When people think about superheroes, their minds typically jump right to the greats, but what about the rest? Those superheroes don’t get nearly enough recognition and are even passed off as second class heroes as a direct result. And then there’s the bottom of the barrel. The characters that make you question the sanity of the creators working for DC Comics, because their mere premise is just that unbelievable. Given, you are bound to stretch the likes of your imagination when you engage with a comic book, but there’s a point in time where it just gets ridiculous. Just so you know, most of these fall under that very category.
There’s that odd superhero here and there that may just be on the weaker side of the spectrum, but are still very believable. More often than not, they are the ones that even make you believe that you can be ordinary, but are still capable of achieving extraordinary things. But, most of the time it’s the latter.
So, are you ready to have a lot of moments where you just bow your head down to shake your head or laugh like a crazy? If so, scroll down and let your mind be amazed at some of the simply absurd concepts that DC could have come up, which then resulted in the weakest superheroes that they ever made.
A lot of superheroes have a very tragic story and Batgirl, aka Barbara Gordon, is no different. After working with Batman, being shot in the spine by Joker and regaining her ability to walk, Barbara has come leaps and bounds and her mental strength is better for it. But, she is nowhere near the caliber of some of DC’s biggest like Superman, Batman, or even Arrow for that matter. While she may be extremely smart, intelligence is not nearly enough to really fight off the enemies of Gotham City. Sure, she may also be good at martial arts but, again, when you’re in combat with villains who are not only bigger than you are, stronger than you and have more in their arsenal, it doesn’t really mean very much. Even her weapons are limited because, let’s face it, she only carries around batrope and batarangs… maybe things would be different if she were to be more than 21 years old and be able to stand on her own but, until that happens, her inexperience and inescapable side-kick status make her an easy target.
14. Animal Man
Simply put, Animal Man is like Aquaman… but worse. Where Aquaman was at least fighting crime on a regular basis, Buddy Baker alternated between living a “normal” life and embodying what it means to be a superhero, which technically resulted in him never living up to his full potential. While the concept behind this character is cool, it is deeply flawed and, well, its execution was kind of dumb. The possibilities were technically endless because he is able to absorb certain characteristics that animals possess, on Earth or otherwise. But, because he had to be near the creature to utilize it there is only so much that you can do with said ability. Even after he establishes a connection with the Red, or the morphogenetic field, thus allowing him to access qualities from animals that have already gone extinct and mix and match them up to suit the situation that he was in. The moment that this link was either disrupted or scrambled his powers became very unpredictable. Again, cool concept but the application of the character’s powers left a lot to be desired.
13. Bouncing Boy
Yes, you read that correctly, it does read Bouncing Boy. And, yes, he does just have the ability to bounce. Chuck Taine was once a normal boy who may have been a little more on the chunky side but it wasn’t really a big deal. But, this all changed after he drank what he thought to be a soda but was actually a super-plastic fluid. After he consumed it, his life changed forevermore. By obtaining the ability to inflate his body and basically become a human version of a super ball, he decided it best to go fight crime and use his newly acquired power for good. Bouncing around and ricocheting off things without bringing forth harm to himself has come in handy, especially when he was fighting villains whose main attack involves electricity, but he is not even close to being one of the best superheroes out there. Sure, he could hypothetically attack a villain who has gotten away by knocking them over but any miscalculations regarding his angle, distance or whatever may come in his way and it would be absolute chaos.
12. The Red Bee
It’s fine and dandy if you have an unusual passion, but the moment where you start finding ways to bring it into your everyday life you know that there’s a problem— especially if it has to do with bees. Apparently Richard Raleigh wasn’t satisfied enough with being the assistant district attorney, so he chose the life of fighting crime and decided to use trained bees as his weapon of choice. While he may have some basic hand-to-hand combat skills up his “sleeve” and be very courageous, he is also definitely one of the weakest superheroes that the world has ever seen. Along with his bee pal who he named “Michael” that sits inside a pouch that was incorporated into his costume so that he could be released on special occasions, their battle for justice is never over. There may be some backlash on this particular choice considering that he is more an average guy with an edge, like Spider-Man for example, but when even Peter Parker can kick your butt as long as he’s not afraid of some stings you know that there’s a major problem. Needless to say, his fight against Nazis and gangsters was not a very long one and he was not on the winning side.
