Many of us want to believe that our parents were saints who only slept with one another and otherwise kept things largely asexual before we were born. As we age it becomes more and more clear that our beliefs may have been naïve, but by then we’ve become adults who’ve begun to see our folks as people just like ourselves. Of course, not everyone has the opportunity to live in that blissful ignorance as some children were born to parents who’ve made choices that are nearly impossible to ignore.
For this list, we put together a list of famous celebrities who don’t have kids yet or whose children are of a very young age. These stars have all been featured in rather risque photos in the past.
15. Lady Gaga
A singer and actress who has routinely appeared in shocking photoshoots, including somewhere she didn’t wear a thing and others where she was involved in BDSM, Gaga goes farther than most. The reason she still manages to find herself so low on our list, though, is she seems like an artist who may be ok with her antics if she ends up taking care of some kids. On the other hand, we couldn’t leave her off as she has gone far enough that any kid(s) would likely feel mortified at how freely she expressed her every whim.
14. Emily Ratajkowski
The only model we’ve included on our list, Emily’s business is her body and she clearly knows it. Known to take racy pics and put them up on her social media at a moment’s notice, she has graduated from appearing in various stages of undress to appearing in nothing for her followers. A trend with no end in sight, any kids Emily could possibly have will have to refrain from Googling their mom if they don’t want to see her body from any number of angles. What mother could possibly want that?
13. Tove Lo
A singer whose music is catchy and expressive, Tove Lo has released several popular songs in the last few years, including “Talking Body” which has become a major part of her stage show. Choosing to flash her “girls” during the latter part of the song for the thousands who attend her concerts over and over again, the images that get taken have been released for consumption to millions at home. Maybe it is just us but whenever we’ve seen clips of her doffing her top, the look in her eyes expresses a tad of resentment instead of rebellion which really makes us think she’ll especially regret the choice.
12. The Kardashians
A clan that has held onto fame far longer than most of us ever thought they could, this brood’s run at the top of the pop culture heap will come to an end eventually. As Kylie and Kendall rise to prominence and begin to overshadow their siblings, there doesn’t appear to be an heir apparent that is of an age to replace this latest generation and hopefully, their dark dynasty will end. When that day finally comes, the whole group of them, all of which use sexy images of themselves to remain relevant, will likely regret the endless array of photos of them that exist.
11. Ariel Winter
As adults, most of us have our fair share of photos from our youth that we find awfully embarrassing, in the case of this actress, though, those pics are very much up for public consumption. Known for playing a stuffy nerd on Modern Family, Ariel hasn’t appeared in the buff as of yet but by no means does that mean her photos are tame. In fact, practically every shot that has been taken of her in recent months reveals far, far more of her body than her PG show could ever handle. Prone to wearing tops with immensely plunging necklines and other, equally revealing garb, there is little doubt her future children would want her to cover up a good bit.
10. Nikki Bella
Fans of the WWE’s reality show Total Divas, will be very aware of the fact that this grappler claims to desperately want kids and although current beau John Cena doesn’t, things could easily change. Perhaps those of us who enjoy the extremely racy photos Nikki routinely posts on social media owe Mr. Cena, as there is a decent chance that she may change her image if children were being planned. Considering her man recently relented and said he was open to marriage, something he’d previously said was out of the question, there are certainly signs that Nikki may eventually get her wish and be a mom. If that happens, her kids will clearly make her regret the photos she takes today.
9. Tara Reid
An actress who once seemed like she could become one of the most popular performers of her generation, Sharknado is the only success Tara has had in several years. Although she hasn’t been able to receive a whole lot of attention for her various acting projects, that doesn’t mean that she has been ignored as she has spent years as tabloid fodder. Her most famous and embarrassing moment of the big screen came when she attended a P. Diddy birthday party and her dress strap fell, revealing her boob. Altered from plastic surgery that she would later go under the knife to attempt to fix, her misshapen nipple made the photos go viral and we’re sure she wouldn’t want her kids to see that moment in her life and pop culture.
