Everyone has secrets. They are a necessity of life, and something we’ve been drawn to since childhood. Secrets start small, like sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar, but as we get older secrets get much more complicated.
Take for example the military; its entire existence is built upon secrets. Keeping secrets to protect public safety, and finding the bad guy’s secrets and sabotaging them. Dial the intensity down a notch and we have corporations. Like pharmaceutical companies all racing to patent the next wonder drug, or tech companies creating the perfect cellphone. Months and years of confidential research and development are involved. Or what about the food business? Colonel Sanders couldn’t sell one bucket of chicken if he gave away that secret recipe.
Secrets are just as essential on a personal level. For example: Who do you love? Relationships can go on for years until you finally find the right moment to express your feelings. Or this one: How many people have you slept with? That is such a personal detail that some people never tell anybody, even their best friend or spouse. We keep dozens of dumb little meaningless secrets too, like you haven’t showered in three days, or you actually did sing along to that One Direction song. And maybe you were the one who drank your roommate’s last beer.
Now imagine having all these secrets to keep track of, and then you get famous. Interviews are constant, and you may let your guard down and end up revealing something really stupid. Here’s a list of some shocking secrets that celebrities probably should have kept to themselves.
17. Hugh Jackman – Peed His Pants
Rachael Ray, the annoying but somehow cute and tolerable Food Network star had Hugh Jackman on her talk show. Now Rachael can cook a pretty good hamburger for sure, but her interviewing skills are not anything to brag about. So it is a mystery why Jackman revealed to her a very embarrassing secret. While singing onstage in an Australian production of Beauty and the Beast, the dude peed his pants. He said that the muscles you must relax to sing are the same ones you use to pee. And he had drunk a ton of water because he was trying not to get sick. So he peed, mid song, and then quickly walked off the stage without even finishing his lines.
16. Katy Perry – Keeps Locks of Celebs’ Hair
Katy Perry is hot, there’s no doubt about that. And she’s done some wild stuff, like shooting whipped cream from her bra in California Gurls. Or singing about kissing girls to blatantly contradicting her strict religious upbringing. Perry’s style is abstract, sexy and controversial, but what does it all really mean? Well, maybe she has no idea, because she doesn’t know what kind of artist she is yet. She’s done it all from gospel to grunge and wonders where to go next. Even odder, she’s admitted to keeping a lock of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus’s hair. Creepy. Maybe she sings voodoo songs too.
15. Sylvester Stallone – Starred in Adult Film
For some dudes, this is a dream come true. But for a guy who just made it big after the release of Rocky, this was a huge embarrassment. Stallone admitted that he was desperate, broke and hungry in 1970 when he starred in an adult film called The Party at Kitty and Stud’s also known as the re-titled Italian Stallion. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if the film was good. Even the adult industry can produce some watchable stuff, right? But Kitty and Stud was awful. The nonsensical dialog, the choreography, and ugh, some of those camera angles were not flattering at all.
14. Taylor Swift – Can’t Swim
She is the voice of a generation. She has so many friends in the business it’s almost disgusting, singing onstage with everyone from Beyonce to Mick Jagger. And she’s taken her music from bubblegum country to the top of the pop chart. But every superhero has a weakness. There is one embarrassingly simple survival skill that Swift cannot do. The girl can’t swim. Pathetic, right? The respect meter just hit a record low here. She blames her Midwest upbringing and the spooky plants at the lake. What, there’s no swimming pools in Pennsylvania? Come on, Taylor. You were supposed to be perfect.
13. Emily Blunt – Used to Stutter
This actress has been around for years and is just recently making a name for herself. She’s been cast as Mary Poppins in the upcoming Disney reboot and currently stars opposite Charlize Theron in the fairy tale The Huntsman: Winters War. And she proved herself to be a complete badass in Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise. But the British beauty didn’t always have such confidence. Blunt admits that before she began acting she had a terribly embarrassing stutter. Something about focusing outside herself getting into character that finally relieved her of the vocal glitch, and she hasn’t looked back since.
12. Daniel Radcliffe – Strict Childhood
There are stories throughout Hollywood that little Danny has been in and out of treatment for alcohol, and if so, you can’t blame the guy. It would be very difficult to resist certain substances after getting so rich so young, all while battling rumored heath issues. And it sounds like the poor kid had it pretty strict growing up. When Radcliffe found out he had landed the part of the lead in the colossal Harry Potter franchise, nothing happened except he got to stay up a half an hour later. His bedtime was postponed. That’s it. Talk about an embarrassing celebration.
11. Matthew McConaughey – Never Watched Movies
Alright, alright, alright. This actor couldn’t have been cooler with his famous line, “I get older and they stay the same age.” He killed it in Dazed and Confused, but then did a bunch of crappy rom-coms, maybe because he didn’t know what a good film looked like. McConaughey embarrassingly admitted that he had only seen 2 movies by the time he was 18 years old. Growing up, he wasn’t allowed to watch TV until after dark. He’s also admitted to still playing conga drums naked even after being arrested for it in 1999. Despite the setbacks, his career finally made a solid comeback, and he struck Oscar gold in Dallas Buyers Club.
10. Kate Upton – Wardrobe Malfunctions
Kate Upton has the curves that are so round that she was dissed by Victoria’s Secret for looking cheap. But most guys don’t mind her one bit. Her photo shoots are legendary and she was the first swimsuit model since Tyra Banks to be featured on the Sports Illustrated cover for two consecutive years. But those curves sometimes get her into trouble. She embarrassingly admitted that she was once kicked off the Santa Monica Pier due to a wardrobe malfunction. She was spinning around on a carnival ride when the twins flopped out and gained so much attention that it caused a scene. In other embarrassing news, her sexy nun bikini scenes were altered in The Three Stooges because they were too racy.
