We are a society obsessed with celebrity, and that is okay, as long as we stay aware who the true heroes are. Celebrities, for most, are a distraction. Not a hero or some icon worth worshiping, but rather, a person who managed to end up with a more interesting job than most of us.
But what people need to truly realize about these super celebrities is that they are human. What that means is, they have no superpowers and are not demi-Gods. They are just regular people, like you and I, who, again, to reiterate, have much cooler and more high profile jobs than most of us. But something else people really need to understand right now is, not all celebrities are the brightest bulb in the box. Some of them grew up on movie sets and their scope of actual life is VERY limited. This can best be witnessed when following some celebrities on Twitter. Sometimes, certain celebrities just constantly spit pure gold (Will Ferrell and Betty White being two examples on the extreme ends of the spectrum), but some celebrity twitter feeds are like:
This dude did NOT just say that, right?
They say stuff so inane and irrational, a normal person would have to be crazy to tweet some of the things these celebrities have said. Here are ten of the most insane, stupid, and illogical things celebrities have tweeted over the years.
For those confused with the lead in quote about blue trees in the header: it’s from Jaden Smith, who is the king of insane tweets. But we kept him off the list because that is some low hanging fruit. Go check out his Twitter yourself for hours of enjoyment.
Another side note, take some of these with a grain of salt. We all say stupid stuff from time to time. Everyone is allowed a slip-up here and there (though some of these are just unforgivable).
10. Hulk Hogan Gets Hot Over Own Daughter’s Legs
The photo was of his daughter, Brooke, sitting on a chair. She had her legs crossed in a dress, and Hulk Hogan tweeted a shot of her legs that just said “Brooke’s Legs.” It was, to put it mildly, creepy.
Any other father posting a pic like that of their daughter would have child services over in a second, even if that daughter was an adult. But people did react rather adversely to that tweet.
Don’t ogle your own daughter, dude. That is beyond creepy.
9. Nick Cannon Goes FULL RACIST and Posts A Pic in “Whiteface”
We’re not sure if you know how racial relations work, but whiteface on a black guy is just as racist as blackface on a white guy. There is a reason people stopped doing this years ago. Well, smart people, anyway.
The good news is, he got as much of a backlash from it as he deserved. Stupid move.
8. Ryan Lochte Can’t Spell
“Rocks, paper, siccor……..”
Really, dude? REALLY? Even when the spell check on Twitter is underlining the freaking word, you still just decided to go with this? Maybe it was an inside joke with someone? Maybe it’s a place he was travelling to and he was being punny?
Or maybe, just maybe, we are giving him way too much credit and the dude just has no clue how to spell scissors? That last one seems most realistic.
7. Skrillex Goes (Semi) Racist
“I wish I was aloud to use the n word sometimes (in a non racist way of course)”
OF COURSE! But let’s address a few things. One, allowed. Aloud is when you speak out loud to someone. Right there you already fail. Now onto the N-word thing.
No, no, no, NO. JUST NO. Are you kidding me? The whitest guy ever who makes music white kids dance and take drugs to wishes he could drop the N-bomb in a non-racist way. Wow. Just wow. We have a better idea. Get someone with some social skills to check your tweets before you post them. You’re welcome.
Buh buh buh buh buh buh SCROOP BOOM WAAAAAAH. There, have some dubstep so you can feel better.
6. Mary J. Blige Tweets About Her Intelligence… and Proves Haters Right
“Why is it that people always try to understand estimate my intelligents? They should never do that!”
Wow, where do we even start? We think you mean “underestimate” and we also think you must mean “intelligence.” Thing is, how can you call people out for underestimating your intelligence when you don’t know the word “underestimate” and you don’t know how to spell “intelligence”?
You ultimately proved all of them 100% correct. Man, Mary J. Blige can sing, but I bet if you read her notebook of lyrics, it would just be terrifying – grammatically, of course.
5. Darnell Dockett Gives A Girl (and The World) His Phone Number
“(Number excluded) when game over, lets go to wing stop then King of Diamond”
OK, Darnell, that sounds like a great evening. But um, you are fully aware that you just gave out your cellphone number to the entirety of the world, right? Oh, you DIDN’T know? Well, maybe you should do a little Twitter and social media research before “hollerin’ at a girl” on Twitter.
By the way, sorry about the 22 calls that night. I was a bit drunk and it seemed like a good idea. I am the person who kept saying “SEVEN DAYS” and hanging up – just like The Ring.
4. Bill Cosby Sets Himself Up and Gets What He Deserves
“Go ahead. Meme Me!”
Yes, that is a great idea. Tell the Internet to use pics of a man who has hundreds of sexual allegations against him and make a meme out of them. There is NO WAY that can end up badly.
Oh wait, it did.
People ended up making hundreds of memes about his accusations and basically calling him out for what he truly is: a predator. You can be sure some PR people lost their jobs for approving that idea. You can also safely assume Bill Cosby wasn’t eating pudding that night, but rather, had a nice, huge slice of humble pie.
3. Kourtney Kardashian Thinking Aloud About Bug Privates
“Do ants have d****?”
Um, we have more questions than (the obvious) answer you seek. One, why are you wondering about insect members? Two, why not just actually become smarter and Google insect anatomy or the anatomy of a male ant? Three, how would a species reproduce otherwise? Four, why are you famous? Five, go away.
We realize the last one wasn’t so much a question, but rather, a universal statement felt by most of mankind. Your family scares us, and everything they say and do makes us wanna cry. So just stop. Please?
2. Jose Canseco On How Bad His Life Is
“I guess murderers and child m*******s get more chances than I do”
Wow dude. Say how you REALLY feel. Now we could tell you how he was in some legal trouble here and feeling really bad for himself, but slow down the stupid train. Most of his tweets are this dumb, to be honest. “Global warming would have saved the Titanic.” WHAT?!
Back to that original tweet, though.
No, a large percentage of murderers and abusers do not have access to Twitter, a large following of fans as well as a professional sports background because they’re dead or in jail. So, the simple fact that you’re acting like you’re more vilified than the most evil aspect of our culture tells us all that you’re not the brightest tool in the shed.
1. The Entirety of Amanda Bynes’ Tweeting History
To pick just one would be impossible. All ten could have easily been Amanda Bynes herself. We don’t want to focus too much on this because MANY people think she was suffering a drug induced mental breakdown in her tweeting period, but regardless, that doesn’t make the things she tweeted okay.
At one point, she said Barack and Michelle Obama were ugly. At another point, she asked Drake to do her. Between that and the myriad of twitter flame wars she got into with other celebrities, her Twitter account is the be-all, end-all of stupid twitter accounts, crazy or not. It’s just a shame no one loved her enough in that period to unplug her damn computer and help her.
But, to end on a good note, rumor is she has since gotten the help and is doing much better. We are too scared to check her Twitter and confirm or deny this.