8. Demi Lovato
We actually hope we are wrong with this one but we just can’t shake the feeling that if Demi becomes a mother, she may not be happy she took part in some of the photoshoots she’s been in as of late. Someone who has spoken publicly about struggling with self-image in the past, she has grown to embrace her body which is wonderful to see but that doesn’t mean she’d like her future kids to see her in the buff. After a photoshoot for Vanity Fair where she didn’t wear anything, eagle-eyed and pervy people on the internet used various tools to see things in greater detail than she may have bargained for. We know we’d feel mortified if our kids saw us in such great detail.
7. Kelly Brook
A former glamour model who has become an actress of sorts, including lots of film appearances where she takes her clothes off, Kelly is clearly no prude when it comes to her figure. Recently gaining more and more mainstream work, including an NBC sitcom called One Big Happy, it seems she wants to be known for more than just getting nude. If she feels that way now, we can only imagine how she may regret appearing in so many topless photos if she has kids that could find them as they mature.
6. Hope Solo
A professional soccer player who gained a great deal of fame due to her athletic career and her obvious looks, Hope was the victim of a nude photo leak that included the release of nude photos of many celebrities. Hope arguably got it the worst as her pics were harshly judged. We’re not going to go into specifics of what about her was torn apart, but we will say that the pics were quite explicit and no parent wants their kid to see that or the chorus of trolls that resulted.
5. Coco Austin
A glamour model that is mostly famous for her rather immense derriere, she gave birth to her first child in November of 2015, so we included her here as her baby is far too young to know anything. The focus of several nude and mostly nude photoshoots, her butt especially has been the subject of a seemingly endless array of photographs. We know we never want to see our parents twerking and if Coco’s kid isn’t very careful online, he will suffer that moment and on that day things will never be the same for mother and son.
We’re going to have to be careful about how to word this one. Kesha is a singer who created a down and dirty party girl image for herself from the moment she came to prominence. Seen today predominantly as a rallying call for artist’s rights movements, there was a moment in 2010 where her career was the focus of another type of scandal, the dreaded, leaked, nude photo. A rite of passage many celebs go through today, the thing that made this photo different was that her stomach had a white fluid on it. Looking dazed and holding her “girls”, the image is not one any mother wants her kids to see.
3. Lindsay Lohan
A celebrity who had a highly enviable career as an actress and pop star at one point, Lindsay is best known today for the headlines she garners, including a few for horrible acting reviews. Incredibly sought after at one point, she seems to be cycling through the various grasps at attention many celebs discover as their career wanes, nudity being big amongst them. The subject of a nude pictorial for Playboy, her highly photoshopped, Marilyn Monroe invoking, cliched results feel incredibly desperate, which is a situation nobody wants their kids to see them in.
2. Nicki Minaj
A rapper and pop star who has had an impressive career, Nicki has released a lot of hit songs in her relatively short career, yet her image still receives the lion’s share of her attention. Due in large part to extremely salacious music videos and her commitment to posting risque photos online, there is a great deal of documentation of what she is working with. Similar to the reason Coco is on this list, we’re sure Nicki wouldn’t want her kids to watch as her butt gets so much attention. The reason she beat Coco in our rankings, though, is that she has a career going that she could brag about but the fact that it is forever intertwined with her body makes that more difficult.
1. Miley Cyrus
A singer and actress who has been a star since she was a youngster, Miley gets a lot of attention today for the fact that she has said that she prefers to be “in the buff” multiple times. As a result, the majority of the photos she plays a part in today feature her privates in all of their glory. Something she is totally comfortable with today, things could easily change in the future. Looking at the example the hippies of the Woodstock era set, many people who go through a naturalistic phase as they mature but put their clothes back on once they become adults. For Miley and any children she has, there are going to be hundreds of photos to document these experimental days, most likely to their horror.