Let me start by saying that the films on this list won’t qualify as “so bad they’re good.” There are no movies here like The Room, Troll 2 or even Birdemic: Shock and Terror because those films still generate audiences. Heck, I personally own two of those films. What we have on this list are honest to god attempts by qualified filmmakers to make something passable that turned into garbage. Some of the worst things you could ever watch.
I’m not a filmmaker and I try not pretend that I am, but I have a hard time understanding what happened during the filming of these cinematic curb stomps. You would think that at some point, like halfway through filming maybe, a point with a good sample size, one crew member might have asked when they would start adding some good stuff into these films.
I’ve also tried to mix this list up. It’s painfully obvious that most critics unfairly punish certain genres, actors and directors. So no, this list won’t be populated by only Adam Sandler, M. Night Shyamalan, horror and romcoms, though, if we went by Rotten Tomato scores, these would take up nearly the entire list. Instead, I’ve tried to add a few films from many different genres to show that there is a variety of garbage floating around Hollywood.
20. Daddy Day Camp
A movie about two guys running a camp with no idea how properly run a camp, written and directed by guys who have no idea how to make a movie, is a recipe for disaster. I don’t think this movie is even for kids. I am seriously confused as to who this movie is for, like these guys were just killing time and had a camera and a couple actors. Of all the movies that I think a sequel would work for, Daddy Day Care was not high on my list.
From John McTiernan, the guy behind Die Hard, comes something entirely different and entirely awful. What is probably supposed to be high-flying action becomes incomprehensible, difficult to follow and just plain dumb. It really misses on everything it tries to accomplish in spectacular fashion. The only thing more forced and awkward than the heavy-handed sensationalist social critique within the film is Chris Klein’s acting.
18. Hot Tub Time Machine 2
I really liked the first dip into the hot tub; the jokes were funny, and it was refreshing. The second entry is like going back into the tub, but this time the water is half pee and the jokes are floaters. While Rob Corddry can really grind my gears (like really why are there two Ds in your name?), Adam Scott and Craig Robinson and others deserve better than this. It’s a shame really.
17. Jack and Jill
Most will hate anything that Adam Sandler puts out nowadays. While his movies are definitely a little tired and silly for today’s audiences, they are not nearly as bad as people like say. Well this one is as bas as they say. This one most certainly is. I found myself chuckling a few times, but I can’t say for sure at what. I don’t know. You’re on your own for this one Sandler.
16. The Roommate
You know how in every crime show, there’s the straightforward answer that’s presented to you right away which is far too obvious, so you try to predict what the twist is and who the real criminal is? Well this is like that, but there’s no second half. You keep predicting the crazy plot twist, but the movie is having none of that. No, it turns out that it was the too obvious, too predictable result that you saw coming a mile away. Yep. That’s it.
15. Movie 43
Not good. Not funny in the least. You can’t help but imagine that the all-star cast were kidnapped and held at gun point to act out the scenes in this one. You feel genuinely sorry for them as they regurgitate unfunny line after unfunny line. Many seem to be confused as to how they got there, others steadfast on helping out a friend who is clearly losing touch with reality, like pretending it’s normal that grandma asked you to put the lamp back in the refrigerator. I think the point here was to put famous actors in crazy and unexpected gross-out sketches to surprise the audience into laughing, but the result is pity chuckles and silence, buckets of silence. I felt bad that people actually worked on this and gave it to the world, half-expecting people to enjoy it. We didn’t. We couldn’t.
I don’t know why Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck broke things off, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this movie got the ball rolling. At the time this was put out, the negativity surrounding it was rampant. Well, I went back to see if it was as bad as I remember, and it was much worse. Just awful. Like just so bad. The story is corny, the acting is offensive, the co-star chemistry non-existent. It’s really difficult to get through to end of it. Alright, so I didn’t get through it, but trust me, nothing was going to redeem what I had already seen.
13. Alone in the Dark
From director Uwe Boll comes a video game adaptation that is frighteningly, shockingly bad. While there was one single critic on Rotten Tomatoes that thought this was a fresh movie, don’t let that fool you. I have no doubt that she was watching the wrong film or maybe rating the original video game, but there is no possible way that someone finished this and thought they will give it a passing grade. Uwe Boll? More like Uwe Bad..
12. Because I Said So
Chick flicks have (probably unfairly) gained a bad reputation for playing too hard into stereotypes, but after seeing this movie, you have to wonder if they deserve it. Like the entire genre should be punished for allowing this film to exist, for not razing it to the ground. The acting is painfully awkward, and the script is pathetic. I think it’s supposed to be a comedy but there’s nothing even close to funny. The characters are only annoying and unrelatable. AHHH! How does something like this happen?
