In today’s society, relationships are more unstable than they were years ago. There are so many issues to deal with such as lying to your partner, a lack of loyalty and having different intentions. In order to have a successful companionship, it takes a lot of work and requires a lot of patience. There needs to be a lot of give and take on both sides, meaning you both need to be on the same page with one another. The reason many relationships fail is because there is a lack of communication between partners, especially if one is not willing to compromise.
Nowadays, instead of working on the relationship and building a better, stronger bond, some couples will take the easy way out and simply break up because they don’t want to put in the effort. They do not want to sit down and calmly discuss the issue, so they would rather give up than cooperate with their partner. Most relationships don’t work out because couples go into the partnership with high expectations and aren’t thinking clearly; therefore, they set themselves up for a disaster. If you have a dysfunctional relationship, this article may help you realize what you’re doing wrong. Here are 15 things that you shouldn’t do in a healthy relationship.
15. Don’t Use The Relationship To Fill A Void
You may be in a relationship, but are you in it for the right intentions? This has been a question that I’m sure multiple couples deal with on the daily, but the answer is quite simple – either you’re very in love with your partner, or you’re simply just stringing them along. This is unfortunately very common in the way most couples think. If you feel as though you’re lonely, you will get into a relationship and try and fill that emptiness inside you with a companion. But, before you get into a relationship you need to learn to fully love yourself and be completely secured with who you are as a person. The majority of couples stay in a relationship because they don’t know how to be alone, and that scares them. If you want to keep a healthy relationship going honesty is the best policy. If you’re in a relationship just to say that you’re with someone to not feel alone, then you’re in it for all the wrong reasons.
14. Don’t Hold Any Grudges
In relationships, you’re bound to get mad and fight with your significant other, but one thing we all need to learn is if we want to keep a healthy partnership, then we need to stop holding grudges. Whether it’s because you’re arguing over a pair of shoes, or getting mad at your companion because they told your forbidden secret to someone you know, let it go. When you keep holding on to grudges, it will not only ruin your relationship but will destroy you. You will see your demeanor change toward your partner and it can cause a lot of tension, as well a lot of arguing. Communication is important. When you feel your partner is acting a certain way or is very cold towards you, talk it out.
13. Don’t Take Your Relationship For Granted
If you want to keep a healthy partnership, do not take your relationship for granted, it’s as simple as that. You want to appreciate and love your partner unconditionally, not treat them in a careless or indifferent manner. You should be grateful that you have an amazing partner who loves and cares for you, so why would you hurt the person you love? I understand that we’re all busy with our crazy schedules, but it’s nice once in a while to come home and have your significant other cook you a romantic meal or give you a massage that you’ve been wanting. When your partner is being taken for granted they can feel taken advantage of, resentful and frustrated and that’s the last thing you want. A solution for a relationship being taken for granted would be to express how much you mean to your partner. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
12. Don’t Leave During Tough Times
We all have our ups and downs in a relationship, but when the going gets tough, you should never leave. If someone does that in a relationship it shows not only immaturity on their part but also showing that they lack communication. When you’re in a fight the last thing you want is your significant other to walk out of the house and never come back to the relationship. In life, things get hard. You need to learn, grow and be mature in a relationship. Remember, you’re in this for the long haul and if your partner wants to go to the nearest bar or slam the door and walk out, then that means they aren’t ready for commitment. If you’re wondering, why do so many healthy relationships succeed? The answer is simple, it’s because they communicate when they have something on their mind or they say how they’re feeling. But, most importantly they never let it get to the point of destruction that will break them up.
11. Don’t Get Too Comfortable
Nowadays, many couples are way too comfortable with one another. From their bathroom etiquette to popping pimples on their partners back, one thing they all have in common is they are too relaxed with their partner so therefore, nothing disturbs them. When you’re in a relationship and you love and trust your partner, you will show them every side of you; good and bad. But, when you’re too comfortable with your partner, you lose that sense of mystery, that curiosity that caught your eye in the first place. Getting too comfortable can actually cause a lot of resentment in a relationship as well as crossing the line. But, just because you are in a relationship that doesn’t mean that you need to stop grooming or taking care of yourself. You always want to make sure that your partner is attracted to you in every way, shape and form.
10. Don’t Expect Relationships To Be Easy
Relationships take work. We see it nowadays in today’s society how quickly some relationships fizzle out, along with many other reasons, one in particular is because of the lack of effort your partner puts into the relationship. Being in a healthy relationship is all about compromise, trust, communication and above all it takes a lot of work. You will never see a couple who is in a long-term relationship that will tell you that their relationship is “perfect” but, there is no such thing as perfection. Some relationships are not taken seriously at all because they are either forced upon or people get into relationships to fill that void that they’re missing. For example; long distance can either make or break your relationship, if you don’t communicate with your partner, you might as well say goodbye to them. You need to show them how much you care for them and most importantly be there for them when they need you the most.
9. Don’t Rant To Other People About Your Partner
Not everyone needs to know your business. In some relationships, it can be extremely toxic to tell your friends or peers around you anything when it comes to voicing your opinion on your relationship. It can lead to a break up then you will wonder why everyone got involved in your business, but by then it will be too late. If you want to keep a healthy relationship, stay quiet and low-key, don’t blab to your girlfriends about the fight you and your boyfriend had the other night, just keep everything to yourself and work it out with your partner. Your partner is there for you when you need them, don’t trash their name just because you are upset in that moment, that shows immaturity and it is a huge turn-off to your partner. You need to think before you speak because ranting to others about your partner can be detrimental to your relationship.
