Scientologists believe that when they die, they move on to another body. Man is thus immortal, as well as a spiritual being. Okay, that doesn’t sound that bad or cultish. Scientology is also all about protecting humans from aliens residing in our bodies. Well, maybe that’s why Scientology is a punch line. Especially when those aliens are out to destroy humanity and ultimately the planet. How, and why? We don’t really know. Maybe if we were Scientologists, we’d understand. But hold your horses, enlightenment involves dollar signs.
Famous Scientologists, including John Travolta, Priscilla Presley, Kirstie Alley and Kelly Preston, donate millions to stay on board. And don’t forget Hollywood’s most bankable actor, Tom Cruise, who also gives millions and whose faith in Scientology is all-encompassing, so much so that it supposedly wrecked his marriage to Katie Holmes.
But we all know that. We also know that there are tons of celebs out there who are Scientologists. But everyone knows who they are, so we wanted more. We wanted to know who were the secret celebrity scientologists. With careful digging, we’ve outed ten of them below.
10. Giovanni Ribisi
We all know Giovanni Ribisi has made several movies, but he has never been in a hit film. He’s had more success on TV, though. He had a recurring role on Friends and was featured in multiple episodes of My Name is Earl. Although Scientology is a huge part of his life, Ribisi is what we know as a “quiet” Scientologist, a member who’s not out to convert people and is laid-back about it.
When he got married to supermodel Agyness Deyn recently, she was hounded by reporters asking if she’d convert. While it’s not known if she has, many in Scientology “expected” her to become a member. Scientologists love it when two people who share their faith in Scientology get hitched. That’s apparently why Tom Cruise’s marriage to Katie Holmes was doomed from the start. Holmes wasn’t a “member.” Read on, and you’ll find out how the faith plays “match maker” in finding couples who are both into Scientology.
He’s a four-time platinum rock star with twelve albums under his belt that range in different styles, from folk to hip-hop. His breakthrough single, “Loser” was a ginormous hit in 1994.
Although raised in Scientology, Beck managed to keep his affiliation under wraps until around 2007. That’s why he’s on our list of the top 10 secret celebrity Scientologists. What’s surprising about his membership is that he’s ironic and hip, things that seem a far cry from a religion that’s been described as a cult and that’s also been criticized for its supposed practices of brain washing, not to mention the defrauding of members. But maybe it’s in Beck’s bones. Maybe it’s preordained. Because, guess what, his father was a Scientologist for 35 years, and Beck’s wife is a second-generation Scientologist.
8. Danny Masterson
Best known as Hyde on That ‘70’s Show, Danny Masterson is similar to Beck, in that he’s a second-generation Scientologist: his parents are also Scientologists. Even his brother Chris Masterson, famous for being on the show Malcolm in the Middle, is a Scientologist.
Danny’s best known in Scientology circles, as being a supporter of its Psychiatry: the Industry of Death Museum. The museum takes its aim at psychiatry, claiming it’s a global conspiracy and that—wait for it—doctors and the pharmaceutical industry are out to turn us into zombies. Ah, zombies. Sounds like something straight out of the movie World War Z. Except, if you’re a patient of a psychiatrist, you’re considered a lunatic. Yep, a lunatic. And what about hospitals? They’re asylums. What if you’re giving birth? Do you head for the “asylum” or the museum? Hmm. Sounds like a tough call for us.
7. Elisabeth Moss
Well, well, well. Here we are in Scientology land again, where souls reincarnate and have lived on other planets, before living among us. Want more? Well, you’ll have to be ready to throw away a good-sized chunk of change to learn the “truth.”
Or we could just ask Elisabeth Moss. The actress who is famous for playing Peggy on the hit, Mad Men is one of our secret celeb Scientologists because she has only recently become publicly attached to the religion. That’s because of rumors circulating that she would make the perfect wife for Tom Cruise, Mr. Scientology himself, and that Scientologists would be happy if they got together. Why? It’s because members like to play match makers, wanting Cruise to get romantically involved with another celeb who shares the faith. Especially after the Katie Holmes fiasco, where news outlets cited the religion to be the main source of contention between Holmes and Cruise. But maybe Moss should keep her beliefs to herself. After all, she’s already being accused of wrecking someone’s life because of her faith. It was her marriage to SNL star, Fred Armisen, who was rumored to having divorced her because she was a Scientologist.
6. Erika Christensen
It’s a curious thing. Most of the secret celebrity Scientologists are second generation Scientologists and yet, they aren’t publicly associated with the faith.
