Our beloved Brangelina has sadly come to a stormy end with the recent announcement that Angelina was filing for divorce against the ‘hopelessly devoted to you’ Brad Pitt. Screams of wild women of all ages could be heard calling out one cry “Say it isn’t so!” While a whole other sect of females jumped upon heavy metal machines to rev their engines and head off to LA in the hopes of finding their golden boy to nurse him back to health. Easily one of America’s favorite actors and box office draws, Brad Pitt has been pumping out films as effortlessly as his character in Fight Club, Tyler Durden, pumped his fists. He is the iconic sex symbol that girls swoon after and guys envy. Pitt has countless classics under his belt; Fight Club (1999), Se7en (1995), Ocean’s Eleven (2001), Inglourious Basterds (2009) just to name a few. With his stellar looks, those washboard abs and devilish ways, you wouldn’t imagine he’d ever had a film flop. But as everyone knows in tinsel town, no one shines forever.
Here is a list of the 15 worst Brad Pitt movies of all time. Although we can’t help but admire and stare at his exceptionally handsome looks and chiseled physique, these movies actually made us want to close our eyes and, dare I say… look away.
15. Interview With The Vampire
Brad Pitt has admitted in many interviews that he hated making Interview with the Vampire and it was one of the worst experiences of his life. Filming for six months in the dark, wearing yellow contact lenses and getting his hair and makeup done on the daily was something he was having a hard time sinking his teeth into. Pitt also shared the big screen with Tom Cruise in this 1994 horror flick which became a horror of its own for Brad. A film with such a wealth of talent had the ear marks of a sure hit, but the audience was left feeling empty and cold with disappointment.
The film had the perfect gothic look and exaggerated makeup, but we were beset tirelessly with a whiny Brad Pitt throughout and a plot that seemed to get dragged about more than the hanging black cape he wore. The film had its heart in the right place, but it ended with no vital pulse to be found.
14. Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas
Many of us forget that Brad Pitt starred as the voice of an adventurous sailor in the animated movie Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas. But we cannot forget how bad this movie actually was. The 2003 animated comedy was produced by DreamWorks Pictures and told the story of a pirate named Sinbad who traveled the sea with the lovely Marina (voiced by Catherine Zeta-Jones) in search of the “Book of Peace” to save their friend Proteus (voiced by Joseph Fiennes) from execution. The film hit DreamWorks Animation with a loss of $125 million dollars.
Although it did have fantastic animation and gorgeous imagery, many reviews said the movie butchered the actual story of Sinbad. It was too bland, lacked personality and the spark of capturing viewers just wasn’t there. This film was definitely a shipwreck for Pitt and a sinking ship for viewers who were pleading to get off by the end.
13. The Mexican
Many of us were excited to see Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts come together in this romantic adventure but were left disappointed since the pair ends up being apart for most of the movie. The 2001 film tells the tale of a mobster named Jerry Welbach (Brad Pitt) who has been instructed by his boss to travel to Mexico to retrieve an ancient and priceless gun called “The Mexican” and bring it back across the border. All the while his girlfriend (Julia Roberts) pressures him to give up his criminal ways and change his life around.
The ending was pretty gruesome with a bloody and violent standoff, and even though Pitt and Roberts are together, they do not seem romantically connected at all. You believe from the beginning it is going to be a charming and comedic road trip only to be left feeling stranded at a dead end. This wasn’t Brad Pitt’s worst movie of all time, but it was definitely a dull and poorly acted one and so deserves to be on the list.
12. Seven Years In Tibet
This film is based on a true story of an Austrian mountain climber who becomes friends with the Dalai Lama at the same time China takes over Tibet. Just writing this sentence fills us with complete and utter boredom as we wonder why it is that every gorgeous, red-blooded American actor always feels the need to be in a film that even the description alerts you to the fact that the next two hours are going to be as much fun as watching a dust ball roll from one end of the room to the other. Come on, it’s Brad Pitt for the love of God! Is he going to be wearing lederhosen? Short shorts that show off his manly legs and tight bum? Of course he’s not! This film is based on a true story, written by the actual Austrian climber, Heinrich Harrer.
It did, however, win the PFS (Political Film Society) award for Peace as an exposé of human rights. So there it is, the real reason our man Brad starred in this serious film about the Dalai. He wanted to impress Angelina. In the end, it always comes back to the girl.
