Thirteen years ago very few people had heard of Kate Middleton; the Berkshire lass with self-made millionaire parents, Michael and Carole, a party-hard sister called Pippa, a sometimes drunk in public brother named James, and a flamboyant millionaire uncle by the name of Gary Goldsmith. Then in 2001, Kate just happened to end up at St. Andrews University at the same time as Prince William. But wait, some have said that it was no coincidence that she rolled up to the University. It was not to study art history, but rather to bag the Prince. Up until that point, Kate had led an ordinary, if very privileged, life. Let’s face it, her parents pretty much paid her way, so much so that she has hardly worked a day in her life. Indeed, some stories said that at the time of her engagement to William, the Queen thought the girl should get a job. So reports are that Kate worked for a few months and then chucked it and went back to the old life of parties and hanging out with no particular place to go. She became “Waity Katie”, the girl doing nothing other than waiting for William to make an honest woman out of her. Meanwhile, sister Pippa partied on, sometimes discarding clothing as she went. And pictures of James… but wait, we’ll get to that. Fast forward four or five years, and we now have the thirty-something Duchess of Cambridge. She is polished, mature, a mother of two, a Queen in waiting, and a bona fide Royal. Or is she? Some say she is lazy and shirks her Royal duties. Others complain that she has blown huge sums on property renovations. And then there are those embarrassing pictures. Sometimes of Kate herself. Sometimes of Uncle Gary, or Pippa, or James.
Here are 15 pictures of Kate and her family that the Royals wish we would all forget.
15. Happy Birthday Brother James
It was April 15, 2009, and James Middleton‘s 23rd birthday. The Middleton family walked to Raffles, a very exclusive club near their London home, to celebrate. Onlookers said James was already worse for the wear on the walk. An hour and a half later, he came out for a smoke and, according to Life & Style, he was totally out of it and ended up relieving himself through a railing into a private garden. Plus, he couldn’t even manage the short walk back home and had to be ferried in a taxi. Now, the Queen’s son Prince Andrew, may have been involved in an underage sex scandal and Prince Harry caught in a naked romp in Las Vegas, but they had the sense not to make a scene in public. But, as we will see, James is in a league of his own.
14. A Trap Intended To Snare A Prince?
This is Kate, modelling lingerie in a charity show at St. Andrews University in 2002. Reportedly, William was front row center. And he must have been mightily impressed by her… ability as she strutted herself down a catwalk in two or three “outfits”. This is the hottest of the shots, with Kate and the male model in sultry, seductive mode. Another picture shows Kate strutting her stuff down a catwalk with the barest of tops and bottoms under a totally sheer black sheath. In 2011, that little number went at auction for $125,000. Stories persist that Kate, who originally was admitted to Edinburgh University, applied to St. Andrews in order to be close to the Prince. In other words, she was out to get him. She certainly kicked off with one heck of a calling card at this show.
13. Drunk In The Back Of A Cab
She was young. She was rich. She was in London. And she was “connected” to Prince William. So, she’s stumbling out of a club and getting into a cab. If you took an aerial shot of this, you would see an army of flash cameras pointed straight at the obviously worse for the wear Kate. She is clearly frustrated, but does not look capable of stringing together a coherent reason for why they should leave her alone. And the more frustrated and angry she gets, the faster they snap. Thing is that pictures like this only fueled rumors of Kate being lazy and out of control. Does it run in the family? We’ve seen James drunk in public. And coming up: Pippa, nearly naked in public. And then there’s good old uncle Gary, Kate’s mother’s brother, who is in a league of his own.
12. Meet Uncle Gary
Every family has one. And Gary Goldsmith, mom Carole Middleton’s brother and uncle to Kate, is the black sheep tabloids love. Back in 2009, he was reportedly caught offering cocaine and escort services to an undercover reporter. He made the guest list for Kate’s wedding, but was said to have not been invited to Carole’s 60th birthday bash in Mustique. As The Telegraph reported in 2013, “he’s a hoot”. The paper went on, “A lot of things have been said about Uncle G, most of them unkind. He is shaven-headed, tattooed, the ‘black sheep’ of the family”. ‘The King of Fun’, like his sister, is a self-made millionaire. Is he hiding away, afraid of getting the wrong kind of attention? No way. And, to Kate and the Middleton clan, that makes him a running, uncontrolled embarrassment. But hey, Gary, his $5,000 suits, his millions and his houses, couldn’t care less.
