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10 Reasons Why You’re Not Getting The Girl Of Your Dreams

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10 Reasons Why You’re Not Getting The Girl Of Your Dreams

via:writeandsleep.com

It’s a position that the majority of men will be put into at least once in their lives as they search for the lady who is just right for them, and while you may see many guys who can just meet a girl and naturally have a straightforward romance, it might not be that easy for others.

Whoever you are, whether you’d like some pointers on finding your significant other or you’re just bored at work and curious to see if this internet hooplah actually makes sense, it’s important to know that there are certain expectations for a man’s character when women are deciding whether to date or move on. It might sound harsh but realistically, it’s important for both men and women to be critical of their partner’s personalities since, you know, you wouldn’t want to just give a significant portion of your life to the wrong person. These are the things that you can work on to make yourself more appealing, if it’s relevant for you then I wish you the best of luck.

10) A Lack Of Confidence

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Having a lack of self-confidence tends to show itself in many ways, most of which can be visible to people around you. First of all, the confident person will tend to be open and easily approachable, more outspoken in terms of what they really want and will have the mental and emotional strength to get through difficult situations, all of which are big pluses in a relationship.

Compare these traits with that of someone who isn’t very confident, where they may be more introverted and difficult to get to know to start with, less direct and outspoken when talking about what it is they want and may quit on things more often from a lack of believing they can overcome something.

Consider the fact that relationships tend to have both good times and bad times. If you practice believing in your own personal strength and show to her that you are a confident, direct person, she will feel more secure in a relationship with you.

9) Over-Obsessing

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It’s one thing to show that you’re into her and a completely different thing to show you’re obsessed with her, but sometimes it can be difficult to tell love and obsession apart when caught in the moment.

The main difference is that a healthy interaction is where she lets you into her life because she wants you in it, and an unhealthy, obsessive interaction is where you force your way into her life because that’s what you want. Instead of leaving hundreds of messages and missed calls on her phone demanding her attention, just leave one or two and know that she will get back to you when she is ready. You need to let her know that she will have freedom with you to do things she wants to. Obsession can make her feel smothered, which can eventually push her away.

8) You’re Not Very Good At Relaxing

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This is one of the biggest problems many men face while trying to get to know a girl they like: They get so nervous that the atmosphere is ruined. Being relaxed can show itself in both the way you talk and your body language, and can drastically change how comfortable she feels around you.

In the beginning when you are getting to know each other, you will find that with a relaxed mind frame your conversations will flow a lot better so you can build a stronger connection and also laugh and play a lot easier. If you were to approach the same situation with an anxious, nervous mind frame then she may see this in your body language and become nervous herself, making it difficult for the conversation to flow or for her to even relax and feel comfortable in your presence.

Being able to relax and get comfortable together is very important for intimacy as well, so exuding these vibes from the start will be like a taste of the future for her.

7) Over-Sexualising Her

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If in your mind, the girl of your dreams is just someone with a nice butt and tight body then I’m sorry but you’re going to have a tough time finding anything else but a physical relationship, let alone the girl of your dreams.

Chances are that she will notice after a while what exactly it is that you like about her, and it can actually be degrading and objectifying to her if the only reason you’re there is because of her body rather than ACTUALLY liking her as a person. A successful relationship is one where both partners are emotionally satisfied with each other, and by over-sexualizing her, you may not put as much effort into the emotional side of the relationship. Moving away from this type of thinking involves you being conscious of what you actually want out of the relationship other than sex and deciding if that’s really what you want.

6) A Lack Of Empathy And Understanding

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Now this one is something EVERYONE will have trouble with at some point. It can be difficult to think of things someone else would enjoy doing if you can’t relate to that particular activity, but we as men need to realize that maybe she won’t want to do guy things all of the time and won’t react to certain things the same way as one of your friends.

One example is to be more considerate of what she may want to do with you, but it can run deeper than that. If you can’t be empathetic enough to put yourself in her shoes and understand why you or someone else made her upset, and instead just tell her to get over it, then she probably won’t connect with you well. Even before the relationship starts, if you can’t relate to her on more serious subjects then that personal connection may only be superficial.

5) Bad Hygiene

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This one might seem obvious enough but it’s little hygienic things that can make or break first impressions with a girl. So you shower every day and brush your teeth? That’s good, but what if I told it’s just as important to look clean than to actually be clean?

First of all there is facial hair, either shave it all off and go clean or grow it out properly and keep it groomed. It’s not a bad thing to have a beard, many women are attracted to that however, it is the upkeep of your beard you need to keep in mind so you don’t look homeless. Also, when going on a date you should make it look like you have made an effort to look hygienic. Have a shower and put on a small amount of cologne so when she gets close there is no chance of you smelling. Dress in clean clothes, brush your teeth again if you already have, let her know you did yourself up just for her.

4) You’re Too Boring

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There is the idea that girls don’t like nice guys and it’s been around for a while now, but perhaps this needs refining. There are many attractive nice guys out there who have no trouble with women, it is more likely that girls don’t like BORING guys.

Those first few dates are absolutely crucial in determining what kind of relationship you will have with the girl you want, whether it is a successful romance, an awkward blunder or the friendzone. Unfortunately, many men don’t realize that the outcome of the relationship is heavily dependent on them and how much excitement and fun they can bring to the table. Don’t settle for going to the movies or some mundane cliche, don’t play it safe and boring. Take her on an adventure that no one else has before.

3) Always Looking For Someone Better

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That spark in a relationship between two people is like the glue that holds them together, and is often created by making the other person feel like their worth a million bucks, like when a guy can make a girl feel like she’s the only women in the world for him.

This glue can be dissolved very easily though, should you act in the absolute opposite way. Many men today can face commitment problems, where they can’t devote their attention to her because they’re still busy looking at other women walking past. If after going on a date with her you are still asking other women for their numbers, even if you really liked her, then she might just pass you by. It doesn’t matter if she knows you flirt with others, what matters is that you probably won’t be able to give her your undivided attention and make her feel special.

2) Trying Way Too Hard

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Every relationship requires some hard work and dedication, but it is possible to also work TOO hard on your relationship and doom it. One sign described by a Michigan Clinical Psychologist is when you reach the point when you feel more unhappy than happy, or when you’re spending more time fixing the relationship than enjoying it.

There are multiple things that this could mean, but from your perspective you need to ask if you’re giving the relationship too much work and need to step back a little, whether you’re cleaning up after your partner too much and whether it’s truly the right relationship for you. One reason you may never meet the girl of your dreams is because you were with someone else when you should’ve broken up.

1) Anxiety

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You wouldn’t think that something like anxiety could affect your ability to love and connect to someone else, but even in less extreme cases it can affect your behavior just enough to alter relationships for the worst.

Anxiety is that feeling of constant worrying, focusing on your fears, everything that could go wrong in the future and in general, things that are out of your control. In more extreme cases, it causes the affected person to become self absorbed, depressive and unable to cope with a trusting relationship. Even in small doses, if you’re preoccupied with worrying about how the date is going, what she thinks of you, or whether she’s bored or not, then you’re not focusing on having fun and enjoying her company. Watch out for this behavior and if it becomes problematic, seek professional help because you don’t need this getting in the way of being happy.

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