Marriage is one of those institutions that should be treated with a great deal of respect because it is the pillar on which every society is built. Further back than we can remember, it has been the culture and tradition of the human race for a man and a woman that have come of age to leave their parents, be joined to each other in holy matrimony, and begin their own families. These families are what make up communities, these communities make up nations, and these nations are the human race.
Unlike in the past when parents arranged marriages for their children, today it is the responsibility of a man to look for a woman to marry. This “responsibility” of choosing a wife is today very complicated because there are numerous factors that both parties have to put into consideration before they eventually decide to get married. However, many women today are complaining that the men they are in relationships with are not asking for their hands in marriage, yet they do not see any reasonable impediment preventing them from tying the knot.
Since it is the traditional role of the woman to wait for the man to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him, many women have no choice but to live holding their breath, waiting for “the question.” However, apart from the women who are just waiting for that special day patiently, some women have come out and asked their men why they are taking so long, and many men gave the following reasons:
10. “Marriage Is Expensive”
This is actually one of the most common reasons that some men out there give to their girlfriends, even the men who might be having a lot of money. When a man says that marriage is very expensive, he is probably saying one of two things; either your becoming his wife will be extremely expensive because you already love spending his money, or the whole process of buying the ring, planning for the wedding, paying for the honeymoon and possibly moving to a bigger and more expensive house is actually very heavy on the wallet. In most cases, the man is afraid that you will be more of a liability than a companion when you two get married.
9. “Marriage Is Boring”
This is the reason that many men out there give for not popping the question, especially if they see you as the “girl to have a good time with,” not the girl they would want to marry. Being a “good time girl” means that he will invite you to parties, ask you to come and hang out with him and the boys, ask you to go with him on business trips outside the country, but never ask you for your hand in marriage. Your man will feel as if when you get married all those fun moments will go away, judging from the married friends he knows who no longer know how to “have a good time.” However, this is just one way of trying to justify his fear of marriage.
8. “We Might Not Be Ready For Such A Serious Commitment”
When a man says that he might not be ready for a serious commitment, in actual sense he is saying that he is very afraid of staying with only one woman for the rest of his life. Some people are commitment phobic, probably because they got their hearts broken very early in life, the relationship that they had placed all their hopes in came to a crushing end, or they are just not ready to commit to you. Marriage is the highest form of commitment in the human society because a man and a woman pledge to stay together through all of life’s ups and downs until the day that death shall separate them. If his fear of commitment does not go away, this man will hardly ever think of popping the question.
7. “People Change, I Don’t Want To Hurt You”
Maybe you have been in a relationship with your man for a long time, and maybe he has seen a few changes in you that he knows he cannot live with. For a woman, this situation can get very frustrating because the man might not always share his feelings with regard to the changes that he is anticipating in the future. When he claims that he does not want to hurt you, then he probably intends to break the relationship off at some point because he sees no future with you. Most women make the situation even worse when they keep nagging their men to marry them, ignoring the fact that no amount of pestering is enough to make a man love them to the extent of genuinely wanting to marry them if that’s not what they really want.
6. “Let’s Focus On Our Careers First”
Everyone has dreams of how successful they will become in their career, and everyone has a right to work hard at getting there. Consequently, many men use their careers as an excuse for not asking their girlfriends to marry them. Some men want to get to a level in their careers where they can provide adequately for their wives, and their climb up the ladder might take longer than expected. In addition, some men see the women that they want to marry as having fewer career qualifications or not having a meaningful career, and they may want to marry a woman who makes her own money or is as influential in business or society as they are. It is important to note that getting married will either affect your career goals positively or negatively, and the choice is more often than not in your hands.
5. “Let’s Get To Know Each Other’s Families Better”
Family is a vital part of every individual as well as our relationships because our families play a big role in making us who we are. If the reason why he is not asking you to marry him is “family,” then there’s a possibility his mother or some other close family member does not like you. Since through marriage you will become a part of his family, he might not want you to be a part of a family that does not love you the way that he does. In extreme cases, men have broken off relationships with their “soul mates” just because their mothers or sisters did not like them. However, if you are dating a mature and assertive man, then you need not worry because he will choose you over all others if he truly loves you.
4. “Give Me A Bit More Time”
How hard was it for your man to get you to go out with him on your first date? It is important for a man to have to “pursue” a woman and make her feel special before he gets the privilege of entering into a relationship with her. However, some women take the “playing hard to get” a bit too far and many men get discouraged along the way. If your boyfriend had to bring you the moon or cross the ocean for you just to earn the privilege of going out with you, then he will be afraid of what he will have to do to get you to marry him. The situation will be even worse if he has experienced rejection before from another woman or even from you, and is afraid of a repeat performance.
3. “Marriage Is Hard Work”
Marriage is truly hard work, and a man who is not willing to work hard in his relationship does not deserve to become a husband to anyone. Some men think that being “friends with benefits” is much easier and less complicated than being a married couple, which probably is the case. However, think about just how valuable the things that result from hard work are, and how easy it is to lose and even stop caring about something that cost you nothing to gain. If a man sees marrying you as too much work, then you are better off looking for someone who is willing to work hard with you to make your marriage a success.
2. “We Might Not Have Been Made For Each Other”
If your man says that he thinks that you two were probably not made for each other, then you should not expect him to pop the question any time soon. Most men who claim that they are not compatible with their girlfriends are probably waiting for another girl to become available because they see themselves better off with that other one, or they truly do not love the girls that they are in relationships with. If he thinks that you were not made for each other, then you probably were not made for each other and this is your cue to leave that man.
1. “We Already Have Something Good Going On”
A man will more likely than not delay popping the question or even think about marriage if he is already reaping the benefits of a married man. It is common and very practical to enjoy particular freedoms and benefits when we fulfil certain obligations, and the same should be the case with regard to marriage and relationships. Why would you want to get married? Is it so that you can have sex with your man? Is it so that you can have children? So that you can live with the man that you love? So you can share your bills with someone who cares about you? If you are already doing all the above, why do you think he will want to marry you?