Love. It is something so many people search for, yet so many have a hard time finding it. Throughout the average person’s life, they will go on numerous dates with different people in hopes of finding that one person that they can spend forever with.
At a certain age, your Facebook feed begins to get flooded with pictures of couples; couples getting engaged, couples getting married and of course couples having kids. This made me think about all the great men and women I know that are still single. No, there is nothing wrong with us single folk, however there are reasons as to why we are not finding that person to share our lives with. Everyone is different and there are countless reasons as to why each individual person is single. However, I thought it would be fun to pinpoint the ten most common reasons why people are still single.
The following is a list of ten reasons why you are still single. At the end of the day, there really is nothing wrong with being single. However, there is no denying that being loved and loving in return is one of the most incredible and rewarding feelings in life. For those of you looking for love, read this article carefully. You may learn something about yourself!
10. You’re Too Negative
A lot of people tend to be negative in regards to relationships because they have been hurt in the past. However, being negative when you go to meet someone is only hurting yourself. You should not go into each relationship thinking that it is going to crash and burn, and if you do that, chances are it will crash and burn. When you meet someone new, be optimistic. Don’t assume they are bad just because you have had bad experiences. If you want positive people to enter your life, you need to have a positive attitude.
9. You Expect it to Fall Into Your Lap
If you are not putting yourself out there, you are not going to find someone – plain and simple. If you are looking to attract someone, you need to give off a more positive energy. Prince Charming is not going to fall from the sky and land directly in your bed! Finding that special someone takes work, it takes time and it takes a lot of heartache, and if you are not able to step outside your comfort zone, chances are you are going to have a hard time finding that special person to complete you. Put yourself out there, because you are not going to meet anyone watching television alone in your apartment!
8. You Are Hung Up On An Ex
There is no way you are ever going to meet someone if you are still caught up on your ex. Before even wanting to get into a relationship with anyone else, you need to make sure you are sincerely over your ex, otherwise the relationship is pretty much doomed from the start. Dating someone else is not going to make your feelings for your ex disappear. You need to properly mourn your previous relationship, come to terms with it not working out, and only then will you be ready to move on the next. There is no set time that people should wait before dating someone new. If you no longer have feelings for your ex, then you are free to find someone new. If you aren’t over your ex, you are just going to end up single again. It is only a matter of time.
7. You Are Desperate
It is no secret that no man wants to date a desperate girl and the same goes for women. Desperation is an extremely unattractive quality, and for many people it is a huge turn-off. Let’s get something straight here; there is a difference between desperate and caring. A person who cares for gives you attention and lets you know that you are the only person they want, whereas a desperate person gives off the impression that they need you. Although it is nice to be needed, both men and women find a sense of self and independence sexy, which is why, even if you are desperate, you should never act it.
6. You Don’t Truly Want a Relationship
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be single. A lot of people receive grief when someone tells them “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Being in a relationship requires a certain amount of selflessness and if you are not ready to care for someone else in that way, then chances are your relationships will keep fading. Many people get into relationships because it is the next “natural” step. However, you can’t force being ready, and when you do, the relationship never lasts. There truly is nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship. When you are ready you will know.
5. You Put Everything Ahead of Finding Love
Whether it’s your friends, family or career, if you put your relationships on the back burner for too long, chances are they will keep going up in flames. If you are serious about wanting to find someone, you need to understand that relationships take compromise and commitments. You need to be able to give your significant other a certain amount of time and devotion. You need to find someone who has an understanding in regards to the amount of time you can dedicate to them. Some people need constant attention and affection while others are more independent. If you really want a relationship, you need to make the person somewhat of a priority or else your dating life will keep ending up burning in flames.
4. You Are Not Happy With Yourself
It is true what they say; “you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.” Maybe you are single right now because at this moment in life, that is exactly where you should be. Focus on yourself, put your time, effort and energy into making you the best version of yourself possible, and trust me you will begin to attract amazing people. You can’t look for someone to “fix you” or complete you. You need to understand that you are a complete person and instead you should look for someone who betters you, motivates you and loves you. Focus on being happy with yourself and your dating life will start becoming more positive.
3. You Are Set in Your Ways
When someone is completely set in his or her ways, it’s going to be hard for them to find someone. Relationships and dating are about compromise, and if you are extremely stubborn you will have a harder time keeping someone around. Being with someone is not about changing who you are, it’s about doing certain things purely because it makes your significant other happy. In order to evolve in the world of dating, you need to learn how to evolve within yourself. You are not going to be able to keep that special someone if you are selfish. Start stepping out of your comfort zone and I promise you will see an entirely new world of opportunities.
2. You Have Unrealistic Standards
This is a very common reason why many singles are still single. You need to have realistic expectations in what you are looking for. Find five non-negotiable characteristics like religion or height and whatever they are stick to them as your frame of reference. However, once you find a person who fits your criteria, don’t let them slip away over one thing you aren’t crazy about. For example, imagine you meet an incredible girl who has everything you look for in a person. Would you let them slip away because they don’t live in the same city as you? Any relationship worth fighting for will have their challenges and if you aren’t willing to put an extra effort maybe you aren’t worthy of a great love.
1. You’re Going After the Wrong Kind of Person
As humans, we are creatures of habit, which is reflected in the choices we make in our love lives. Oftentimes, we find ourselves falling for the same kind of person and we all give the same excuse “well, that’s my type.” However, most of the time your “type” is not exactly what you need, which is why all your relationships keep failing. Sometimes going after someone that is not your typical “type” ends up being the best thing you could do. Stop going after what you want and start going after what you need in a person. When you understand the difference between those two, you will be on the right track to finding love.