8. Don’t Post Negative Things About Your Partner Online
We live in a tech savvy world. In today’s society, social media can be a huge negative impact on your connection. For example: when it comes to Twitter, you can see if your partner is tweeting about you and your relationship. You see what they’re tweeting so you confront them about the tweet that they had sent out. When you’re in a fight with your partner the last thing you need to do is bash them on social media, calling them every name in the book. It makes you look like a juvenile who can’t confront their own partner. When you’re in a healthy relationship you know not to post on social media about your partner, instead you confront them face to face, like a mature person. If you say something hurtful about your partner on the internet, it shows what kind of person you are, and that is an insecure being that is childish, vindictive, and vengeful. Remember, it’s always better to take the high road.
7. Don’t Bring Up The Past
We have all heard the expression “keep the past in the past.” There is one thing you should never bring up in a current relationship – your ex. No one wants to be with someone who is going to talk about their past relationship all the time; it’s aggravating, frustrating and a huge turn off to most people. Your relationship ended long ago, so why bother bringing it up? The reason some couples get into multiple fights is because while arguing they think it’s okay to bring up their past and talk about their ex. If you want a long-lasting partnership, think before you bring up your past. If you are in love with your partner, there is no need to hurt them or compare them to your past relationships; it’s just going to bring up negative emotions and you may say some things that you will regret later on.
6. Don’t Snoop On Your Partner
One thing you shouldn’t do in a relationship is invade your partner’s privacy. If your partner has to snoop, then there is a huge problem in the relationship. It means you don’t trust your partner enough to be alone. A relationship without trust is completely worthless; if you’re curious about something, just ask your significant other; it’s pretty simple. For example, checking your partner’s cell phone and see whom they are calling or messaging is a huge invasion of privacy. Even if you snoop on your partner, you’re probably not going to find what you’re looking for, so why bother? You’re just opening a can of worms in terms of trust and intimacy issues, and you are disrespecting your partner’s right to have any privacy. They will look at you very differently and that can damage your relationship and future together.
5. Don’t Keep Secrets From Your Partner
If you want to keep a healthy relationship, do not keep secrets from your partner. By keeping the hidden information you are not only deceiving your partner, but lying to them. This creates a lot of stress and tension in your relationship and can possibly lead to a breakup. It’s hard to feel emotionally connected to someone when you catch them in a lie or find out that they’ve kept a hidden secret from you. Your trust is very sacred and once it’s broken, it’s very hard to regain your belief in your partner. When your companion keeps a secret from you, you not only feel hurt but you also feel betrayed by the person you love. If you’re going to be untruthful to your partner it shows the lack of character and insecurity you have within the relationship. Therefore, be open and honest with them, they will appreciate it more than you know.
4. Don’t Lose Your Sense Of Self
When it comes to being in a relationship you should never lose your sense of independence. You need to learn to be self-reliant and not cling on to your partner for every little thing. Just because you’re in a relationship that doesn’t mean you can’t be your own person and have different interests than your partner. If you start neglecting your favorite hobbies, stop hanging out with your friends and aren’t pursuing your dreams and goals, then you will lose sight of who you are as a person. It is never too late to claim your independence back. If you want to have a healthy relationship with someone, start taking care of yourself first and foremost. You also need to make sure to have time apart from your partner because you don’t want to be suffocated by each other. Remember, when you learn to love and accept yourself, you won’t risk losing who you are in the relationship.
3. Don’t Ignore Your Partner When They’re Speaking To You
One thing that can drive someone crazy is when they feel they are being ignored. When someone you love ignores you, it shows they have no respect for the relationship. If you want to be in a healthy relationship then you should never ignore your partner or spouse. Not only is ignoring your partner rude and disrespectful, it also shows immaturity and a lack of communication. Your relationship will be one-sided and it will cause your partner to get upset, aggravated and it’s a lose-lose situation when both parties don’t cooperate. When you’re speaking to your partner and they keep looking away from you or they look preoccupied, their body language will reveal all. You will see a slight difference in the way you are being treated. The solution to fix this problem would be to show them how much the relationship means to you and that show them that you’ve done a lot of thinking and matured.
2. Don’t Flirt With Others
This is a huge turn off in a relationship. Don’t flirt with the opposite sex especially if you know it’s going to aggravate your partner. First off, if your partner loves you like they say they do then they will never treat you like a second option. When you are in a relationship, there needs to be a level or respect, and flirting with the opposite sex is a slap in the face, as well as it’s very disrespectful to your partner. For example, you’re at a party without your girlfriend and you see someone attractive walk by, you check her out, flirt with her and when your girlfriend finds out, then you’re sleeping in the doghouse. If you want to be in a happy and long-term relationship do not cross the line because then your partner will lose all trust in you and you will probably end up fighting and break up.
1. Don’t Be Controlling Or Possessive With Your Partner
If you are controlling or possessive then you will never have a healthy relationship. If you want to be the type of person that controls and tells your partner what to do all the time that means you are an aggressive person who has multiple anger issues. No one wants to be in a relationship where they feel trapped. If you’re going to be with someone who manipulates your every move and is clinging on to you every second – that’s a red flag. You will never see a healthy relationship have this problem. In fact, you need to judge for yourself and say “do I see a future with them?” If you feel that you’re in a controlling relationship, then you need to be very open and honest with your partner and tell them how you are feeling. Remember, you are in control of your life; if you know your own worth then you should never settle for less than what you deserve.