2016 has been a year of ups and downs. We saw the rise of the portable Game Boy device; the election of President Eleanor Roosevelt; the outing of Milli Vanilli as bogus artists. Wait, why did we say bogus… what year is this?
Oh, right, 2016. The year of the Trump and underreported global atrocities, and more memes, memes, memes. Probably a lot of stuff happened this year, but we were too busy laughing at memes to ever really think about it. We also spent a considerable amount of time ogling over hot babes, as they walked their hot walks and talked their hot talks. It’s comforting to know that, no matter what happens during any given year, there will always be a hottie there to cheer you up. Not that we need any cheering up, of course. We love memes just as much as we love not knowing what’s really going on in the world. And we love ogling at famous hot babes as much as we love anything else. These women, with their bodies and facial things attached to their bodies, comfort us when no one else does.
So we decided to pay a little tribute to them. A wee little token of our appreciation.
15. Emma Stone
Emma Stone first captured the eyes and hearts of audiences worldwide with her role in Superbad back in 2007. Though more known for her acting chops than her aesthetic allure back in those days, Stone has blossomed into one of the most beautiful women in the world. These days, any footage of Stone shows her looking absolutely stunning, with the face and body to take over the mind of any man or woman on the planet. She has not only retained her acting skills over the years, but has honed them quite well. With her recent roles in films like Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) and The Help, Emma has given performances that have put her under the eye of visionary directors worldwide, and she can essentially land any film she pleases. We along with everyone else in the world have our eye on Stone, for her insane beauty as well as her promise as a young actress.
14. Kaley Cuoco
Having played the classic girl next door in the CBS comedy series The Big Bang Theory where she portrays the character of Penny, Kaley Cuoco is on any self-respecting gawker’s babe list. Cuoco’s general looks and demeanour give off the impression of the classic California girl, easy-going, super modern, and sizzling hot. Part of this is no coincidence, as she was born in Camarillo, California. There’s a twist to her aesthetic that’s not purely Californian or even American, and that stems from the Italian descension of Kaley Cuoco’s father, Gary Carmine Cuoco, and the German ancestry of her mother, Layne Ann (Wingate). Many will admit to the fact that this young starlet is one of the reasons (or, in fact, the only reason) that they ever even tune in to watch The Big Bang Theory at all. Frankly, we can’t really blame them. (We are one of them.)
13. Kylie Jenner
At age 19, this young American reality TV star, model, and socialite has taken over a large portion of pop culture. In looking for an image of Kylie Jenner, one need not look very far. Just turn your head to the left or right while you’re waiting at any cash line anywhere, be it at a pharmacy, grocery store, or underwater polo supply shop — you’ll likely see Kylie Jenner’s face (and probably her body) somewhere on several magazine covers. It’s not hard to understand why miss Jenner is so prevalent in society, given the legacy she inherited by her family and the smoking hot face and bod she’s rocking. She’s so young, you can be sure that Kylie will continue rocking her stuff for several years to come, to the delight of a legion of her fans. Those of us who aren’t exactly fans of her work on Keeping up with the Kardashians can at least have some fun looking at her while we wait in line to buy our bread and goggles.
12. Margot Robbie
Having portrayed Harley Quinn in this year’s blockbuster hit Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie is riding the wave of her huge influence over pop culture. We can only surmise that, going by the zeitgeist of 2016, there’s something extremely alluring to the masses about a f****d-in-the-head super villain played by a super hot Australian blonde. To our vast disappointment, Suicide Squad was a looming pile of octopus dung, and it may contribute to the total sinking of the DC cinematic universe if the upcoming films don’t step it up by several magnitudes. What we can credit the film for, however, is hiring the perfect and perfectly hot actress to play the most marketable character in the film. Margot Robbie was absolutely stunning in the most twisted of ways when she played Harley Quinn, which (along with dear Will Smith as Deadshot) is the only thing that kept our buttocks planted in the seat for the whole film. She did a good job at actually acting the character out, too, despite the horrendous script she was given. (In case you didn’t realize, we really didn’t like Suicide Squad.) We already noted that Robbie was a great actress from her role in The Wolf of Wall Street, and we look forward to see what the young starlet has to offer in upcoming roles.