11. By The Sea
It seems that Brad and Angelina were trying to save their marriage for a while. By The Sea stars these two as a married couple who are trying to rekindle their relationship. But perhaps a French resort couldn’t do the trick for the real life couple who just recently decided to call it quits. Many of us loved the passionate and explosive duo in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But By the Sea, which Jolie directed, was a bomb at the box office and wasn’t making big waves with the viewers.
Here, we have a film that is such a dud you will have to elbow the person sitting next to you that the movie has ended and it’s time to leave. The characters themselves are quiet and have a hard time communicating. Because of this you find your mind idling and your eyes glossing over all within the first 30 minutes.
10. The Devil’s Own
Don’t dance with the Devil and watch The Devil’s Own. For if you do, you will quite literally wind up at the gates of Hell. The 1997 thriller, directed by Alan J. Pakula stars Harrison Ford as a policeman named Tom O’Meara who lets a man named Rory Devaney (Brad Pitt) stay at his house only to realize that Rory is in the Irish Republican Army. We have yet again another film where Harrison Ford’s family gets kidnapped. Pitt fails miserably at trying to create an Irish accent which is almost as annoying as his character.
One of the worst movies for both of these men’s careers. Whatever made them sign on to do this film is still a mystery to us and probably even them. A political thriller that will leave you so bored you will end up wanting to drive to the nearest pub and order yourself more than one Guinness. Cheers mates!
9. Cutting Class
One of Brad’s first movies ever, Cutting Class was a 1989 slasher/thriller film about a murderer on the loose in a high-school. The horror film does have a hint of comedy thrown into the mix, but mostly this is a movie that stoners would probably appreciate— and that’s all the credit it’ll get. The title was probably intended as a bit of a joke since kids tend to cut class and there is a killer on the loose in the school cutting kids throats with a knife. Ha. Ha.
After Brad Pitt’s stardom, this film was repackaged and marketed to draw the many fans of Brad to view it. However, this is the one film the extremely young and baby-faced Brad Pitt would most likely wish no one sees. If you’re deciding to skip class or are calling in to school for a sick day and are looking for a good movie to watch, Cutting Class is one we do not recommend. Take the hall pass and find something else.
8. The Favor
You’ll be thanking us for this; take our advice and don’t watch this film. This 1994 Indie drama directed by Donald Petrie earned a little more than $3 million at the box office— the film itself cost $12 million to make. Talk about a bust. A story of two married women who are best friends and one asks the other to test the waters with an old high-school lover to see what she is missing out on. Honestly, what could go wrong? If you’re thinking you want to watch a movie with a young and striking Brad Pitt, do not watch this one. This film will do you no favors and certainly didn’t do Brad Pitt any.
What we have here is just a plain and awful 80s movie that happened to be made in the 90s. Even if Brad can wear a pair of glasses and still look chic, what this film is going for, we’re just not quite clear.
7. Johnny Suede
This 1991 music comedy, directed by Tom DiCillo, tells the tale of Johnny Suede, played by Brad Pitt, a struggling musician with big dreams and even bigger hair. All Johnny wants is to be a rock star, when all of a sudden, a pair of suede shoes falls into his lap. He then believes the shoes are the answer to all of his prayers. Life starts looking up for him when he begins dating Darlette, played by Alison Moir. That is, until his luck begins to change and he realizes that not everything revolves around suede shoes. And there you have it. There’s nothing more to the storyline and it is one that drones on and on with dull characters prancing in and out of screen.
Everyone has their weakness, and when it comes to Brad Pitt, he was the ‘Achilles heel’ of the movie Troy. Pitt played Achilles himself, but despite all of his strengths as an actor, he was the ultimate downfall for the film. Based on Homer’s Iliad, this 2004 movie portrays the battle of Troy and Sparta. The special effects and visuals were quite strong but the writing here was extremely weak. Pitt is the main man of the show and although he does give a demanding and physical performance, he is not the hero many of us hoped for.
We do get to see a sweaty and shirtless Brad throughout, but his armor wasn’t strong enough to stop the spear that sliced through our hopes and dreams of this movie being epic. Homer’s Iliad is one of the most interesting and famous texts in literature, and this movie just didn’t do it justice. It definitely won’t be going down in cinematic history.