While the Vibe persona may have been taken on by two separate people at different points of time, Paco Ramone’s version is the one that we’re talking about here. Even if you haven’t heard of him, it’s easy to see why he made the cut. This Latino vigilante from Detroit uses his metahuman abilities to fight crime the only way he knows how: break-dancing. His body also emits powerful shock waves that vibrate, but that is not nearly enough to fight any sort of major crime. Given, that particular dance form needs a lot of strength to do and can be dangerous if you are able to pull off the right moves at the right time, but a simple dodge can get you out of harm’s way and that’s not exactly what you would call an ideal situation. In the same sort of regard, his vibrations may be able to break apart concrete and steel, but if it won’t do anything to your enemies than what’s the point? He, like The Red Bee, did not last long against his foes and was quickly killed by one of Professor Andro’s androids.
Extraño may have been a big step forward for DC in a lot of ways, especially when it came to opening doors about who can be a superhero. But his creation was not their proudest moment by a long shot. This openly gay man may have acquired his powers after being recruited by The Guardians of the Universe, but you would think that with a title of a corps like that they would have done a slightly better job. While he may have been a magician in his “previous” life, his powers were heightened but he was still nowhere even close to his Marvel counter-part (if you can even call him that), Doctor Strange. If anything, Gregorio de la Varga was nothing but a background character, present to make people smile and lend a helping hand every once in a while.
9. Matter-Eater Lad
There isn’t too much to say when it comes to Tenzil Kem, or Matter-Eater Lad except for that he eats a lot. While he may have this ability passed onto him through genetics, the planet that he was from only contained food that was really hard to eat so they had to evolve or die. He is just one of those characters who didn’t have to be made in the first place. Come on, when your only ability has to do with the eating and digestion of food, you know that there’s a problem and makes you wonder who in their right mind thought that this was a good idea! Sure, we all wished that we could eat whatever we wanted and not have to worry about the consequences, but Matter-Eater Lad brings this to the next level. He is by far one of the weakest superheroes that DC has ever created, as long as you don’t count having the digestion and mastication system of a god that is, and comic realm is better off now that he is out of sight, out of mind.
8. Madame Fatal
Richard Stanton is one of the reasons why actors are viewed as being these out-of-the-box people who can’t live within typical societal norms. But, you must admit that his idea was sheer brilliance. By using his acting training, he disguises himself as an elderly woman so that he will not be recognized and, if nothing else, at least give him that. It’s one thing not to expect much from a retired actor who goes into the crime fighting business in order to find his daughter after she’s been kidnapped, but when you simply depend on your ability to deceive, then you’re opening a whole new can of worms. Despite being in perfect physical shape and extremely agile, that hardly makes you the ideal candidate for the job, but kudos for trying. Maybe everything wouldn’t be so sigh-worthy if after nine years of searching he finally brought the hand of justice upon John Carver, his daughter’s kidnapper, and found his daughter. But the writers couldn’t even give him that much. Maybe he should have just let the cops take care of it and continued doing something that he was actually good at – acting.
7. Arm-Fall-Off Boy
Arm-Fall-Off Boy is viewed as one of the most ridiculous superheroes of all time and, with a name like that, it’s easy to see why. He apparently gained his powers because his absolutely careless lifestyle collided with an anti-gravity metal called Element 52 and, as outlandish as that may sound, it could somehow be a feasible excuse. As a result of this particular incident, he was able to literally pull his arm out of its socket, skin and all, and use it as a blunt weapon against bad guys. But wait, there’s more! All of his limbs can undergo the same sort of treatment, which means that absolutely anything is possible. But this course of action is probably not advised. He may have been rejected by the Legion of Super-Heroes, but that didn’t stop him from going into the crime-fighting business all by his lonesome. All jokes aside, Arm-Fall-Off Boy was meant to be as over the top and face-palm worthy as he was.
