The creative human spirit responsible for dreaming up superheroes can also imagine what it would be like to have sex with them. Sure, superheroes don’t actually exist, but the collective sex drive of humanity, and the many ways carnal desires manifest, have led almost anyone familiar with superheroes to fantasize about what it would be like to get it on with a fictional, larger-than-life character.
Obviously, comic books tend to be drawn in a way that supersexualizes many heroes with outrageous body proportions, ripped physiques and absurdly handsome and beautiful faces. As a whole, humans are relatively shallow, tending to value looks over non-superficial concerns such as personality and sexual compatibility. But that’s partially what makes sex with superheroes such an alluring concept: it’s all about the powers.
Most of the women and men on this list fall into comic book stereotypes of good looks, but what separates these superheroes from their counterparts are rare superpowers that would come in handy in the pursuit of fantastic sexual desires.
Yes, Rogue is a gorgeous superhero, but would you want to risk losing it all? Superman may be ripped and practically invincible but what are the true consequences of fornicating with this Kryptonian? These and other deep questions were seriously considered in compiling the following definitive rundown of the best superheroes with which to get down and dirty.
One of the more versatile superhero lovers would be Mystique, who has the power to shapeshift into many different forms. Like many of the female X-men characters, quite a few of the shapes that she takes suggest that she’s a super-fit woman with supermodel looks and a bad girl attitude, further adding to her allure.
While some may consider the ability to take different forms a shallow form of sexual superpower, there are very few humans who would be able to resist Mystique’s mimicry of any and all of the most beautiful people in the world. Based on this ability alone, it would be nearly impossible for Mystique’s lovers to become visually bored in the bedroom.
14. The Flash
At first glance, a slew of very obvious jokes disqualify The Flash as any type of sexual superhero based on his superpower of being very… quick. However, assuming that he wouldn’t be a one-second man, The Flash possesses super stamina, precision and super speed, all of which can be utilized to achieve superior sexual satisfaction.
He would be able to cycle through a significant variety of positions and techniques with perfect accuracy, applying the right amount of speed and pressure without ever tiring.
His super speed would also be put to good use after coitus, as it would be faster for him to run and get a sandwich than it would be to make one.
The character of Storm has always been drawn in such a way as to attract the many male comic book aficionados who consider themselves her biggest fans. But when Halle Berry was picked to play Storm in Bryan Singer’s first rendition of The X-Men, the actress lifted the character into a new stratosphere of sexy.
Storm’s special powers enable her partners to join the mile high club without being escorted off a commercial plane in handcuffs. Another underrated aspect of Storm’s superpowers would be her ability to control clouds and precipitation, creating the perfect atmosphere for the mood, whether the situation calls for making love in the eye of a hurricane or in the middle of a series of lightning strikes.
In many of the latest X-Men movies, Wolverine is portrayed by Hugh Jackson, who bulked up to play the role of this surly superhero. The comic book version of Wolverine never had the sex appeal of the Australian triple threat, who is equally likely to sing, dance and flex his way into the hearts of the audience.
His brooding, explosive demeanor suggests that he would make full use of his quick healing and regeneration superpower, which would likely allow him to endure the whims of even the most thirsty of lovers.
Whenever he experiences la petite mort, as the French call it, Wolverine’s refractory period would be next to nothing, letting him return immediately into any erotic fray.
11. Dr. Manhattan
The Watchmen features one of the most powerful superheroes ever created, possessing the power to control pretty much everything, including much of space, time and matter. Tragically, similar to many super-genius heroes, the one topic he has difficulty understanding is the human heart.
That probably won’t matter much to a potential partner, however, because his superpowers would make him one of the most versatile lovers in the universe. The Watchmen comic books feature a scene where Dr. Manhattan creates multiple versions of himself to satiate the carnal desires of Silk Spectre, not realizing that, without consent or even a hint, what he was doing was actually pretty damn creepy.
Some people have very specific sexual quirks and fetishes that drive them completely wild, completely eclipsing other desires and forms of sexual expression. Sure, other quirks and fetishes may be fun, but they don’t really cut it. For enthusiasts of bondage, in particular the Japanese art of shibari, Spider-Man would be the ultimate superhero sexual partner.
Peter Parker’s mastery of web slinging would make it incredibly easy for him to dominate his partners through various bondage techniques. Of course, the fact that Spider-Man has superhuman strength and the ability to hang upside down and off the side of buildings would make for some adventurous and freaky carnal experiences.
9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Joss Whedon turned Buffy the Vampire Slayer into one of the most popular television shows of the late 90s and the turn of the century, also launching Sarah Michelle Gellar’s career as a television temptress into worldwide view. After the show finished, the adventures of Buffy continued in the form of a comic book.
