You’ve probably had a bad date or two. Perhaps you’ve even had to leave halfway through a date and for that, we do apologize. We want to do our best to help you avoid that type of disastrous situation ever again, which is why we’ve compiled a very handy list of people who you should probably not ever take out on a first date. As this list would suggest, not all celebrities are crush-worthy material. It seems like an anomaly but indeed, it is true. This list is evidence of the fact that all the money in the world can’t buy class, or, in this case, a decent personality. Keep in mind that we’ve left off some more obvious contenders, like Kanye West, Chris Brown and Donald Trump. Never date Trump.
Disclaimer: We acknowledge that none of these celebrities have personally done anything to us to warrant such a poor opinion of them. In other words, this article isn’t very favourable, so you are free to call us bitter and jealous in the comment section if you like. We think that’s fair. In our opinion, however, we are just trying to be as helpful as we possibly can. With that in mind, here are the top 15 celebrities you’d be fed up with after just one date.
15. Gwyneth Paltrow
The hoity-toity Gwyneth Paltrow has managed to secure a rather unfavourable public opinion in her decades-long career in Hollywood, even rated as “Most Hated Celebrity” in 2013. She may have been once rated the most beautiful woman in the world but many are fans – especially women. If you’ve ever watched an episode The Bachelor, you know that you never choose the one that all the other women in the house hate.
But why does everyone seem to dislike Paltrow? If you aren’t in the loop, the consensus is that she is out of touch with the everyday, average person. She isn’t exactly humble and she likes to throw around her net worth quite a lot, particularly on her lifestyle blog GOOP, where she deems $1,000+ products as “must-haves.” We don’t actually have anything against Paltrow: we have simply curated a list of celebrities who most people would deem undateable. Indeed, Paltrow would probably name-drop a fair bit on a date, which would get old really fast, and insist that you take her to the most expensive place in town. She seems like the last type of girl who would be content to just hang out.
14. Paris Hilton
Forgive us, but we can’t think of many things Paris Hilton would have to say about, well, anything. Someone once described Hilton as a “cultural Frankenstein,” which in our opinion is quite accurate. It is as if she was created in a laboratory without much personality, thought or emotion. The date would undoubtedly be a very, very boring one, which is why we don’t recommend it. It would be full of awkward silences. She’d more than likely be a little self-absorbed, too. We will say she seems like a perfectly nice girl but perhaps just a bit dull. Now, if you asked her about the brand name of her purse, that might be a different story. She is also one of the most poorly liked celebrities in the world and it would also hurt your credibility to be seen with her. She’s so 2006 and nothing about that is hot.
13. Tom Cruise
Where to begin? Perhaps with Tom Cruise’s allegiance to Scientology, which was the reason for the breakdown of his marriage to Katie Holmes, who eventually left Cruise because she feared that her own daughter may not ever speak to her again if she ever were to decide she didn’t want to be aligned with the church. The controversial topic of Scientology is probably not something to ever discuss on a first date, but it would surely come up.
But aside from Cruise’s personal beliefs that have earned him the label of “wack job,” Cruise is a bit of a bore (although, yes, he seems kind enough). After he famously proclaimed his love for Holmes and was crucified for it, he went into hiding. Now, in interviews he is very controlled, almost as if he is a robot; he nods his head and says that he loves being on set and how he gives each film his everything – blah blah blah. We’re guessing you want to go on a date with someone with a bit of a personality, not someone who merely smiles and nods their head. We’d advise cruising right on out if you ever end up on a blind date with this man. Sorry, Tom.
12. Katherine Heigl
Katherine Heigl may be loveable girl-next-door, most recognizable face of the rom-com, but she has a less-than-stellar reputation in the industry. She has been called difficult to work with and if reports are to be believed, she isn’t the nicest person to be around, earning her a spot on our list. That’s just The Ugly Truth. It should be noted that Heigl denies being difficult to work with.
In short, Heigl thinks she’s above everyone. She has spoken negatively about people she’s worked with, spoken poorly about the very movies she’s starred in (she called Knocked Up “sexist,” but that didn’t stop her from profiting from it) and refused to accept an Emmy nomination for Grey’s Anatomy because, according to her, the writing was bad. It is this holier-than-thou attitude that would be extremely off-putting. She’d be the type to have something to say about everything that you do. Who wants to feel like they are being criticized? Chances are you’d be fed up with her after the first date.