9. Leighton Meester – Prison Baby
The TV show Gossip Girl launched Blake Lively and Meester’s careers from two very different places. Blake was living the Hollywood life from day one. Her parents were acting coaches and her siblings are also in show business. In stark contrast, Leighton was born in prison. Meester’s mother was incarcerated for smuggling pounds of weed out of Jamaica with Leighton’s father and aunt. But instead of the obvious embarrassment, Leighton spun her storied past with pride of overcoming diversity. Fortunately history did not repeat itself. Meester recently had a baby girl with Adam Brody, in a hospital that was not associated with any prisons.
8. Jerry Springer – Likes Massage Parlors
Long before he had the most outrageous talk show ever. Before the white trash came out of the woodwork to air their dirty laundry on national TV. Before the fights broke out so often that even Steve Wilcos the security guard got his own spin-off talk show. Before the crowds chanted, “Jerry! Jerry!” Long before he smutted up television forever, Jerry was an outstanding citizen. He was an elected member of the Cincinatti, OH, city council. But then he had to resign due to controversy. He admitted to receiving a happy ending at a massage parlor. But voters liked his honesty. A few years later Springer was elected as Cincinnati mayor.
7. Megan Fox – Doesn’t Flush
Hate to break it to you, but there is no such thing as the perfect woman. Take Megan Fox for example. She’s the right height, slender, has a gorgeous face, nice rack, sexy voice, but she has some major issues, and she doesn’t mind telling everybody about them. This girl definitely cannot keep a secret. She admitted to some super gross stuff, even taking dumps at other people’s houses and then not flushing the toilet. Maybe she didn’t want to touch the handle, because she is also a self-proclaimed germaphobe. But a real germophobe would have flushed three times to get that bacteria as far away as possible. This girl is just kind of nuts. Hot, but nuts.
6. Jack Nicholson – Family Issues
Everybody has a skeleton in the family closet. There’s an uncle that got arrested or stuck in some kind of situation that nobody wants to admit. But what if the family members themselves have an identity that you never realized. In the case of Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson, his family is about as messed up as it gets. His parents were actually his grandparents, and his sister was actually his mom. When the secret was revealed, Jack was beyond embarrassed and said he was totally shocked. He didn’t find out until he was 37 years old, and his mom had sadly passed away without ever telling him. Jack learned the secret from a reporter, and then confirmed it with his aunt.
5. Emma Stone – Computer Nerd
The scholastic past of major movie stars is always kind of a surprise. Who was good in school, and who skipped class, you just never know. But Emma Stone admitted to being quite a computer nerd. She has bragged about how she got her parents to move to Hollywood to support her career. First she made an elementary school presentation on a poster board. Then when she got older she presented her case to her parents again, this time using Power Point. Well if there’s one thing true about a nerd, it’s that they’re smart. Stone knew what she was doing and the effort paid off big time.
4. Christina Aguilera – Doesn’t Speak Spanish
Christina is currently coaching on The Voice, but hasn’t won a season yet. Surely she could win if the show was judged on vocal Olympics, like hitting 15 notes at the end of a line, instead of holding just one. Her style is certainly unique and she has tons of fans around the world. Back in 2000, Christina even released an album entirely in Spanish. And why not? She has a Hispanic name and seems to relate to Latinos. The embarrassing part is, she spoke absolutely zero Spanish. She sang her album phonetically and hadn’t yet learned many words besides hola. She had to admit her language problem in a live interview when her earpiece translator malfunctioned. Xtina can speak the language better now but is not fluent.
3. Nicole Kidman – Afraid Of Butterflies
We are all afraid of something. Whether it’s claustrophobia or fear of heights, there’s something out there that makes us uncomfortable. You might even admit your fears to someone in hopes that they can relate. But come on, Nicole Kidman. She said that she’s afraid of butterflies. Butterflies, really? Those beautiful little fluttering insects must be one of the most unscary things in the world. Scarlett Johansson has admitted to her fear of birds, which seems logical in comparison. At least birds can inflict some pain with those sharp beaks. But butterflies? Come on. Kidman is probably afraid of cake and bubbles too.
2. Kate Winslet – Grooming Down Below
First of all, this woman is gorgeous and totally awesome. One of the coolest things about Kate Winslet is that if you go to one of her movies, you might be bored for a bit, but you are pretty much guaranteed to see her take her clothes off. It might even be a clause in her contract or something. She must really enjoy revealing herself. And she knows if she’s going to be showing off her junk, then it better be clean. Winslet admitted to being an avid waxer down below. So avid that hair wouldn’t grow back well enough for a nude scene in The Reader. She had to wear a below-the-belt hairpiece, known as a merkin.
1. Brad Pitt – Skipping Showers
It’s no surprise that Brad Pitt is on this list. He must have tons of embarrassing details in his life after marrying Angelina Jolie. Angie used to make-out with her brother and wear a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck. Thornton admitted that he and his famous ex even wore each other’s underwear when they were apart. So how can Brad top that? Well for one, he admitted to wearing the El Pollo Loco crazy chicken outfit before his acting career took off. Plus he admitted that it’s okay to skip showering, as long as you use a baby wipe to clean your armpits now and then. Yuck.
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