5. Happy Feet 2
It doesn’t make us happy to let you know that Happy Feet 2 was one of the worst Brad Pitt movies ever. Who wouldn’t love adorable and fluffy penguins busting out some dance moves in the Arctic? Unfortunately, this film is no party. The first Happy Feet movie was original and a great animated story, but the sequel is the iceberg that sank the Titanic. The 2011 comedy centers around Mumble the penguin (voiced by Elijah Wood) who is the king of tap dancing and has a son named Erik who is unwilling to dance.
Brad Pitt gives his voice to the character Will the Krill, a shrimp-like crustacean. His performance was pretty fishy and his voice seemed forced and didn’t work well with the animation. We will let you off the hook if you haven’t seen this film, we wish we hadn’t either. With all the flapping the penguins do throughout, this movie is flightless and can’t get off its feet.
4. The Counselor
Take our advice and never see this movie. The Counselor is a 2013 drama directed by Ridley Scott, that stars not only Brad Pitt but also Penelope Cruz, Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, and Cameron Diaz. A well stacked cast with a full deck that just didn’t play their cards right. This movie is a bit too complex, dull and doesn’t live up to its potential. It leaves the viewers with a bad taste in their mouth and “meh” running through their mind. A film that is just plain weird and we’re not just talking about the scene where Cameron Diaz has sex with a car. That is one best left for the imagination, my friends.
This is an overly-written script, if that’s even possible, and I think we can state fairly that it is. It’s disappointing and nasty in every sense of the words. Sometimes, you can have all the right ingredients, but the final product doesn’t always work out. Here is yet again another terrible Brad Pitt movie that deserves to be on the list. We know that’s a tough pill to swallow, but we’ve counseled over it and it’s unanimously agreed.
3. Ocean’s Twelve
We loved watching Brad Pitt eat in Ocean’s Eleven. We loved it when he held his delicate, beautiful fingers to his delicious ripe lips and licked them as he ate his hamburger outside the jailhouse as he waited for Danny Ocean (George Clooney) to be released. We loved how he licked his white spoon as he ate his lemon ice and how erotic he looked whenever he was eating anything, which was all the time. No one eats food as sensually as Brad Pitt does in his movies. Nor does anyone eat more food as he does in Ocean’s Eleven.
So why do we hate Ocean’s Twelve? Why do we ‘gag’ at the thought of anyone wasting 125 minutes watching this sequel? One reason: you should never mess with perfection, and the team was in perfect form in Eleven. Going to Twelve was, should we say, bad form. And trying for a Thirteen, well that was sheer gluttony.
Many of us cannot forget when Juliette Lewis wore those extremely unflattering cornrows to the Oscars and took a young Brad Pitt as her date. But many do forget the 1991 thriller Kalifornia; a film the two shared the screen with, as well as led to some personal time off set. In this crime drama, we see a writer named Brian Kesseler, played by David Duchovny from X-Files, and his girlfriend Carrie Laughlin who are working on writing a book about serial killers. They decide to go on a road trip and visit the famous sites of these psychopaths and get a ride from a couple of strangers named Early Grayce, played by Brad Pitt, and Adele Corners, played by Juliette Lewis. Little do they know, Early is a serial killer himself.
A plot with a lot of potential and yet it loses its way and seems to meander along an old and tired story line. With a band of hot up-and-coming actors, this film could have been off the charts but it ended up being mediocre at best with a too predictable ending.
1. Cool World
With only a mere 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, Cool World is probably the worst Brad Pitt movie ever. Here, we see a mix between cartoons and reality, a mixture that is normally not good for anyone unless you’re Michael Jordan in Space Jam. In this 1992 film we see an artist named Jack Deebs, played by Gabriel Byrne, who enters into the cartoon realm called ‘Cool World’. Here, he falls head over heels for one of his own creations, a gorgeous blond named Hollie Would, who is actually trying to seduce her creator so she can cross over into the real world. Brad Pitt plays Detective Frank Harris who must stop anything bad from happening.
One of the film’s major faults was that it tried to combine animation with live action and the result was a complete disaster. It didn’t work well together and just wasn’t believable. From terrible drawings of characters to insane plots, this movie is an overall mess. Back to the drawing boards, people.