11. Wardrobe Malfunctions Galore
We know one thing already: Kate, even as the Duchess of Cambridge, is not into sensible underwear. So what? Well, the thing is, we could probably do a top 20 or 30 Kate Wardrobe Malfunction pictures. Even the tabloids are getting tired of it. Some say it’s no accident. See, the thing is what most royal females do is wear safe things like pencil skirts. It’s a well known fact that Royal females and celebrities often have little weights sewn around the hem of lightweight, full dresses to stop them from flying away. But not our Kate. There are countless shots of the Royal backside revealed by gusts of wind. And there are also quite a few getting out of a car in a mini-dresses that reveal more than perhaps was intended. When you’re boring the tabloids, it’s time to move on, Kate.
10. Bunny For Rampant Rabbit
Let’s get this over with. This is a 2007 launch party at a Chelsea club for a documentary called Rabbit Fever. And the “rabbit” in question is the adult s*x toy vibrator, the ‘Rampant Rabbit’. The future Queen as a bunny? Well, yes. In 2010, The Daily Mail celebrated the announcement of Kate and William’s engagement by gleefully publishing what they touted as “previously unseen” images of Bunny Kate. They also reported that she worked the room and teased the boys. As we will see, this was about the time of a very public split between William and Kate. There are a lot of “see what you’re missing?” pictures by both Kate and William that come from that time. Let’s end this by saying that Rabbit Fever is about people addicted to the s*x toy who are trying to kick their addiction. Of course, Kate says she didn’t even know what a Rampant Rabbit was…
9. Stripping Down To Party
Pippa Middleton first came into international focus as the demure maid of honor at Kate’s 2011 Royal Wedding. The real Pippa is a girl who loves, loves, loves to party. Since graduating from the University of Edinburgh, she has gone from one job to the next, written for magazines such as Vanity Fair, put out a party book that flopped, tried to break into TV and failed, and now “works” for her parents’ company, Party Pieces. She’s a girl who strips down to party. She is the kind of girl who thinks a toilet paper dress is a good idea. Let’s just say that the Middleton family and the Royals all said a huge “hooray” when Pippa announced her engagement to a hedge fund manager in July of 2016. Maybe we’ve seen an end to Pippa wrapped up in a toilet paper dress and striping down to party. Pity.
8. Those Topless Pictures
In September of 2012, French magazine Closer, promised the world Kate as you have never seen her. And boy did they deliver. Lord Linley, the Queen’s nephew, has a chateau in France that Kate and William were using for a private holiday. And in that remote spot, you can forgive Kate for expecting privacy. But one French photographer didn’t agree and shot a series of grainy, distance lens shots of Kate lounging topless in the sun. At first the UK media refused to buy the pictures. And shock, horror and threats of lawsuits followed the French magazine’s publication of the pictures. Eventually, the good old Sun and an Irish publication relented and published some of the pictures. The thing is, Kate, as a future Queen, is inevitably compared to the present Queen. And the question persists: Is she up to it?
7. James Hanging Out With A Beer
Remember the guy who relieved himself in public on his 23rd birthday? Well, it’s brother James Middleton again. This is a younger James, relaxing, with a beer and no clothes. And he’s clearly not on his own. Rumors that he was/is gay have come and gone and come again. And there’s more. Lots more. But we thought we would give the picture of James with a blow dryer aimed at his nether regions a miss. Same for the one of him in a polka dot dress. Since then, he’s grown a beard, had an on-again-off-again thing with a female TV personality, and started a cake and wine business with mixed results. With the beard, he looks totally different. Maybe that’s the point. What? That wasn’t me.
