Kate Upton is everywhere and (came out of) nowhere; with major endorsement deals popping up continually and photo spreads for every major beauty mag, everybody knows her face whether or not they remember her name. She is a barrel of contradictions: A very-former athlete (equestrian) and yet, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover mainstay, eye candy with a conscience, Marilyn Monroe for the modern age with curves that have a mind of their own up top and are gym-toned everywhere else.
If you don’t know her as three-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl, you may know her from the new wave of the tried-and-true hot chick + sloppy burger Carl’s Jr. commercials, or you might know her as the only thing tolerable about those obnoxious Game Of War game previews that interrupt Words With Friends for non-paying players. Wherever you’ve seen or heard her, you most likely thought, ‘Who is this woman, where did she come from, and where can I see more of her (work) and more of her (body)?’ The answer: You can start by seeing much more of Kate Upton’s body and body of work in the following collection of images that every man must see.
15. In Studded Shorts For Beach Bunny Swimwear
Among the rising star’s many lucrative endorsement deals is an on again/off again job as a model for Chrissy Teigen‘s Beach Bunny Swimwear line. Here, Upton is modeling some denim short shorts presumably designed by the John Legend-lover and nudist Instagram darling herself; not swimwear but something we all would love to imagine Kate Upton pulling on over a wet and skimpy bikini bottom on her way off the beach. Add in the fact that her top is so thin that it looks like somebody had to Photoshop this image down to PG-13 by removing obvious breast parts and we have a winning picture.
14. 1950’s Throwback For Guess Jeans
No Guess work here for why Upton, Marilyn Monroe reincarnated, was hired for this more recent Guess Jeans ad work. Even in black-and-white and standing next to a male model, readers I am sure could take or leave, this photograph is a mesmerizing look at the powerhouse model and entrepreneur squeezed into daisy dukes and a risqué-for-the-50s tube top. If Kate Upton did somehow find herself in American Graffiti-times, how many rebels without causes do you think she would motivate to drag race or play a game of ‘chicken’ to the death. Moral of the story: Put Upton in Grease and you’ll get men to watch the reboot on Fox.
13. Wild In The Streets For Vogue UK
There is just something about a pair of skintight jeans worn with high heels that drives men to do crazy things. In fact, Kate Upton has been vocal about how crazy even married and engaged men can be around her, confessing to Elle Magazine that she felt like a home wrecker after a particularly suggestive Sports Illustrated shoot hit newsstands. There are several images from this photoshoot floating around the fashion blogosphere but this does the best to show off the former equestrian’s firmed up ass-ets.
12. For Elle, France
An ironic take on the classic sexy car wash scenario, Upton actually looks comfortable in this planned candid shot that is a down home change of pace for the sizzling actress and spokes model. Here, Kate is “dressed down” in designer All-Star Converse low tops, visibly overpriced jean shorts, a Letterman jacket, and perfectly dry t-shirt tied tight but covering more skin than carwash babes usually tend to hide. Together with her refreshingly unkempt, not so freshly died hair, this picture shows a natural, lighthearted side to the model in contrast to the sultry outfits and poses she usually shows off.
11. Beach Bunny Bridal Bikini…Bonanza?
A tongue twister for the modern age: Bridal bunnies buy bunches of boner-inducing bikinis and beachwear because beauties brag about their bodies. Chances are Teigen’s clothes are not meant for the average body to enjoy, and Chrissy Teigen’s Beach Bunny brand swimwear and clothes seem to have been designed for Kate Upton’s curves. Here we see the buxom blonde in one of Beach Bunny’s Bridal line swimsuits. These “Bridal” bikinis get their name from the fact that they boast accents like garters or, like the suit pictured here, generally draw inspiration from lingerie and nighties marketed to consummating couples and honeymooners.
10. Getting Sloppy With Carl Jr.
In 2005, the first of the now famously racy ads featuring incredibly attractive models, actresses, and social media mavens suggestively devouring Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s burgers, actually crashed CarlsJr.com as new fans flocked to the website. Paris Hilton starred in this first TV spot for the fast food chain and while Kate Upton did not crash Carl’s Jr.’s homepage like the scandalous hotel empire heiress, her flaunting both sexual and actual appetite drew upwards of 4.5 million viewers to the officially released web-version of these commercials, and allegedly drove 120k people to ‘Like’ either Hardee’s or Carl’s Jr.’s Facebook pages. Don’t bother me; I’m watching someone else eating.