11. Lindsay Lohan
When it comes to the most hated celebrities, Lindsay Lohan has made that list, which, in our opinion, is actually a bit unwarranted. Lohan couldn’t possibly be on the same level as Ariana Grande, Bill Cosby and Kanye West, right? In any case, Lohan is a bit of a trainwreck. She doesn’t seem like she has her life together at this point – from arrests to drug abuse – it is quite possible that she might even start crying on the first date. She’d probably have one too many and things would, more than likely, get a little sloppy.
She still hasn’t gotten it together as the media only just recently reported that the police had to break down her door after the neighbours heard Lohan screaming that her boyfriend was trying to strangle her. This was just before she took to social media to call her 23-year-old millionaire finance a cheater when he didn’t come home that night. By the end of a first date with Lohan, we don’t actually think you’d be necessarily “fed up,” but rather, feeling a little bad for her.
10. Miley Cyrus
We have a feeling that there would be outcry in the comment section if we didn’t include Miley Cyrus on this list, which is why she is here. She is considered one of the most annoying celebs of our generation, landing herself on a number of unfavourable lists. We will say that Cyrus still has a bit of growing up to do. Her more scandalous behaviour seemed only generated as a means to escape her innocent Disney image, which comes off a little immature. She also seems to play up taking drugs to make her look cooler. Plus, everyone is kind of tired of that tongue. In other words, she doesn’t seem to really know herself yet and although a first date might not be absolutely terrible as it would with other contenders on this list, you’d probably have that second-hand embarrassment a time or two, which is never pleasant. Perhaps give her a few more years?
9. Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift has ever so carefully curated an image of being “the nice girl” in Hollywood – innocent even. Interestingly, unlike other celebs, she has managed to maintain this image for an entire decade, even as she moved from teenage country singer to adult pop star, something that other celebrities, such as Miley Cyrus, have been unable to do. That was until Kim Kardashian recently exposed the other, more undesirable, side of Swift.
In any case, we don’t mean to say that a first date with Swift would be bad, necessarily. Based on interviews that she’d done in the past, she seems like she would be capable of generating interesting conversation. We only mean so say that the relationship is probably at the highest point it’s ever going to get. The proof is in the pudding. Simply examine the sheer number of short-lived relationships Swift has had, a large number of which have not appeared to end amicably (Calvin Harris, John Mayer, etc). It raises the question that perhaps maybe the problem lies with her and not merely in her choice of partner.
8. Demi Lovato
No, Demi Lovato has never done anything to us to warrant such a poor opinion of her, but the girl seems to have a very grating, annoying personality. Forgive us. On the other hand, we know we are not alone in our opinion because there are countless people online asking the very question “why, exactly, is Demi Lovato so annoying?” She also throws a lot of shade at celebrities and has a long list of feuds, which makes us think she is catty, obnoxious, immature and perhaps even the jealous type. She’s the type of girl you think is your best friend but then goes behind your back and talks a lot behind other people’s backs. She is perpetually in everyone’s business – how annoying.
We tend to think that a first date could go dangerously wrong: make one wrong comment and she would not get over it. You could not relax and enjoy the date because you would be afraid of saying something that might set her off. That being said, we do recommend her Disney equivalent, Selena Gomez. She seems like a nice girl.
7. Anyone Named “Kardashian”
This entry will come as a surprise to just about anyone. After all, reality television stars don’t have the best reputation – especially the Kardashians. Some of them may be off the market, but even if they weren’t, taking anyone with the last name Kardashian on a date would, more than likely, end up as an utter disaster. Take Kim Kardashian, for example. She might be able to act like a relatively normal human being for a limited time (she may giggle a lot), but she would inevitably descend into utter self-obsession, taking selfies while you try to eat your dinner because she looks that good. Not that you disagree, but you are, however, a little embarrassed. She would then spend the rest of the night talking about herself: until she inevitably gives in to her self-obsession, spending the night talking about herself: what designer clothes she’s wearing, how she only has ten pounds left to lose the baby weight, etc, etc. Spoiler: the date does not end well.
