What is it about rich kids being dumb that makes us feel so good? Yeah, envy, of course. They have what we want and we feel that we’re better suited for it, sure. That makes sense. In a backwards kind of way, seeing someone rich and famous saying something utterly asinine tells us, we can be anything we want to be. If this glorified meat sac can be a movie star, I could probably be an astronaut. Well, no, that’s not really how it works, is it? While intelligence can make you last longer, keep you more financially secure long-term and might even get you certain roles in acting, most of the people on this list don’t need intelligence to succeed. Many were born into it, and others, well, have other talents. They just need someone telling them where to go and what to do next and they’ll stay successful.
There’s another honest question we have to ask ourselves about the people on this list. Are they really as dumb as they seem? I’m sure most of us would say a stupid thing or two if a camera was on us all day. Hell, I say dumb things even when the camera’s off. It’s impossible to say what type of people we would be if we were rich. Would we use our money to better ourselves, or would we sit around all day killing brain cells? Sure, we’d all love to be rich and smart, but that’s not in the cards for many of us. For most, we can’t even have either of those things. For the members on this list, they can only have one. Here are 15 celebrities who are rich kid dumb.
15. Justin Bieber – Graduated With A 4.0 GPA?
Justin Bieber is an interesting cat, a really stupid cat, but an interesting one. The Biebs has done so many stupid things on camera, there are just too many to name. We couldn’t even list half in a straight list. From peeing in a bucket in a restaurant, to faking an injury to getting wheelchair service and skip the lines at Disney, to not knowing if he’d ever been to Australia, to engaging in political and religious conversations when he clearly doesn’t have the faintest idea what he’s going on about, Bieber has done it all. The best part is that Bieber claims to have graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, while he was touring around the world. He wears this like a badge of honor. While we would never doubt that he did all of the work himself, it is a hilarious suggestion that he did all of the work himself.
14. Naya Riviera – Bathing Tendencies Of Different Ethnicities
Naya Riviera from Glee fame, has been acting and performing since she was a little girl. It makes sense then that she never went to school to earn a basic education or learn when to close her mouth. Now there’s nothing wrong with being dumb, but when you think you’re intelligent on national TV, that can become problematic. Riviera, while guest-hosting on The View, everyone’s favorite show, suggested that only white people shower once or twice every two days. She even said that showering is “such a white person thing” to do. While this may seem like she’s got some inside information on the bathing tendencies of different ethnicities, it turns out that Riviera was basically just using her white husband and ethnic mother as her scientific study’s sample size. Now that’s science.
13. Gwyneth Paltrow – Hypocritical Statements
Most of Gwyneth Paltrow’s stupidity shines through in her pretentious attitude. That being said, for every quote about a flowering zucchini making her heart skip a beat, she’s said something to the effect of her life being harder than the average working mom. For every quote about her being more willing to smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin, she’s said something about not being raised with a silver spoon in her mouth and having to work for everything she’s ever got in life, except for her private school education, her parent’s friend Steven Spielberg giving her one of her first major roles and just generally being rich from the second she was born. It will take more than willful ignorance to get Paltrow off this list of rich kid dumb celebrities.
12. Sienna Miller – Positive Approach To Smoking…
Sienna Miller is a beautiful person, but she isn’t the brightest bulb in the batch. She’s drawn some raised eyebrows and puzzled looks with some of the things she has said in the past, but by far the strangest and stupidest was her thoughts on smoking. She said, “I love cigarettes. Love them. I think the more positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful it is,” which is a nice thought but just about as incorrect as it can get. Not only do positive approaches not do anything for the harms of smoking, but negative approaches don’t help either. Basically, smoking is bad no matter how you approach it, even if you act like the female version of the Marlboro Man.
11. Paris Hilton – Businesswoman?
There’s been a weird shift in attitudes toward Paris Hilton lately. Originally, she was considered one of the stupidest people walking around, but now that she’s famous and puts her name on all sorts of products, she’s a businesswoman? Nope. She leveraged her intense wealth to craft a follow-up fortune from TV and celebrity appearances (largely built off of her sex tape) and now she never really has to work a day in her life. Just because her grandfather shaved down her inheritance doesn’t mean she has to put her nose to the grindstone to earn a living. How many people work for her? You really think she’s in these business meetings representing the companies she owns? You think investors want to hear her speak? Nope. She’s a figurehead. They want her to remain as popular in the public eye as possible. Be visible, that’s Paris Hilton’s job. Also, try not to talk so we can play it off like you’re not as stupid as everyone thinks you are.
10. Brooke Hogan – Brooke Does NOT Know Best
You would think that the daughter of Hulk Hogan would be intelligent, but you’d be wrong. Not only is Brooke Hogan an airhead, she’s also a liar. Her show, called Brooke Knows Best, highlighted the fact that not only does she not know best, but she may not even know at all. When asked if she was a voter, Brooke responded with this gem: “I think it’s crazy that a woman is running [for president] because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?” Just a glowing role model for our youth, isn’t she?
