As you sat home on Valentine’s Day this past year, it is very possible that you and your partner (or you and your cats) spent some time watching classic romantic comedies. Sure, they all seem to follow the same formula, but that’s why they’re classics, damn it! After all, who could not love the story of Ted Mosby as he gets turned down time and time again, only to keep pursuing his lady love? That’s so romantic, right? Spoiler alert: It’s really not, but I’m not even getting started on my disdain for Mosby.
I remember when I was younger, I would watch these movies and take cues from some of my favorite actors, who were not only super badass, but always seemed to have the right moves to make the ladies swoon. How was I ever going to fail with the ladies when I had hours of material to study? But alas, I was younger and thus, also stupider than I am today. I had no idea about the realities of romance, but you can imagine that once I started dating, I definitely got some rude awakenings to the reality of love.
Do you know that it is not super romantic to kiss in the rain? I know they did it in The Notebook, but as you are about to find out, when you transfer that movie magic into real life flames, you are left feeling disheartened more than anything else. Here are 10 gestures that may have seemed romantic in the movies but fail when we try and bring them into reality.
10. Kissing In The Rain
Do you know what my first thought is when I am walking through the rain? This is really wet, unpleasant, cold and I would like to be home. I love my girlfriend very much, but if she asks to stop for a 5-minute dramatic speech in the rain followed by a passionate kiss, I may think she’s crazy. Not to say that it doesn’t have the potential to be romantic, but it has a much higher chance of being unpleasant. Call me crazy, but I don’t want to start off any intimate session by having to dry off with a towel for 10 minutes.
9. Waltzing Into A Restaurant Without A Reservation
You know what one of the sexiest things out there is? Practicality! You know what movies often just ignore? Reality. Quite often in a romantic movie you will see two main characters stroll into a hip restaurant, have a great meal, pay and leave before you know it. I know that seeing them wait in line wouldn’t exactly be captivating, but I am sure if you tried to waltz into a restaurant on Valentine’s Day then you may also realize how great reservations are. Showing up without reservations is not so romantic or easy in real life.
8. Working Out Together And/Or Meeting At The Gym
Ever watch a movie where you see a couple interact with each other at the gym? Sparks fly and instantly they are getting it on. Here’s a news flash: In real life, the gym is one of worst places in the world to meet a partner. You are both focused on your own thing, glistening with sweat and I doubt you went into the gym thinking that you were going to leave with a date. There is no doubt that working out can be beneficial for your relationship (yay for being in shape). It just may not be the sexiest activity in the world like movies lead you to believe.
7. Doing Anything To Get A Date
Lloyd Dobler is one romantic son of a bitch, right? He’s definitely not at all creepy or crazy or obsessive, and definitely doesn’t display tendencies that are way too over the top. Spoiler alert: In real life, if you stand outside someone’s window holding up a boombox blasting music, you may be facing a restraining order rather than a happy ending. If someone says no, take them at their word! It’s not a fun game in which they are trying to get you to show how persistent you are.
6. Sharing Food At A Restaurant
Isn’t it just super fun and romantic to share food with your partner? Until that food is something like spaghetti and you suddenly have pasta sauce all over you. Oh wait, How I Met Your Mother makes that romantic too. Make sure that if you are picking a dessert or something fun to share with your partner, it is something that is easily shareable. It’s a sad sight when you cut your burger in half and all of your toppings spill all over the place.
5. A Room Full Of Candles
There may be some opportunities when you may want to set up a bunch of candles for a romantic moment. One such moment may be a proposal, and that’s why the scene where Monica proposes to Chandler in Friends is incredibly sweet. One moment that makes sense but really isn’t practical is setting up an entire room full of candles for some love making. Nothing says sexy like having to make sure you don’t accidentally set the room on fire, right? Not to mention it is something that takes some serious preparation so you better have some time on your hands to get it set up before your partner gets home.
4. Showering/Having A Bath Together
Don’t get me wrong, one of the sexiest things that my partner can engage in is some proper hygiene. Yet, one thing that may not be nearly as sexy as you had hoped after seeing it in the movies is showering or having a bath with your partner. First off, your accommodation needs to be big enough to fit both you and your partner. Then, you realize that water quickly washes away lube, and it can make things more painful than sexy. On top of that, you know what really isn’t sexy? Trying to seduce your partner then falling on your ass because you slipped on the soap. Have the shower, then have the love making (or reverse the order), but combining them can be a bad time.
3. Surprise Proposals
There is not going to be a bigger decision that you ever make in your entire life than the person who you choose to marry. It doesn’t matter what job you are doing, if you do not love your partner then when you come home at night you are going to have yourself a bad time. As a result, marriage proposals are not something that should just be sprung on your partner willy-nilly, even if the movies have made this seem like a super romantic gesture. I’m not saying you need to tell your partner exactly when you are going to propose, but you should have had that conversation long before you got down on one knee.
2. Running To Stop Someone From Getting On A Plane
Literally the last episode of Friends. In this episode, Ross runs up to Rachel and dramatically declares his love for her before she gets on a flight to Paris. She states, “I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.” She then gets on the plane. Any realistic person viewing this episode is thinking that Rachel’s reaction is normal because who the hell declares their love to someone before a flight? Give me a break. It does not work in real life. You had all day, all week to tell her how you feel but you waited until literally the last minute? You’re not romantic. You’re an insensitive jerk who was unable to communicate your feelings until it seemed like there was a gun to your head. Not to mention cancelling a plane ticket, or in Rachel’s case, cancelling a job in a new city, is expensive and just another reason why the whole thing is a bad idea.
Though, I still tear up every time it shows that she got off the plane… so there’s that.
1. Next Morning Action
Do you think your partner looks unbelievable in the mornings when she is just waking up? I’m blessed because I genuinely do. I love my partner and whether she is dressing up or dressing down, there is never a moment when I don’t think she’s beautiful. Yet, many people out there are in relationships where they suffer some shock when they wake up beside their partner and it is not who they went to bed beside. This can be especially alarming if you took your partner home from a bar and some alcohol was involved. The movies may make it seem like you can just roll over and right into love making, but you know what isn’t overrated? Brushing your teeth.