11. Zoe Saldana
Zoë Saldana-Perego (born under the name of Zoë Yadira Saldaña Nazario) has always been a beauty of ethereal, almost elvish proportions. Even today, at 38 years old, her beauty can readily compete with all the 20-somethings under her shadow. The actress has successfully kept her acting career going strong to this day. She’s been part of a shaky (re: atrociously received by pretty much every critic) film called Nina where she portrayed iconic American singer Nina Simone, however, bad film choices happen to every actor, and Saldana more than made up for the blunder this year with her role in Star Trek Beyond, and we have high hopes for her to keep going strong in next year’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Aside from film, Zoë Saldana acts on the stage, having been part of performances with the FACES theatre group, and she is also a dancer.
10. Emma Watson
Paris-born brit Emma Watson (actress, activist, and model) first captured our hearts back in 2001 when she portrayed the iconic character of Hermione Granger in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Being the object of a mass of pre-teen boy crushes as she played Hermione through the yearly progressions of the Harry Potter film franchise, Emma Watson is now a full-fledged woman, and all those multitudes of boy crushes have now become man crushes. Not merely a stunning beauty and extremely talented actress, Emma Watson is a great woman in every sense of the word, having been extremely active and vocal concerning women’s rights, particularly the global right to education for young girls. She delivered an iconic speech to the New York City UN Headquarters in September 2014, during which she advocated for men to start advocating for gender equality. After receiving death threats following her speech, Watson said, “If they were trying to put me off [of doing this work], it did the opposite.”
9. Nina Dobrev
If there’s one thing everyone finds as hot as anything else, it’s definitely vampires. Of course, we’d rather they don’t suck our blood and transform us into wanderers of the night, but the concept of a vampire is still cool to think about. The modern erotic obsession over vampires has definitely stemmed from Robert Pattinson portraying the vampire Edward Cullen in 2008’s Twilight film, and Nina Dobrev is successfully riding Pattinson’s coattails. We can’t exactly blame her, since Dobrev’s dark, sultry looks make for an extremely convincing (and overwhelmingly sexy) vampire. The Bulgarian-Canadian actress (born Nikolina Konstantinova Dobreva) first played the role of Mia Jones on the Canadian drama series Degrassi: The Next Generation before finding her way to her famed role of Elena Gilbert on The CW’s The Vampire Diaries. Being only 27 years old and having starred in several feature films already, we look forward to seeing more of the beautiful young actress’ portrayals on the big and small screens for years to come.
8. Nonami Takizawa
Many of us are aware of the Japanese style of animation known as anime, where, more frequently than not, the female characters are portrayed as having extremely exaggerated physical proportions. The women in these animations tend to have very large breasts, super slim waistlines, and perfectly shaped bottoms. Normally these types of body shapes are completely unrealistic and should not be expected in the women we encounter in the real world, but sometimes we see cases of real women that make us question whether they walked right out of an anime. Nonami Takizawa is certainly one of these women. At 5 ft. 1, Takizawa is petite by all measures of the French word, however within her compact frame she packs in the wacky bodily proportions of an anime character, with her large breasts, slim waist, and extremely well-sculpted behind. All of it sits underneath the most adorable face imaginable. Whether Takizawa really did come from an anime, we’ll never know.
7. Selena Gomez
A while back, Selena Gomez spent a period of time dating the famed (you can also call him infamous or even notorious) Justin Bieber, during which she was the object of a global collective jealousy stemming from all the women (and girls) in the world who wished they were in her place. Gomez and Bieber have since annulled their relationship, and both have gone their separate ways. Bieber remains the object of global affection (or distaste, or indifference, depending on who it is you’re asking) while Gomez has carved out an identity as a sex symbol in her own right. Unlike many other women who are considered the most desirable on the planet, Selena Gomez has a certain look to her that makes her seem accessible, which is a trait that people really gravitate towards. Of course, just because you’re accessible, doesn’t mean you can’t be drop-dead gorgeous, and Gomez’s beautiful face and rocking bod are more than enough to make her just that.
6. Emilia Clarke
If the impeccable style, writing, direction, and in-depth characters portrayed in the very first episode of Game of Thrones was not enough to keep viewers craving for more content, then the first frame showing Emilia Clarke would have definitely done the trick. Khaleesi, AKA Daenerys Targaryen, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons, is one of the most iconic characters in currently-running fiction. She’s also one of the absolute hottest women on screen, and that’s all thanks to the extremely fortunate genetics of Emilia Clarke. Born Emilia Isabelle Euphemia Rose Clarke, miss Clarke is a British actress who captured the eyes and hearts of the world in her portrayal of George R.R. Martin’s Stormborn conquerer. With the help of her three loyal dragons, Daenerys Targaryen kicks all assortment of tushie in the show, and she is definitely poised to do more. With only two seasons of Game of Thrones left, the show is tragically nearing a close, but we are sure we will see more of Emilia Clarke on screen in the films and TV shows to come.
