than to you? Then don’t be surprised when she goes home with her phone instead of with you.
9. She Is Not Really Interested In What You Say
Is she paying attention when you’re talking? Does she ask questions about you? Do her questions show that she’s actually been listening to what you were saying? If you can’t say yes three times, beware. Especially if she manages to shift the conversation back to her own life whenever you tell a story. “Oh that reminds me of this one time …” “Yes, I had the same thing a while ago …” Girls that seem to enjoy talking about themselves all the time might be doing this so they wouldn’t have to listen to you. Because they find themselves a lot more interesting.
8. She Does Not Genuinely Laugh With Your Jokes
It’s a cliché as old as time, but lots of women like funny men. Actually, the thing is that human beings in general like humour, so women too. But please, don’t pretend to be a stand-up comedian, because that won’t work for very long. It will probably only make things a lot worse – unless you really are a professional comedian, then go ahead.
To sum it up: if you two can make each other laugh, that’s a good sign. But if she forces her face into a painful grimace or fakes a hearty laugh, she is counting down the minutes until it’s an acceptable time to leave.
7. She Keeps Ordering Drinks
She does not necessarily have a twisted relationship with alcohol. Some people need to muster up some Dutch courage before going home with someone, so that might explain why she keeps pounding drinks. But have you alluded several times to leaving together later and is she ignoring you every single time by ordering more wine? Then she is most probably avoiding the moment of truth. That awkward moment in which you will try to kiss her or ask her to come home with you, and she will have to find a nice way to turn you down. Spare yourself the trouble and read the signs.
6. She Mentions Her Ex And Other Men – A Lot
The fact that she’s blabbing on about her ex the whole time, does not necessarily mean she’s not going home with you – she might picture you as the perfect rebound guy. But it definitely means she’s not serious about you. If this is the only bad sign she’s showing you and you’re okay with one night, then great.
Now if apart from her ex she’s also talking about adventures with other men most of the time, that’s a whole other story. And it’s a very easy read: she is not trying to make you jealous, she just does not consider you a possible future adventure. You are being friendzoned.
5. She Is Checking Out Other Guys At The Bar
Is she dividing her attention between you, the waiter and another man across the room? Then you’re dealing with a professional tease. She’s literally dating several guys at the same time, to see which one will win her over tonight. If any – maybe she just enjoys teasing for the fun of it.
Anyway, the fact that she’s allowing competition is really bad. She should be all eyes for you, or it’s not going to happen. Are you still interested in her, in spite of her flirty behaviour with all male species around? Then you only have one option: step up your game.
4. She Won’t Let You Pay
This of course does not have to mean anything, some women just prefer paying for themselves. But lots of them refuse your money because it makes them feel as if they owe you something. Even if she still hasn’t decided whose house she’s going to end up at, she doesn’t want to go home with you just because you guilted her into it by paying for her dinner and drinks. If she’s going home with you, she wants it to be her own choice. On the other hand, if she has decided that she’d like to get to know you better and she considers more than one date, she won’t mind that you “pay this one”.
3. She’s Vague About Next Dates
Men don’t like saying directly what they think or want, and women are no different. You are probably being vague yourself, by hinting at future dates instead of just asking about them. Of course, if all goes well, a little bit of hinting is more than enough. But if you don’t feel the same vibe from her, try another strategy: ask her. Is she still dodging the question, pretending she didn’t hear it, or replying vaguely “Oh yeah well, we’ll see, I guess”? Then don’t think: all right, way to go, she didn’t say no! Because she did. She so did.
2. She Is “Really, Really Tired”
She has a very early meeting the next morning. She hasn’t slept a lot the past days or weeks. And whoaw, she is really really tired and should not stay up too long today. Is she casually telling you all this with a theatrical yawn, without adding “but one more night won’t hurt” or “but I don’t care tonight”? Then (in the best-case scenario) she might stay a couple of more hours because she likes your company, but she will catch up on some sleep in her own bed. She’s using external factors to camouflage the fact that she does not want to get physical with you. Because, really, if she was attracted to you, she would not care about sleeping.
1. She Is Weird About Physical Contact
This is the most important one. A woman that is into you, will automatically keep eye contact, turn her body towards you and casually touch your arm or knee. If she shifts in her seat when you approach her, avoids your look and adjusts her position to avoid your leg brushing against her leg, she is giving you clear signs.
But if she is a real tease, her body language is a lot harder to read. You’ll have to trust your gut feeling on this: is she getting closer to you or is she just touching you now and then, to see how far she can go? Is she responding to your touch, or ignoring or even stopping it? Unfortunately, real teases are damn good at what they do. We never said it would be easy.
Are you on a date and do you see some of these 10 signs, but a lot of good ones too? Then you’ll just have to take your chances. Or, here’s a crazy idea: downright ask her what she wants.