Many people that make it big realize that things can be lonely at the top. What can you do when you have millions of dollars and want to enjoy life while in the company of your average-income friends? Simple, hire them. You can then be certain that you will always have a group of loyal comrades willing to follow you on your whirlwind adventures. Truth be told, many celebrities make more than enough money to support a hoard of hanger-ons, but there is a point where generosity can spill over onto foolishness.
Having a few close friends around to share in your good fortune sounds nice. Having dozens of people around to care for every aspect of your life is another matter. Many celebrities travel with dozens of retainers. These people are used to perform tasks that range from the essential to the downright ridiculous. Given unlimited funds, like most celebrities believe they have, many among us would contemplate the use of a chauffeur, a live-in maid, a personal chef, a private shopper or even, for the more spiritually inclined, a personal guru. These positions, although not necessary, are a luxury that the wealthy have used for years. Much like the nobles of the past, today’s stars expect certain aspects of their lives to be taken care of by others. The difference is that today’s stars will pay to have almost anything done for them. Some are so silly that they have to be brought to light, here are the top 10.
10) Oprah Winfrey: Bra handler
With a net worth of $2.9 billion, Oprah has created a media empire that is unparalleled. As such she deserves a little luxury, Oprah thus has a professional bra handler. When you are dealing with something has sensitive as your breasts, you should leave their care up to a professional. Since Winfrey does have fluctuations in her weight, fittings must not be easy. Her bra specialists make sure that Oprah, is comfortable and free of any back pain.
9) Nelly: Jewelry caregiver
Nelly likes his bling. When you enjoy jewelry to the extent that Nelly does, you must ensure that it is taken care of in the proper fashion. Might as well leave it up to a professional, which is what Nelly has done. Whenever Nelly travels he brings along an assistant whose job is to travel with and care for his jewelry. Now hiring a jewelry cleaner would make sense seeing as this rapper often travels with a large variety of jewels. Proof of this is when $1 million in jewelry was stolen from his hotel room at the Aladdin hotel and casino in Las Vegas back in 2003. Nelly was in town for an award show, now imagine the amount he would of travelled with if he was staying a few weeks!
8) Justin Bieber: Pizza and drink holder
Justin is another singer who seems to need people for the strangest things. When he was appearing on Saturday Night Live, Bieber showed up with a group of 20 people. Among this group there was one assistant whose job was to hold his pizza and diet coke while he was on stage. Well that is quite a surprise, most teenage males eat at such a speed that there would be no need for this type of position.
7) Mark Wahlberg: Human alarm clock
Nothing is as frustrating as waking up late. This is usually due to forgetting to set the alarm or having a problem with the alarm itself. Mark Wahlberg has avoided all these issues by hiring someone to wake him up for his appointments. What a load off of Mark’s mind knowing that his human alarm clock is waiting vigilantly to wake him at the required time. The only problem with this may be the human alarm clock’s alarm clock. If that fails the whole system breaks down.
6) Rod Stewart: Room-darkening specialists
Rod Stewart is getting older. As such he needs an afternoon nap if he is to perform on stage at his expected energy level. In order to ensure he gets his beauty sleep, Rod hires a team of room-darkening specialists. This team of professionals goes to Stewart’s room before nap time and makes sure not even the slightest sliver of light enters the room. Total darkness is the only way Rod can get any shut eye. If ever you go see Rod and his performance is tired and listless, don’t blame it on his age, blame his room darkening squad.
5) P.Diddy: Umbrella holder
P.Diddy has changed his name so often that he should have an assistant to remind him of his nom-du-jour. Although he has yet to hire this moniker monitor, he does have his share of ridiculous assistants. The most famous of which is Fonzworth Bentley. Bentley has appeared in videos for Kanye West and Outkast. Heck, Fonzworth, has even hosted his own MTV series. Not bad for a guy who started out as P. Diddy’s umbrella holder. Yep, his job was the have an umbrella ready at all times, just in case a sudden storm should creep up on the mega star, or the sun’s rays beat down too hard. One thing is certain, Bentley used his position to climb to new heights. Maybe soon he will have his own umbrella holder, only time will tell.
4) Pink: Nipple pincher
It seems like Pink often needs a little pick me up before she goes on stage. Whereas most people would opt for a coffee, a drink or something along those lines, Pink wants a good nipple squeeze. Surely there are countless people who would be willing to perform this task, but Pink has found an assistant who squeezes them properly. Faced with the potential of poorly pinched nipples, she hired the person as her official nipple squeezer. It is nice to know there is a future in nipple squeezing.
3) Ludacris: Battery changer
This rap star travels with a rather large entourage. When you travel with a large crowd, you don’t want anyone to feel left out. They must all have important tasks to perform or else they might bring down the whole group. Ludacris must have thought of this when he hired what must be the most important person in his entire entourage; his battery changer. That’s right, Ludacris no longer has to worry that the controller for his video game, or the remote for his TV is running low on power, he has a professional on hand to take care of it. Assuming that the hired hand can change all size batteries, even the nasty snap-in 9 volt variety.
2) Cee Lo Green: Sweat wiper and gum injector
Cee Lo Green has made a fortune singing in his distinctive voice. The singer shot to fame with hits like Crazy and Forget you, he increased his popularity by becoming a judge on the talent search show The Voice. It seems that this singer not only has eccentric taste in clothes, he also has some interesting positions within his entourage that show his true colors. Cee Lo hired someone to wipe the sweat from his brow and another to put a piece of gum in his mouth. It is interesting to note that it would be unlikely that the need would rise to simultaneously need a sweat wipe and a piece of gum. If things ever started going down for the singer, he can downsize and create a single position of Sweat wiper/gum injector; just a thought.
1) Mariah Carey: Fall catcher
Diva is a word with negative connotations in today’s world. When most people use Diva in a sentence it is to refer to as a spoiled woman who demands to have things her way and will do what must be done to get what she wants. The word however has a deeper meaning. It was originally used to refer to a famous female opera singer, whose voice could inspire audiences worldwide. Mariah Carey is a diva in all senses of the word. Her voice has inspired enough people to make her a wealthy woman and she now gets what she wants whenever she wants it. Mariah actually has an assistant whose only job is to walk backwards in front of her in order to catch her if she were to fall forward. I guess she is a little clumsy.
Clumsiness must not be the only affliction that the singer suffers from as she also has someone to carry around her favorite toilet paper, in case the bathroom she is visiting has unsatisfactory paper. She also has someone to hand her towels, if she gets sweaty and someone to lift her drinks to her mouth so she can drink. It’s nice to see that she has only the bare necessities covered.
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