6. John Tane aka Johnny Thunder
John Tane was a simple man in an average old western town who made a promise to his mother that he would never use violence against anybody. But, this life was too good to last and when life got to the point where he had to pick up a gun in order to defend all that was right with his world; he just couldn’t stand to sit there and do nothing about it. So, he changed his name to Johnny Thunder, dyed his hair black, changed his clothes and embraced the superhero lifestyle. Being an ordinary man with a noble heart, he doesn’t have any powers or special abilities to back him up, just the skills that he picked up over the years. So, with his exceptional equestrian skills and sharp-shooting, he defended what was right and prevailed. At least his story shows us that we don’t have to be particularly strong or special to do something extraordinary because life gives you all of the skills that you can possibly need. All you need to do is know how to use them.
5. Color Kid
There was a reason why Color Boy was rejected by the Legion of Super-Heroes and that reason is a simple one: he can only change the color of objects. Sure, it would be one thing if he changed the color and transformed the texture for example, but, nope, that was just too extreme for his creators. Instead he just moved his hands close to an object and BAM!, it now looks different. Given, his one ability isn’t all bad, especially when you consider that he can use it on virtually any scale, but still. Inverting the color scheme of the sky and ground will only confuse your enemies for a short period of time and, once they figure out his ruse, there is absolutely nothing that he can do about it. If he at least had some sort of combat abilities, even of the most basic sort, then he wouldn’t be such a disappointment, but sadly this is not the case. So all we can do is shake our heads and hope that DC doesn’t make the same mistake again.
4. Stone Boy
You would initially think that this would be a great idea for a superhero, especially if it meant that he was both indestructible and very strong but if that’s what you were expecting out of Stone Boy, then you would sadly be mistaken. Dag Wentim is originally from a planet called Zwen, where they can transform their bodies into stone (thus making them hard like rock, perfect for when they go into hibernation). But, the one disadvantage of this skill is that it makes them immobile. Given, this ability is great if one of his teammates from the Legion of Substitute Heroes needed to drop him on an enemy, but otherwise it’s pretty much useless. Despite being immeasurably strong when in his second form, when Dag is in his “human” shape he’s just your average guy with no extraordinary qualities whatsoever. Given, he eventually learned how to move while in his stone state but he is still one of the weakest superheroes that DC every came up with and someone that the realm wouldn’t have missed if he were never there to begin with.
3. Rainbow Girl
We have all heard of those situations where the ends by no way justify the means and Rainbow Girl’s mere existence is the embodiment of that motto. In this case, her weakness overwhelms her ability to wield the power of the emotional spectrum, thus making her extremely susceptible to mood swings – the quality that she has been linked to forevermore. Honestly, it’s very difficult to even explain its purpose because it seems like she just does this so that everyone will like her and, for some reason or another, get surrounded by a field of light that resembles a rainbow. Because of this, she would be better off without it because then she would at least have her good looks, ability to fly, combat skills and telekinesis to fall back upon. However, this is not the case and it’s a shame since she may have actually been able to prove her worth otherwise.
Dog Welder is basically as extreme as his name names him out to be and summarizes what his “superpower” is down to a T. While it may not have been the most creative name choice that he could have come up with, it does get down to the point while still leaving a little room for surprises. Sorry, there’s no better way to put it. Dog Welder takes bad guys and, for some odd reason, welds dead dogs to their faces. And then you wonder why this anonymous figure made it so far down this list. In fact, he isn’t really even a superhero, just some alcoholic schmo who decided to team up with Section 8, more alcoholics in an attempt to “fight” crime. And then you wonder why there was buzz going around that he was either a psychopath or schizophrenic… The scariest part about it? He never shows his face, no one knows his real name and he is mute throughout the comics, thus making him a completely anonymous figure to not only those reading the comic but his teammates.
Best known for his work with the Super Friends, Zan and his twin sister Jayna are the two people responsible for the Wonder Twins. That being said, it would be only logical for their powers to complement one another and, while they kind of do, she would be just fine without him but the same may not be able to be said the other way around. You see, she can shape-shift into animals while he… well he can just take on various forms of water. This wouldn’t be so bad if he could then propel himself in different directions, or at least do something like that, but this is not the case and it even gets worse. He can’t even go near fire because the result would be him turning into steam! What good is a superhero if their weakness is something that can be found not only all around Earth but can put people in serious danger! On top of that, his shape-shifting ability is dependent upon touching power rings with his twin sister. So, unless it’s a very hot day and you want to play in a puddle he’s pretty much useless. Enough said.
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