Almost everyone loves making love, and those that do, tend to enjoy it a lot more when they’re good at it! Or when their partner is really good at it and everything just seems to go so well.
But sometimes that just doesn’t happen. It isn’t uncommon for things to get a little stale for some couples. It just happens, repetition can do that to anything. There are plenty of factors that go into one’s sex drive and on what makes a good sexual experience. This list compiles some quick tips you can employ today to help you get back on the pleasure wagon. If you want to be having some fun, but aren’t, we have some great tips on how to change that as well.
Being adventurous in the bedroom can be a good way to kick things back into gear. Good bedroom communication and position experimentation can open up a new world of pleasure for you and your partner in a way you haven’t experienced yet. Not everything will work for everybody, but this list gives you some good jumping-off points for switching up your mindset and your methods. No matter what you have for dinner, perhaps tonight for desert you will be having some really great action.
Sometimes in life changing a few small things can go a long way and the same is true for improving the sex you have. Keep experimenting after you try some of these out and we are sure you will find some winners.
10. Pillow Party
We aren’t talking about pillow fights or pillow forts. Although, both of those activities are always a good time. Plus I mean, doing it in a pillow fort could be charming as long as it was spacious enough and had a nice blanket draped over the entrance.
But that is not the only value of pillows. Sliding a pillow under her lower back can totally change the experience of the missionary position. Not to mention giving her a comfy pile of pillows to relax into as you enter from the rear can “up” the pleasure factor of other positions that make for a good time.
9. Don’t Get Cold Feet
We aren’t talking about nerves. We are talking about the actual temperature of your feet. And your partner’s feet, too. It’s not uncommon to have concentration-breaking sensitivity to certain uncomfortable stimuli during the deed. Being cold, for example, can make things significantly more of a challenge. Warmth is a powerful relaxation tool and you better believe that relaxed sex is great sex. Reduce your chances of getting cold feet by putting some socks on. Sometimes the bed sheets just get tangled up and in the way, so they aren’t always your best bet for warmth. Instead, resort to feet mittens to keep your body a better temperature and keep the game strong.
8. Pump It Pump It
You know what else gets your body temperature rising? Physical exertion such as running, lifting and dancing. You know what benefits from strong blood flow? The parts of you that you need for a good time in bed.
Exercise also releases endorphins which will make everything more pleasurable. You’ll probably have no trouble getting aroused, you’ll be feeling good, and all the blood pumping through your body could make you more sensitive to the physical experiences in the bedroom. Lose the shoes and the shirt, keep the socks, and keep on pumping long after you pump it at the gym.
7. Mind, Body, Getting Naughty
Get that big, bad brain of yours involved. Focus on the physical sensations, the sights, the smells, the tastes. Connecting your brain to your body during your next session will heighten the whole experience. We as people are really tuned-out these days. Always thinking of the past, or worrying about the future and in the process, we miss out on spending time in the present.
Don’t worry about what you’ll make for dinner, or what your boss said at work. Instead, focus completely on the time that you’re having. Pay attention to how you feel, how all of you feels, and you’ll find your communication and pleasure gets all the stronger.
6. Healthy Diet
No diet will ever be ‘sexy’, but we aren’t talking about dieting to give you a sexy bod, we are talking about a diet that could increase your sex drive. The key? You need to jack up your Vitamin A intake. Crank it through the roof and you’ll be feeling like a million bucks in no time. Or, at the very least you might notice an increase in your desire to get it on. The best way to grab the vitamin A you need is through vegetables like leafy greens, carrots, and sweet potatoes.
5. Pelvic Power’s Your Friend
Y’all know about the pelvic floor? You have to work those muscles! In case you’ve been living under an anti-kegel rock and don’t know what pelvic floor muscles are, allow us to point you in the direction of the nearest bathroom. The pelvic floor keeps you from having any leaky trap doors. When you have to go to the bathroom and need to hold it, you’re flexing your pelvic floor. When you stop your pee midstream (because, no judgement, who hasn’t?) you’re doing a kegel exercise. Kegel exercises can boost your experience by increasing your familiarity with and control over the pelvic floor.
4. Hold On (Loosely)
Now that you know what’s up with the pelvic floor and kegel training, you can become a marathon man. That familiarity and control we mentioned means a better chance of stopping before you slip past the point of no return.
Lasting longer can be a great way to have better performance in bed, but if you’re still having trouble, try stimulating her first! If you give her an orgasm through other means, she won’t mind as much if you finish on the faster side.
3. Light Up The Zones
“Light up the zones” isn’t a kids game. Although it sounds like it could be fun, especially in the dark. Instead, we’re talking about another fun thing to do in the dark, stimulating her erogenous zones!
If you focus on some obscure erogenous zones, like her toe, her areola, the back or her neck or her scalp, you could take her pleasure to the next level. Erogenous zones are sensitive zones that feel really good (mostly in a sexual way) when they’re stimulated. Help her relax and get aroused by appreciating parts of her body you don’t usually spend time on, we’re sure there are plenty to choose from.
2. Creative Kitchen
A good way to spice things up is by using your ingenuity and innate sexiness alongside the ingredients in your kitchen. Whip cream and chocolate sauce are obvious. Plant them near some pleasure zones and start licking. This might require a shower afterwards, but that doesn’t sound like a bad thing! Coconut oil is a great option for a natural lubricant. It has great medicinal benefits for your skin and general health (like antibacterial and anti-fungal properties).
The important warning here is that certain products, especially those not specifically designed for sex, can compromise the integrity of a condom. Make sure your experiments don’t lead to a broken condom!
1. Train The Brain
We’ve talked about including the brain for an upgrade once already, but it makes another appearance at our number one spot. Maybe you and your partner have been having a tiny bit of trouble “getting in the mood” lately. The good news is there’s a bit of conditioning you can do. You can apply this conditioning to any aspect of your love life, from getting in the mood, to orgasming. It involves picking a stimulus and making sure it’s present every time you’re doing the deed. After enough times, suddenly that stimulus will trigger arousal in you and your partner, and voila, less effort on your parts (but not your parts)! The brain is a very amazing, very trainable thing and positive reinforcement like a thumbs up also never hurts your confidence.