6. Have Hot Pants, Will Skate
The Daily Mail loved it and ran the story under the headline: “Portrait of a Future Queen of England”. In 2008, Kate and William were once again dating. She was the girlfriend of the Prince, her every move under scrutiny. So, she organizes a roller disco for charity (good for her) and shows up for it dressed in yellow hot pants and thigh high boots (what was she thinking?), which she soon swaps for pink roller skates. In fact, she was the most scantily dressed girl there. But it does not go smoothly and a laughing Kate takes an undignified tumble onto a very hard floor. At the time, she was dubbed both as “Waity Katie”, the girl who lived in hope of a ring, and “Lazy Katie”, the girl without a job. Not great Queen material, some thought. Nice idea about the charity thing. Maybe lose the hot pants next time.
5. The Break Up
It was 2007 and William was having a great time in the Army. Kate was having a good time in London, doing not much (other than waiting). Some reports say that Kate got fed up with waiting and that pressure was put on William by Kate and the Middleton family to put a ring on that finger. William was a 20-something prince in no particular hurry. In that respect, he was very much like his father Prince Charles, who in his day had a playboy prince kind of vibe. Whatever happened, the two split up and Kate and William entered the summer of 2007 as solo acts. So, we get things like the Bunny Kate pictures and pictures of William partying (hand on breast) with girls at clubs. Kate and William got back together, even lived together. But it was years before that ring appeared.
4. The Harry Effect
We forget that Harry was not the only wild child. William is now a balding, rather somber figure, but back in the day, he was right there alongside Harry, partying and getting all touchy-feely with the girls. The two were a partying dynamic duo. Take this picture of the pair in a pub, with Harry’s hand firmly clasping the breast of a young lovely and William, probably a lot worse for the wear, trying to chat up a girl. Did Kate worry about all this? Probably. But, let’s face it. William and Kate started dating around 2004 and by 2007, she had become poor “Waity Katie”, the girl with no prince and no job. Some thought that with Harry at his side, William would keep Katie Waity for a long time. He did.
3. The Smoking Gun And The S&M Ball
They are young, rich, and in places like London and Paris. Pippa, now dubbed a “socialite” was back in the day just a plain old party girl. The picture of her riding around in a convertible with a French guy who seemed to be brandishing a gun at all and sundry was bad enough. The toilet paper dress caused quite a stir. But tales of what went on at a lavish, rich kids only S&M ball made for fabulous tabloid headlines.There were those control dog collars, lots of leather, and stories of what went on in the wee small hours. And there was Pippa, front row center seeming to have a great time. The tabloids stopped attacking Kate for five minutes and said how sorry they felt for her, having to put up with her family’s outrageous lifestyle.
2. Meet My Sister, No My Brother
Of all the really, really stupid James Middleton pictures, the French maid, holding his crotch one must be in a league of its own. It’s pictures like this that kept the gay rumors going. Admittedly, he seems to have settled down a bit, but what kind of person would have a picture of themselves like this taken? OK, we’ll admit, a lot of drunk college guys would probably have done the same crotch thing, maybe even the French maid thing. But when you add in the ones of James in a polka dot dress, James naked, James drying his private parts, and (trust us) on and on, you come up with a picture of a guy who maybe is spoiled, rich and lacking in judgement. Whatever he is, he’s not the kind of guy Prince George will be proud of calling Uncle Jimmy, is he?
1. A Dignified Time At Wimbledon
We’ll end up with what anybody else other than Queen Elizabeth would think is a fun picture of a young, unattached girl partying. She is dancing, obviously a little drunk, and smiling. And she is Kate Middleton at a pre-Wimbledon party in 2006. Now, we can probably discount most of the tabloid stories about the Queen not being amused at Kate’s style and flamboyance. But what can’t be forgotten is that the girl has hardly worked a day in her life and is not seen as being very diligent at performing her Royal duties. She was never the party girl Pippa was. But she came pretty close. And she was “Waity Katie” and “Lazy Katie”. And she was the woman who spent millions upgrading the royal apartment she and William shared at Kensington Palace, only to up sticks and do much the same in a Norfolk mansion. She is simply not one of the more popular Royals. And may never be.