9. Ashton Kutcher – How Do You Fire Jo Pa?
Ashton Kutcher is actually not as dumb as the characters he so often plays on TV and in film, but there was one moment that was so dumb that it has to be mentioned in this list. After the information about Jerry Sandusky and the sexual abuse scandal at Penn State was released in November of 2011, Joe Paterno, the head coach of the football team, was released from his duties. It was discovered that Paterno had information about the multiple abuses and he ignored it or hid it purposefully. When Kutcher heard about the firing, he used Twitter to voice his frustration: “How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.” After an onslaught of responses calling Kutcher the dumbo he is, he responded with some regret: “As of immediately I will stop Tweeting until I find a way to properly manage this feed. I feel awful about this error. Won’t happen again.” He would also say, “As an advocate in the fight against child sexual exploitation, I could not be more remorseful for all involved in the Penn St. case.” At least he backtracked.
8. Jessica Simpson – Slippery Teeth
She’s thought that tuna was chicken, buffalo wings were buffalo and didn’t know if “asks” was a word. Well, Jessica Simpson‘s intelligence has been discussed everywhere over the years. She’s almost always talking about indigestion and gas and her worldly knowledge is paper thin at best, but Simpson proved her stupidity most when speaking to Ellen DeGeneres. It was there that she said she doesn’t brush her teeth because she doesn’t like them feeling “slippery.” Instead, she just wipes them with her sweater and gargles some mouthwash. She said she needs a coating on them to make her feel more comfortable, and, by coating, she means plaque and gingivitis.
7. Lindsay Lohan – Messed Up Everything
Lindsay Lohan isn’t one stupid quote or one stupid action, she’s the sum total of a stupid life worth of quotes and actions. This is the girl who believed she was being wronged because she was forced to show up to court and complete her community service. This is the girl who bounced in and out of rehab like it was a paid vacation and showed no remorse for her dangerous DUIs. This is a girl who got second, third and fifth chances to stay rich and famous but couldn’t for the life of her stay out of the nightclubs. This is the girl who truly believed that her normal life was something that should be broadcasted to the world and that it had something of value to give to the public, but, the truth is, the only thing people were interested in hearing about was when she messed up. It’s a messed up world.
6. Britney Spears – Japan Is In Africa?
Britney Spears has been around for a long time in the industry but along with the millions and millions of dollars that she’s racked up, she’s also gained a reputation as being a bit of an empty shell of a person. Way back when she said, “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa,” which was hilarious, but she was just a kid. Nowadays though, is she any better? Apparently not. She’s been called a space cadet by Kid Rock and is known for doing terrible interviews. Basically any time she’s ever had to string a few sentences together, she ends up getting confused. I guess a life in the spotlight didn’t leave her much time to work on her intelligence.
5. Jaden Smith – Terrible Schooling System
At first glance, you wouldn’t think the Smith family would be a bunch of pretentious numbskulls, but it looks like they are, at least the kids are. Jaden Smith has grown up in the spotlight but, for whatever reason, he’s turned into a makeshift philosopher in recent years. Every other day this kid Tweets out something that he perceives as insightful or profound but really is just moronic and makes little to no sense. In an interview, he stated that he is reading “ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated,” which is a just little strange and nonsensical. He’s also upset with the school system, likely because he’s being home-schooled, so he Tweets out things like this: “If Everybody In The World Dropped Out Of School We Would Have A Much More Intelligent Society.”
4. Willow Smith – Stay In School
Not to be outdone by her older brother, Willow Smith takes her naivety to an entirely different level when she opens her mouth. What are your favorite books, Willow? “There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.”
Do you like school Willow? “I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, ‘Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.’ But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.”
She’s still very young, so we won’t be too much harder on her, but hopefully she learns that this kind of arrogance can only get you so far. Unfortunately for you, you will need to rely on others eventually when your trust fund runs out.
3. Tara Reid – Some Education On Sharks
If Tara Reid comes off as a complete idiot, that’s because she is a complete idiot. This woman once said that she makes “Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist,” which is confusing because it’s unclear whether it’s meant to be a compliment to herself or an insult. She also went on Discovery Channel’s “Shark After Dark” to promote her movie, Sharknado. In this shocking segment, Reid gave a speech about sharks, information that she gleaned after she “learned some education on sharks.” The entire monologue sounds like the ramblings of a confused elderly woman suffering from dementia. She gives the audience a breakdown of what whale sharks are and why they aren’t the result of a whale and a shark having sex like she was solving a complex mathematical equation.
2. Ryan Lochte – Jumping Banana
After his recent incident at the Olympics in Rio, there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Ryan Lochte has got to be one the dumbest people alive today. The guy is rich, privileged and an incredible athlete on a world class level, and what does he do? He makes an a*s of himself during the Olympics, lies about it to make himself look like a brave hero then gets caught lying in front of the world. But this is nothing new. This guy has been a fool for a long time. Here you go: “Something will pop up in my head. It could be like the weirdest thing. Like all’a sudden like I have like a jumping banana in my head. And I stop and pause. I’m like that damn jumping banana is in my head. Like, I don’t know what’s going on.”
1. Kim Kardashian – Important Life Lessons
When you’re as rich and talented as Kim Kardashian, you don’t need to learn new things like reading and speaking properly. Just pay people to do that for you. Well, sometimes Kim gets put on the spot and has to speak for herself. Her entire life can’t be scripted otherwise people would catch on. This means the odd time she’ll accidentally speak her mind is where mistakes are made, like this one: “I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that’s how I feel.” See, Kim has already learned an important life lesson. Whenever someone is going through a life-changing event, such as suffering from a life-threatening disease, compare it to your own experiences, especially if you’ve never ever wanted for anything in your precious life. Go Kim. Keep doing you.