9. For Skullcandy Headphones
As part of a marketing campaign for Skullcandy brand Aviation, Mixmaster, Plyr 2, and Navigator headphones, the company released two episodes of a web series called Take a Supermodel to Work and the series starred none other than Kate Upton. In addition to these webisodes, which had Miss Upton visiting professional NBA players in their practice and workout space (with the players sporting Skullcandy headphones in some scenes), this marketing campaign involved a photoshoot that produced the image above and several other incredibly sexy shots of this bombshell sporting what used to be affordable headphones before receiving the Upton bump.
8. Airplane Confidential
This is one of several photos taken of the Michigan born supermodel aboard a Sports Illustrated (SI) shoot-affiliated flight with several other SI models flying from NYC to Las Vegas in 2011. Official photographs were taken by Michael Loccisano for Getty Images but the picture provided here came from a set of unofficial shots posted to social media/blog outlets. The trail of digital breadcrumbs leads me to believe this image was originally taken and posted by a contributor at RantSports.com and from there made its way to Gag9.com and Pinterest. It is refreshing to see a supermodel posing for amateur/fan photos.
7. As The Easter Bunny On YouTube
Depending on how this article comes across on your browser, this is either a screencap or .gif of a segment of a video released through Upton’s YouTube channel; obviously it is an Easter themed celebration of all things Spring and reproductive. First thoughts: Jessica Rabbit, sexual innuendo involving rooting around in Mr McGregor’s carrot patch, “Got milk?”, an idiom involving rabbits and sexual activity. It is up for debate if this video is entirely sacrilegious or if it’s simply a homage to eggs, bunnies and boobies.
6. V Magazine Sho(o)t #1
Two images from the V Magazine shoot made this list because they range from sultry shots more appropriate for Playboy to this photograph that shows Kate Upton in an Austin Powers-era jetsetter getup. An appropriate caption for this photo might be Jackie O meets road tripping flower child. In black and white and with a scarf reminiscent of the late 1st lady’s style or 1970s stewardesses, bikini with bottlecap embellishments and what could be passport stamps or boyscout badges printed on, and that classic beehive hairdo, this image is a sexy history lesson if you look closely enough.
5. Baring It All For Esquire
For a magazine named for a title traditionally given to noblemen, gentlemen and chivalrous knights, the set of photos that came out of Kate Upton’s Esquire magazine shoot are downright raunchy. Then again, ‘esquire’ is more commonly used these days as the equivalent of the physician’s ‘M.D.’ for lawyers. The top-heavy supermodel posed for a pictorial narrative in which she took scissors to an already skimpy tank top and eventually strips down to her birthday (June 10, 1992) suit.
4. Sports Illustrated, 2013, Antarctica
As an actress, this gorgeous beach bunny has not seemed to find much mainstream success, but she must have some acting chops to stay sexy while out in sub-zero temperatures in totally uninsulated, paper thin, chain mail inspired swimwear, and fur coat that must have been torture for the model to sit on rather than wear for the duration of this part of the photoshoot. This is by far the steamiest image of the bunch taken in Antarctica for SI‘s 2013 Upton spread; anybody looking at the uncensored version of this photo might reasonably expect to see water vapor rising from the ice melting around her.
3. Posing For Complex Mag
By age thirteen, Kate Upton was a trophy-winning horseback rider who had competed as an equestrian on the U.S. national stage with her horses/partners Roanie Pony and Zipper. It should come as no surprise then that she is as comfortable and confident flaunting her assets as she is riding a horse. Here she is pictured doing both, riding or more accurately lying down on a horse, bareback, and baring it all, with R-rated body parts hidden by her horse. Balancing on a horse, whether sitting or lying down, does take skill, but doing this minus saddle or clothes while avoiding nip slips and the like, that takes talent.
2. V Magazine Sho(o)t #2
Not much to say here other than ‘How and why has Kate Upton not done a spread for Playboy; we already know she would look amazing with those bunny ears on?’ This photograph made it far up the list mostly because (1) it is technically the only image on the list of Upton in bedroom attire a.k.a. lingerie, and (2) it gets closest of all the photos to the look of a Playboy, Penthouse, or maybe even the solo shots from a Hustler spread. Somewhere in the world are a lucky cameraperson and crew who have seen what is under Upton’s hands.
1. GQ Mag Shoot
One hundred (let alone a thousand) words could not do this image justice and readers should be warned that they most likely will forget, momentarily, how to use words once they find the uncensored version of this image online. You can pretty much see all of Kate Upton’s perfectly and healthily proportioned anatomy; assuming she is symmetrical like most model specimens who get paid to model are.