6. Ben Affleck
Okay, so maybe Ben Affleck could do an alright Batman impression and get the date off to a good enough start. But you can be sure that the date wouldn’t end well. With Batman v Superman being one of the biggest blockbusters of the year, the topic would inevitably come up. How could it not? Affleck would then get mopey, he’d stare off into space, he would forget you were even sitting across from him. This would then proceed to send him into a tizzy about everything else in his life, about all of his failed movies, his lack of education and about being in Matt Damon’s shadow. And no one wants to be privy to someone else’s existential crisis. Especially not on a first date. Sorry, Affleck, but we think you’re a little too serious to be good first date material.
5. Justin Bieber
The Biebs. Where do we begin? When it comes to a first date, we imagine that he would be a bit whiny. You have to have a little bit of inner whiner in you if you refuse to take any more pictures with fans. And perhaps entitled and a little high-maintenance.
But what happens after the first date? Charles Darwin would certainly not consider Justin Bieber a suitable long-term mate. Bieber just doesn’t have it together – from drinking and driving to vandalism arrests, he is struggling. Plus, he proclaims to still love his ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez, and that he wants to get back together with her. No one wants to go on a date with a guy that isn’t over his ex.
But still, this isn’t even the most problematic aspect. Bieber has some pretty controversial social views about women’s bodies that are probably not going to go over well with the majority of women out there. In an interview with Rolling Stone, he once said that he doesn’t believe in abortion because “it’s like killing a baby.” We think we have said enough here.
4. Ariana Grande
In 2015, Ariana Grande, former Nickelodeon actress-turned-pop singer, was rated as the second most disliked celeb, only coming in slightly behind… Bill Cosby. From secretly licking donuts intended to be bought and purchased by actual people to denouncing America (“I hate Americans. I hate America!”) to being difficult to work with, we’re sorry Ariana Grande, but we feel your spot on this list is entirely warranted. There were even reports that Grande has been less than friendly with reporters and fans in the past, although she denies it.
Needless to say, based on the above evidence, going on a date with Ariana Grande would be fun for no one. She would likely be extremely high-maintenance, which is certainly off putting on a first date. Even if you took her to the fanciest place in town, chances are it would just not be good enough. Ariana Grande has “problem” written all over her.
3. John Mayer
John Mayer has cultivated an image of douchebaggery, to put it, well, kind of politely. Not that his reputation will stop him from sleeping with an outrageous number of women. In our opinion, however, John Mayer shouldn’t even get a first date – ever, ever again, after he exposed intimate details about his sex life with Jessica Simpson, even if it was favourable. Aren’t you aware of this cardinal rule, John Mayer? Indeed, Mayer himself agreed that he displayed a bit of bad behaviour when it came to revealing intimate details about his previous partner, saying, “I was just a jerk.” Clearly, he is not a gentleman and we are already skewed against him. Sure, he might be a good musician (the song Vultures is incredible), but he’d be the type of guy to talk about all of his ex-girlfriends on a first date and even worse, his white-supremacist p**is (his words, not ours). John Mayer, you need a time out.
2. Charlie Sheen
A man like Charlie Sheen, former failed Two and a Half Men star needs no introduction. All you need to know is that he has succeeded at making a public mockery of himself.
Even if the man is a warlock, has tiger blood and may even be like the God of desire, Adonis, a first date with this man would probably not end well. He could very well be incoherent, possibly even belligerent and be sure to cause a scene that would make you not want to ever return to the place ever, ever again. Plus, do you really want to go out on a date with someone who has to publicly deny having virtual sex with a high-tech robot? Didn’t think so. Even Sheen knows he’s not dating material, saying, “Right now I couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison with a handful of condoms… It doesn’t give me a great opening line: “Hey, I’ve got HIV – busy later?”‘ No one is winning here.
1. Cristiano Ronaldo
Does anyone actually like Cristiano Ronaldo, as you know, a person? That smug face. If we take his sportsmanship and interviews he’s done as an indication of how he would be on a first date, you can’t argue that it would be in his favour. He’d more than likely be arrogant and even a little whiny. You can be sure that he would be very interested in himself and would never show any interest in you. Would he ever pass you the bottle of wine? Who knows, he might even spend some time looking in the mirror at his perfectly styled hair, which, we do have to admit, is pretty on point. However, if you managed to even get past a first date with him, you know that the relationship would be in trouble: he’d blame you for everything. Are we just bitter people, perhaps even jealous of Ronaldo? Maybe we are.