If you’ve ever watched any movie or television show, you’ve been shown a certain stereotype about how women supposedly behave in the real world. While the portrayal of women in film and TV is progressively getting better with more interesting roles and stronger characters, Hollywood is still a long way from depicting what real women are like in the real world. In fact, a producer in Hollywood runs a Twitter account with which he shares the very predictable descriptions of female characters when they are introduced in the film.
Not only is Hollywood unable to represent women in all their glory, but it also tends to rely on the same tried and true characteristics. In some cases, it may come to wardrobe choices made over and over again. In other cases, it’s about the irrationally beautiful women who are cast in every role. Remember when Marisa Tomei played the undesirable stripped in The Wrestler? Yeah, okay. Maybe, they should have actually cast someone who isn’t stunning if they wanted us to believe that no one wanted to see her strip. While those are two more superficial issues, Hollywood also has difficulty properly depicting how a woman acts during certain milestones in her life, like pregnancy and marriage.
Unfortunately, since Hollywood is an industry that is still primarily run by men, women end up being reduced to these stereotypes time and time again. While this isn’t an issue with the same gravity as healthcare or our economy, it’s important to point out the lies that Hollywood repeats time and time again about women because, newsflash: some of us are really just are at the wedding for the open bar, not to catch the bouquet.
11. We Walk Around In Heels All Day Long
Women in movies wear heels all the time – to dinner, to dates, to work, to the freaking gym. They’re just running around Manhattan (or fleeing from dinosaurs in the jungle) in heels, no biggie. Plenty of women hate wearing heels. In fact, plenty of women hate wearing heels so much that they just don’t. Ever. You can get away with wearing a fancy flat to work or on dates or even to a wedding if it’s fancy enough. Just because Hollywood seems to enjoy punishing the women’s feet, does not mean real women do.
10. We Look Hot All The Time
Here’s a list of times when a woman doesn’t generally look her best: at the beach, at the gym, waking up, or when the world is ending. I remember watching Transformers with my boyfriend at the time, turning to him and saying, “Megan Fox’s eyelashes would not still look like that.” Honestly, if she’s running around from crazy robots, who are wreaking havoc on the world, her mascara is going to smear. And if not, where can I get some?
Also, women do not look attractive after working out. Yeah, being all sweaty is kinda hot, I guess, but are we forgetting about the fact that women usually don’t wear any makeup to the gym and their face is beet-red after a grueling spin class? We also aren’t sandy goddesses on the beach who bounce about with effortlessly wavy beach hair. Nope, that’s not a real thing. Oh, and when we wake up, hate to break it to you, but we don’t look like Victoria’s Secret Angels. I, more or less, look like Jabba the Hutt until I’ve applied my mascara.
9. Having A Baby Doesn’t Change Our Body Or Life
Don’t worry, we’ll all still look the same after giving birth to another human being. Actually, no, we won’t at all. Everything will expand and everything will be different and you know what? That’s totally okay. It’s okay that women cannot make it to Pilates four times a week after having a baby. Women are a bit busy with feeding and changing and bathing and burping their little bundles of joy. Our worlds change too. It isn’t easy to hold a high-powered job and be a mother. It’s also not easy to keep up with your social calendar, wear heels or even go to the bathroom alone after giving birth. Rachel Green’s effortless transition into motherhood while still looking like, well, Jennifer Aniston, still holding down her job, and still finding time to grab a coffee basically whenever she wants on Friends is a big, fat lie.
8. We Can Eat Burgers, Never Work Out And Have A Perfect Body
It seems like women on television have metabolisms of gold. The women on Gilmore Girls can eat and eat without gaining a pound. Carrie Bradshaw is a size two and claims that shopping is her cardio. What gives? Sure, some women are blessed by the genetic lottery but by some, I mean very, very few. Let’s start off by saying that many women will never, ever have a “perfect body” by society’s standards, no matter how much they work out and how healthy they eat. All bodies are built differently and it’s important to love whatever your version of healthy is. Now, to the women who may be able to get away with not paying attention to what they eat and still have a perfect physique, we are all jealous. They better enjoy their burgers and fries while they are young though, because once 25 hits, one’s metabolism starts to get slower and slower. In order to have a perfect body, a woman will have to work out and eat healthy at one point or another in her life, even if she has it easy while she’s younger.
7. We Can’t Be Friends With A Guy Without Falling In Love
Why can’t men and women just be friends? Cue all the romantic comedies where a woman is dating Mr. Wrong throughout the movie, only to realize that she’s been best friends with Mr. Right all along. First of all, I’m fairly certain that if two people of the opposite sex are sexually attracted to one another, they figure it out pretty quickly. It doesn’t take six years of friendship to discover. Sexual attraction can be pretty much a six-second decision. Secondly, this makes it seem like women value romantic relationships with members of the opposite sex over platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex. Plenty of women have friendships with men that they cherish, even if they aren’t going to suddenly discover that they have romantic feelings.