11. Babylon A.D.
Yes, it is as bad as you heard it was. No, you should not give it a chance. Sometimes brainless action movies are a nice treat, but unfortunately, unless you’re able to completely turn off any logic or storyline detectors in your head, you can’t enjoy this. While its flashing lights and loud sounds might be able to distract you for a few minutes, it can’t hold you for an hour and 30 minutes. Babies might enjoy it, except for the violence. Nah, nevermind. Probably shouldn’t show it to babies.
10. The Adventures of Pluto Nash
It’s almost as if Eddie Murphy was busy, so the studio got an Eddie robot to go through the motions of this film. It looks like the human Eddie, but it doesn’t understand our customs yet. It doesn’t quite grasp what comedy is yet, but it’s going to give it a college try. Looking back, it’s tough to really tell what the goals were for this film. With all that money and all that talent, you would think they would be able to tell one funny joke, but they can’t. They just are unable to get one laugh. I’m physically rattled after watching this.
9. I, Frankenstein
I, Frankenstein began as a strong concept and, well, that’s where it stopped. In what might be sloppiest story on the list, this film becomes incomprehensible almost as soon as it starts. With some really awkward performances, questionable CGI and a pointless story, this film is memorable alright, but for all the wrong reasons. It’s difficult to tell if, because of a bad script, the filmmakers chose to make it loud and explosive to distract from the awful story, or if the loud and explosiveness took away precious time from the script, making it awful. But whatever the reasons, the result is a loud and explosive pile of excrement. No thank you I, Frankenstein. No thank you.
8. One Missed Call
I love cheesy horror movies, but I can admit when one is too bad. Not so bad that it’s good, but bad, boring and stupid. Beginning with a premise that isn’t even remotely troubling, this J-horror remake tried to make cellphones scary but failed miserably. I left genuinely more afraid of getting my fingers squished by my flip phone than a missed call.
7. I Know Who Killed Me
If the makers of this film were trying to have the audience connect and empathize with the victims it was a screaming success. Instead of being kidnapped for 2 weeks though, I was held against my will, writhing and squirming, for an hour and 46 minutes as I was tortured with terrible acting and predictable plotlines.
The only thing scary about this film is that the cast and crew are paid professionals, and I like Stephen Dorff. sure he’s been in some clunkers, but this is really bad, even for his standards. I almost feel like I’m the target of this film, like it’ll be me who’s dead in two days after watching it, once my body has fully realized what I’ve forced it to watch and just shuts down. In a way it’s kind of like watching The Ring but instead you’re being punched in the face and spit on.
I love my cat, but I couldn’t look at him for a few days after watching Catwoman. Every time I saw his fuzzy face, I would get flashbacks of some of the worst CGI and most pointless storylines ever. It seems that the plan failed from the get-go. Simply putting a barely clothed Halle Berry on screen doesn’t make for a good movie. But wait! What if we add in one of the worst 1-on-1 basketball games ever filmed? Nah. That didn’t work either. Try fire.
4. Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever
You might finish this movie (probably not, but you might) and think, did I… did I miss something? Surprisingly, after much research on the internet, I found that no, we didn’t miss anything. That’s actually the movie. It’s looks a lot like the result of the writers and directors all walking off the set and pyrotechnics guy is all like “it can’t be that hard.”
Giving Mariah Carey a starring role in a film is like letting your dog do your taxes. Now, while the dog may accidentally push some of the right buttons, nothing good happens by accident in Glitter. The entire film seems like the filmmakers set out to fail with intent and purpose. Watching this feels like a 2-hour music video for a musician you can’t stand. Yes, watching this feels like watching a 2-hour Mariah Carey music video.
2. Disaster Movie
In hindsight, it’s too bad that Scary Movie gained popularity parodying genre films because it led some writers and filmmakers to believe that they could do it again. I love comedy and I love bad movies. I feel I can appreciate humor in many different forms, but even I can’t get behind this flick. I don’t see how, when writing, shooting or editing the sketches, it didn’t become painfully obvious that there was nothing remotely funny about anything they were doing. While 90% of the jokes are people falling or getting hit by something, the other 10% seem to be for immature 13-year-olds.
1. Battlefield Earth
There’s a feeling that hits you when watching this movie; it’s kind of like shame mixed with embarrassment with a touch of anger. Whatever it is, it’s entirely justified because this film is just a jumbled mess. There is no direction, laughable CGI and some of the worst dialogue ever captured on film. The weirdest thing is that I think John Travolta is simply playing himself in this movie, which might be mean to say, so… Seriously, watching him here is more painful than watching him peanut-butter-mouth his way through Idina Menzel’s name at the Oscars. Rather than watch this, do yourself a favor and spend those 2 hours Travoltifying people’s name.