Erika Christensen is one of them. The Parenthood star was introduced to Scientology as a young girl, as both her parents were Scientologists. She’s only recently ventured out to explain her belief, claiming Scientologists don’t worship rabbits. Hmm. A religion that doesn’t worship rabbits? What kind of faith is that? Rabbits are part of our larger faith, no? Defending herself, Christensen recently said, “Obviously, people make fun of what they don’t understand.” Right. Got it.
5. Anne Archer
It’s interesting that we haven’t heard much about Anne Archer being a Scientologist, despite the fact that she and her husband have been members since 1975. Which is why she lands on our list of top 10 secret celebrity Scientologists.
Arhcer is best known for being the wife of Michael Douglas, in the film Fatal Attraction. Her son, Tommy Davis, just recently stepped down as the main spokesman for Scientology. He was in that role from 2007 to 2010, but according to Archer, he will always be a member. His departure from the group is believed to be a result of a falling out with David Miscavige, the head of the church. Archer is a rather important figure in Scientology, having founded the Artists for Human Rights, which raises human rights awareness around the globe, among other things. Well, at least that doesn’t sound bad.
4. Juliette Lewis
Juliette Lewis, famous for her roles in Natural Born Killers, Kalifornia and Cape Fear, usually sounds like she isn’t the brightest tool in the shed when she talks, but when she talks about Scientology, she’s actually articulate, claiming that it’s about understanding one’s self and others, and about how to treat people with compassion. Who knew that Scientology could be explained in that way? Where, we ask, are those doctors who are out to turn us into zombies?
Lewis hasn’t confirmed that she believes her ancestors were reincarnated aliens, and that she came from some kind of alien life. But she is surprisingly understanding about Scientology “misconceptions,” clearly defending her religion in a way that doesn’t scare one off. She claims that L. Ron Hubbard’s science fiction stories get confused with his teachings, which is where the zombie part comes in. In Vanity Fair, Lewis said, “It’s like you thinking I might punch somebody in the face because I played somebody who punched somebody in the face in a movie.” A great analogy. We weren’t exactly expecting that.
3. Jerry Seinfeld
Of course you know who he is. He’s the Master of his Domain, and the guy waiting for soup from the Soup Nazi. Yes, it’s Jerry Seinfeld, and he’s near the top of our list of secret celeb Scientologists. That’s because Jerry Seinfeld has never admitted his association with the group until 1997, when he was at the peak of his career. And since then, he has never been “associated” with the faith.
Who knew that a heckler and a funny man could believe in Xenu, the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy who loaded billions into a spacecraft to exterminate them? We might never know why. All we know is that he was once a secret member of Scientology. His “outing” came from a 2007 interview with Parade Magazine, where he claimed he only “dabbled” in Scientology. When he was young, he took Scientology classes and admitted that its teachings were responsible for his early successes.
2. Will Smith
Will Smith is perhaps the heavyweight of Hollywood, able to command millions for movie roles. Smith is near the top of our list of secret celebrity Scientologists because he’s made multi-million dollar donations to the church, over the span of many years, while at the same time denying any affiliation.
Deny all he wants, but those dollar signs implicate him in Scientology. And yet, he claims he’s never practiced the faith. Well, it makes perfect sense then for him to donate so much money to a church whose teachings he doesn’t believe in. We do it all the time. It all makes perfect sense, especially when Smith has claimed that he hangs out with a lot of Scientologists. Yes, yes, it all makes perfect sense.
1. Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson is a Scientologist! Surprise! Which is why the cartoon character from the Simpsons tops our list at #1 for our top 10 secret celebrity Scientologists.
Okay, so it’s not really Bart Simpson. It’s the voice behind the cartoon character, NANCY CARTWRIGHT. Yep, Bart is voiced by a female. You perhaps already know that. But what you probably don’t know is that Bart’s voice is a practicing Scientologist. Thanks in part to Cartwright, Bart was named one of the 100 most important people of the twentieth-century by Time. We hate to quibble, but since when have we started believing that cartoon characters are people?
Cartwright was raised as a Roman Catholic, but she was missing a community and joined Scientology so that she could go to church and foster relationships. She must really love the church, because in 1997, she donated ten million dollars towards it. That’s higher than well-known Scientologists like Tom Cruise, the poster boy of Scientology, Kristie Alley, who donated five milllion and higher than John Travolta, who donated one million.
Although, her belief has caused some controversy. Apparently Cartwright made a message that surfaced on You Tube, using her Bart Simpson voice to announce a Scientology conference. While FOX and Simpsons creator, Matt Groening remained mum about the use of Bart’s voice, executive producer, Al Jean went on record to say that the message had not been authorized by the show, and that The Simpsons do not, and never have, “endorsed any religion, philosophy or system of beliefs any more profound than Butterfinger bars.”