6. We Don’t Have Any Nightly Routines
Excuse me, but how are so many women ready to have sleepovers with their romantic interests or go on road trips and vacations at a moment’s notice? Most women would need to pack an overnight bag. On top of that, if you’re out of college and a woman, you’ve probably developed a pretty specific routine before bed that is tailored to your skin. Hollywood is saying that Kate Hudson was living that groupie life in Almost Famous but still had perfectly glowing skin? Nope, we need our scrubs, lotions, serums, moisturizers, creams, and whatever else we have to use in order to not breakout or not grow old.
5. Female Bosses Are Cold Bitches
Why are all high-powered women in film cold as ice? Sure, I loved Meryl Steep as Miranda Priestly as much as the next person, but the onslaught of bitchy female bosses is overkill. We can even go as far back as Working Girl where Sigourney Weaver was the bitchy boss. Every high-powered woman seems to be a bitter, man-eating workaholic who will crush anyone in their path.
Newsflash: not all successful women have to be success-driven robots. It’s true that women are still struggling in the workplace, seeing as we only made 79 cents for each dollar a man made in 2014. It is also true that it is hard to climb to the top if you’re a woman but that doesn’t mean you lose your humanity. Women at the top of their field are just as charismatic as the men who climb to the top. Women are also ready to nurture younger employees because they know how hard the climb can be.
4. We Forgive Anything After A Big Romantic, Gesture
Should all women blame Elaine Robinson for this one? You know Elaine Robinson, the girl in The Graduate who ends up with Dustin Hoffman‘s character, even after she finds out he had sex with her mother. Sure, he didn’t really cheat on Elaine with Mrs. Robinson but he was banging her mom nonetheless and Elaine shrugs, calls off her wedding and runs away with Ben. WTF?
It’s not just cheating that Hollywood paints as forgivable, but rather it’s being an overall douche bag. Movies and TV shows have made the bad boy desirable. They show these storylines in which guys treat women like total shit but apologize in some big, romantic way and bam, the women forgive and forget. Sorry, dudes, if you’re an asshole in any way, shape or form, you shouldn’t expect any woman to automatically forgive you. Some women don’t wait around for change. Instead, they just find someone who doesn’t need to change in the first place.
3. Pillow Fights And Cat Fights Happen
Sorry, guys, but pillow fights and catfights just don’t happen. We don’t have sexy sleepovers, during which we practice kissing each other and have a pillow fight. I know everyone likes the idea of the feathers and the boobs but it’s just not real life. Girls also rarely get into catfights with lots of slapping and hair pulling. Honestly, if girls are fighting it is mostly done by talking about each other behind one another’s back, which is much less sexy than two girls aggressively rolling around on the floor together. And, if girls are having sleepovers, we’re usually chugging wine and binge-watching something on Netflix. I understand why guys would like to think about two sexy women up on each other like that but it’s just not real life.
2. We Always Get Our Way With Our Breasts
Since when did breasts become a passport into and out of things? Women do not always get out of traffic tickets with their breasts. I mean, sometimes we have to cry too! Another unbelievable Hollywood standard is how often women can get into authorized personnel areas with their breasts. More times than not, if there is a kick-ass, empowered female detective or private investigator, she’ll simply unbutton her top button, showing just the right amount of cleavage and get the information she needs to crack the case. That is not real life. We cannot get classified documents, get out of a speeding ticket, or get into college with our boobs.
1. Stop, Drop and Roll: It’s A Wedding!
According to films, weddings are the most important event in a woman’s life. Whether it’s your wedding, your best friend’s wedding, your neighbor’s cousin’s wedding, it is a freaking wedding and, as a woman, you will go bananas over it. Planning becomes a take-no-prisoners bloodsport. If someone cannot attend the moment when you try on the dress, you’ll simply have to exile them from your life forever. Basically, every detail of this day is the most significant detail, like, ever.
On top of that, it seems that weddings are the endgame for most women. According to Hollywood, a promotion, owning a beautiful townhouse or even purchasing a new Chanel bag would be cool, but a wedding is the only thing a woman could truly want. I gotta tell ya, some real-life women would even choose the Chanel bag over the wedding. Some women don’t dream about being a bride. Some women don’t give a shit about their neighbor’s cousin’s wedding or any weddings in general. Some women really are just there for the open bar. Sorry, Hollywood.