20 years ago, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but this generation has a new problem to deal with – and it’s picture-sharing. These days, we’re all in constant contact with each other, and nearly everyone is only a text message away. Drunk or sober, it’s easy for us to get in touch with that special someone we’ve been talking to, even if they aren’t picking up the phone. It’s safe to say that can be disastrous.
The movement against unsolicited pics has been loud and growing fast, but given that 92% of single women have received one in the past five years, it seems like lots of guys still aren’t getting the message. So if you’re one of those guys that still sends pictures of his junk without asking first, then let me enlighten you. Women hate this, and you need to stop. Even if you’ve had a good reaction once, and even if you think you’ve got a great-looking member, you’ve got to face facts and respect people you’re messaging. Most women aren’t interested. In fact, it turns them off. It’s almost certainly not going to encourage her to return the favor, in case you were wondering.
So what should you do instead? Well, keep your phone away for a while when you’re drunk, but also, make more of an effort to connect with the woman you’re talking to, and you’ll definitely get a better result. Here are some ideas for pictures you can send to that girl you’ve been talking to – ones that she’ll actually want to receive.
10. Your Lunch
We all hate seeing people upload their food on Facebook or Instagram, and we all react the same when we see it – “nobody cares.” That’s true, but if you’ve been talking to someone all day and you know they’re interested in you, then there’s nothing wrong with sending over a snap of your food at lunch and telling them how good it is. It’s sharing details about your life and having a conversation, which is what she’s looking for. She wants to get to know you. That doesn’t mean send her a photograph of every meal, but once in a while, if you’re really enjoying something, then go for it.
9. Your Outfit
Not only does sending her a mirror pic of today’s outfit take the opportunity to show off, it also gives you the chance to let her know that you’re interested in her opinions and her advice – which is presumably true, even if you haven’t been asking her many questions lately. Send it off and ask her a question like, “Is this shirt look okay?” or “Decent for my interview?” And hey – it’s okay to humble-brag. She’ll notice, but if she likes you, she probably won’t care.
8. The Weather
Is it a nice day outside today, or is it too miserable to go for a run? Take a selfie and show her – and it should be a selfie, too, rather than just a shot through your window. She wants to see you. Don’t feel like you have to go all “blue steel” at the camera all the time, either. Chances are she’ll appreciate an exaggerated, personality-filled pic over a super-posed one. If she wants to check out how hot you are, she’ll look at your Facebook profile picture.
7. (Clothed) Gym Selfies
Don’t go overboard, but if you’re spending time working out, then it demonstrates that you take care of yourself. Something self-depreciating rather than braggy is likely to work best here. Don’t show off how much you can lift, as you can casually drop that into conversation later if it’s impressive. Tell her you’re exhausted, or you’re leaving leg day until tomorrow, or you’re looking forward to being back in street clothes. Again, the idea is to give her an insight into you and your life.
Don’t send one from the shower, or a post-workout photo unless you’re sure she’s into it. Anything that’s overly sexual stands a chance of making her feel uncomfortable, which of course, you absolutely don’t want to do.
6. Your Pet
Everybody loves pets. She may not love your dog as much as you do, but she’s still going to get a kick out of seeing you and your best buddy together. Don’t have a dog? Then send her a picture of that dog you’re watching in the park who’s going nuts over a stick. Barely anybody is immune to how great animals are, so you may as well start talking about them early.
5. Your Work
Whether it’s work-work, DIY art, laundry, or anything else, it’s giving her yet another insight into the way you live your life, and it shows an interest in connecting with her and talking to her about your day. It might also help to spark conversation, which can be difficult with somebody new – and there’s no shame in that. But before you work out what shared interests you have, develop private jokes and all that jazz. It also confirms that you’re a proactive and useful human being who doesn’t just slob around and play video games, which is always a bonus.
4. Careful Selfies
Once things start heating up a little and you know she’s into you, then you can start sending more sexually suggestive pictures. That’s sexually suggestive – not explicit. There’s a big difference, and it’s likely a difference she really appreciates. A picture with damp hair and a t-shirt after your shower, for example, is sexy but not sexual. That’s the line you want to strike. At this stage, if it’s something you wouldn’t post on Instagram, then don’t send it to her. And if she seems hesitant or awkward about it? Just ease off – no harm, no foul. You can trust your instincts on this; don’t keep going until she has to tell you to stop on the off-chance you’re reading it wrong.
3. Hands, Arms & Wrists
A surprising amount of women love looking at men’s forearms, hands and wrists. Even if yours aren’t built up like a weightlifter, there’s a decent chance she’ll appreciate a photo that prominently features them. Take a photo gripping your coffee cup, and pretend that’s what you’re showing her. Worth a shot, right? Not every man needs to work out or present himself a muscular, so don’t be shy in taking a pic which includes your limbs – even if you have trouble lifting heavy boxes in your spare time.
2. A Smile
Remember earlier when we talked about not giving off a “blue steel” look in your weather selfies? Yeah, it bears repeating. Just sending a picture of a nice, natural smile is likely to endear you to her – and it shows her the real you, not you from a 30 degree angle in the right lighting. When you bump into each other in real life, she’s going to recognize that. Besides, it demonstrates that you’re a chill, happy person who doesn’t need to look Instagram-perfect in every photograph you send her – and that’s definitely an impression you want to give off. The most appealing kind of confidence is laid back – not screaming at the top of your lungs.
1. Anything That’s Not On Social Media
Showing her photos that aren’t available for public consumption, even if they’re of something totally benign, shows a willingness to open up to her and talk to her, specifically. You’re not trying to grab likes or comments – you’re just having a natural conversation with her that you’re not sharing with anybody else. She’ll notice that, and she will appreciate seeing parts of your life that other people don’t necessarily have immediate access to.
It’s worth paying attention, too, to see if you’re getting pictures that she hasn’t shared anywhere else. If you are, then that’s definitely a good sign.