5. Ronda Rousey
For some reason, there’s something inexorably sexy about a girl who can kick your ass and turn you into a human pretzel if she feels like it. Ronda Rousey is definitely that kind of girl, and on top of it, she’s a total knock out beauty. Mixed martial artist and master judoka, Rousey spent a long time dominating the female division of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. In fact, at the peak of her career, she was the number one draw in the sport, attracting more attention than any one of the male athletes in their division. Her searing winning streak came to a close in UFC 193: Rousey vs. Holm, when Holly Holm delivered Rousey her first ever loss in the UFC in front of a record-breaking crowd of 56,214 people at Etihad Stadium in Melbourne, Australia. We have total faith that Rousey will win her title back, and that she’ll probably look fabulous (re: ferocious) doing it.
4. Keeley Hazell
Keeley Hazell is a triple threat, working as an actress, model, and screenwriter. We can easily understand the model part, because with the kind of looks that Hazell has, it would seem as though it might take more effort to avoid becoming a model than to actually just become one. Keeley Hazell isn’t just an ordinary model, however; she has worked with such high-profile brands as Maxim, Loaded, and FHM, and the work she did with those companies as well as others have made her one of the world’s most recognised (and ogled) models. Aside from her artistic endeavours, Hazell has also done a lot of meaningful charitable and environmental work, backing a significant breast cancer awareness campaign for Breakthrough Breast Cancer, as well as appearing in advertising posters for PETA speaking against the killing of animals for the purpose of vanity. All of this she does while looking absolutely stunning, and we thank her for every bit of it.
3. Kate Upton
Kate Upton first rose to prominence in May 1, 2012 when a video surfaced of her dancing to the song “Cat Daddy” by The Rej3ctz. Since then, it seems as though the world has been a Kate Upton-shaded blur, and we must admit, it isn’t the hardest blur to look at. Upton was off to a promising career even before that video surfaced, being named the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Rookie of the Year following her appearance in the magazine in 2011. However, it was really after the Cat Daddy Dance that Upton’s career truly took off, as we’ve since seen her in major feature films such as Tower Heist and The Other Woman. She was also the centerpiece of a $40 million ad campaign for the mobile app Game of War: Fire Age, produced by Machine Zone. It’s not hard to understand why Machine Zone chose Upton as the face of her campaign, since it’s a face (and body) that can sell pretty much anything.
2. Ariel Winter
Known for years as the lovable Alex Dunphy in ABC’s comedy series Modern Family, Ariel Winter has recently assumed a new identity as one of the hottest babes working in Hollywood. Such a thing is known to happen when certain girls reach their 18th birthday. Aside from inciting laughter and empathy as Alex in Modern Family and stunning fans worldwide offscreen with her incredible beauty and her considerable… assets, Winter has done some notable work in video games, voicing characters in the Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy series as well as playing a voice role in Guild Wars 2. She has even earned several awards for her acting work, sharing several Screen Actors Guild Awards for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series with her fellow cast members on Modern Family, and members of the cast collectively have also won a Young Artist Award for Outstanding Young Ensemble in a TV Series. With her continuous surge in popularity, we doubt that we’ll see the last of Ariel Winter anytime soon.
1. Scarlett Johansson
What more can be said about Scarlett Johansson that hasn’t already been said? Aside from being one of the most intriguing, charismatic actors on screen, ScarJo is insanely, almost extra-terrestrially beautiful. Her alien-like gorgeousness was lampooned in a way in the very serious film Under the Skin released in 2013, in which Johansson portrayed an alien woman who arrives on Earth and seduces men in Scotland with the mysterious intent of trapping them indefinitely in her lair. It seems as though Scarlett has held a consistent seat in the top 5 of the hottest women in the world for over a decade now — starting perhaps with her role in Sofia Coppola’s 2003 film Lost in Translation, and we can’t really imagine her dipping in the rankings anytime soon. With huge upcoming films like Ghost in the Shell and Rock That Body (in which we hope Scarlett will do a lot of body rocking), we’ll have loads of great ScarJo content to feast our eyes on in the near future.