In the comic book, readers discover that Buffy has the ability to fly while making love to Angel, which results in another superhero whose power elevates lovemaking to the mile-high club and beyond. Of course, Buffy is also gorgeous and super-strong, which also helps make her one of the best superheroes for sexy times.
8. Mr. Fantastic
Mr. Fantastic is another member of the Marvel superhero team whose superpower works well in the realm of human sexual desire. While not as versatile as other superhero lovers on this list, Mr Fantastic’s ability to twist and bend his body with ease would provide his partners with an inexhaustible reservoir of pleasure.
In addition to pulling off each and every one of the positions on the Kama Sutra with ease – even the bad ones – he can control the size and shape of all his appendages, matching his body with the needs of his doubtlessly dazzled lovers, most of whom probably prefer the ribbed sensation of the French tickler.
7. Kitty Pryde
One of the more risky superpowers to play around with in the bedroom would probably be Kitty Pryde’s boon that lets her pass through matter as she chooses. Kitty joined the X-Men after her mutant powers began to emerge during a series of headaches that eventually lead her to inadvertently discover her powers.
As long as she used her ability judiciously, the ability to phase through matter as she pleases would unlock sensuous new ways of combining two bodies into one through careful integration. Indeed, she would also likely be able to locate the most pleasurable locations on the human body, releasing carnal energy in a way that would be unusual and potentially spectacular.
6. Green Lantern
The truth is that the Green Lantern doesn’t really have a traditional superhero ability, but instead he wears a ring that gives him superpowers. While these ruminations may just be semantics, the fact is that the Green Lantern is only a superhero lover when he puts a ring on it.
When he does put that ring on, he’s granted some pretty amazing superpowers that physically protect him and probably make him smell pretty nice. The fact that he can use telekinesis through the ring allows him to construct a near endless variety of objects, including what would no doubt be the most spectacular collection of perfectly-shaped sex toys imbued with the sexiest green glow.
5. Suzy & Jon
The only superhero whose superpower actually involves sex on this list is that of Suzie and Jon, who appear in the Sex Criminals series of comics published by Image Comics. The two heroes of the book completely halt the passage of time whenever they experience an earth-shattering orgasm, letting them experience the space-time continuum in a unique manner.
This superpower allows them to spend as much time as they want basking in the afterglow or just continuing to have more sex while the world waits. Another option would be to take a break and play pranks on people stuck in time or just saunter into a few banks and make some withdrawals.
4. Mara Jade
Mara Jade is a powerful and attractive practitioner of The Force in the Star Wars universe, making herself one of the sexiest Star Wars characters in the universe. Initially, Mara Jade was sent by the Emperor to kill Luke Skywalker, but instead ended up falling in love with him, because female assassins can’t help but fall in love with their male targets.
After getting together with Skywalker, Mara Jade strengthened her abilities with The Force and became a master. Since The Force binds everything together, it can be used to enhance stimulation through telekinesis, mind-reading and subtle yet forceful psychological manipulation, making even Yoda blush through his green skin.
3. Jean Grey
The mind is one of the biggest erogenous zones of the human body, producing and interpreting all of the sexual stimulation experienced during the passionate haze of steamy encounters.
One of Jean Grey’s superpowers involves mind control and thought alteration, providing her with the ability to trigger all of the most powerful desires that a human being may experience.
Unlike Dr. Manhattan, who is mostly disconnected from the human condition, Jean Grey better understands sex and emotions, enabling her to combine her other big superpower, telekinesis, with mind control in a full-on onslaught of pleasure reserved only for her most intimate lovers.
2. Power Man
Ladies love him and men want to be him: Power Man, whose real name is Luke Cage (unrelated to Nick Cage, Hollywood superstar), gained his powers when he volunteered for a scientific experiment orchestrated by Dr. Noah Burstein while in prison.
Instead of killing Luke, as the doctor intended, the experiment empowered Luke Cage with superhuman strength and endurance, turning him into Power Man.
His strength and endurance, mixed with the washboard abs he likely developed while earning a prison body during workout sessions in the yard, make Power Man into one of the most attractive superheroes to engage with in a sexual manner.
1. Scarlet Witch
The Scarlet Witch is one of the most powerful superheroes in the Marvel universe. She once decided to get rid of all the mutants in the world simply by stating “No more mutants.” The same power to pull off this ridiculous feat allows her to recreate reality as she wishes, creating all kinds of possibilities for carnal fun and games.
Similar to Dr. Manhattan, her super powers enable her to respond to the desires of her sexual partners like few other superheroes. This includes conjuring all sorts of different scenarios ranging from romantic lovemaking vistas to hedonistic orgies that would make the Marquis De Sade look like a prude.