Tattoos are a great way for us to permanently stamp our favourite things on our bodies. Things like inspiring imagery, wise words that we don’t ever want to forget, or something really secret and personal that signifies a kinship with someone else, all make for great tattoos. Ideally, tattoos serve as a tangible representation of one piece of the puzzle that makes us who we are. Our bodies belong to us, after all, and if we decide to dedicate some of our skin to something meaningful, we should go ahead and do it.
On the other hand, tattoos can be so, so weird. Like, weird enough for us to question the entire human race. Their weirdness is accentuated when you consider that tattoos are a permanent thing. The stupidity stain on that poor soul’s body is there to stay for the rest of their lives.
Or, hopefully not. Laser tattoo removal has vastly grown as a technology in the last few years, and it seems as though it won’t stop growing in the near future. We can imagine a future where all it takes is quick zap, and all traces of regrettable tattoos are gone for good. But for now, these ten poor folks will have to live with their super duper weird tattoos.
Will Ferrell is an amazing actor. His jilted demeanour and clever insults have defined the comedy of a generation. Anchorman was arguably his career-defining role, and it remains a classic to this day. But, really, how could anyone want Ron Burgundy’s goofy, stoic face on their bodies? We understand the impulse to watch the movie over and over again — it’s really funny. But you don’t want to look really funny (in a bad way) for the rest of your life with a tattoo of the Anchorman’s face.
9. Gardener Mowing Bald Head
This tattoo, despite being somewhat clever and appropriate, is so strange. Going bald is hard enough without the omnipresence of some dude at the top of your head, perpetually mowing the hairs away. As his hairline continues to recede from the middle, the gardener will look increasingly out of place. In a few years it won’t look like he’s mowing anything at all. At least the person who got this tattoo won’t ever have to see it. It’ll give the birds something good to laugh about, though.
8. Diabolical Neck Demon
Looking to make a good, professional impression in the workplace? Is it time for you to part with the reckless rebellion of your youth, and pave your path toward a respectable adulthood? Well, we have just the right tattoo for you. As ideal for an office setting as it is for a family reunion. Seriously, this would almost be an understandable tattoo for someone who lives in the wild as part of an aboriginal tribe, but the dude clearly doesn’t.
7. Pen On The Ear
Don’t get us wrong, it’s always good to be prepared with a pen. Who knows when you’ll need to write down valuable information, such as a good reason not to get a stupid tattoo. If this dude had a pen that day, maybe he would’ve remembered the reason, and he wouldn’t have gotten this stupid tattoo. Now he’s perpetually almost ready to take down any information he comes across. Though in reality he’s not even close to ready, because that’s not a real pen. We assume he has a tattoo of a post-it on his palm.
6. Drew Has Bowling On Thursdays
Everyone’s so busy these days, it’s become a necessity for us to write all of our upcoming events down so we don’t forget. And the human body is a mostly untapped source of textual real estate. Why should our skin be occupied by plain ole’ skin when we can note our important events on it? We just pray that the tattoo artist was listening attentively, and he didn’t accidentally draw Thursdays instead of Tuesdays. That would cause Drew to miss his bowling meetings, and that would be bad.
5. McDonald’s Tramp Stamp
What’s the one thing guys always feel they’re missing when hitting it from the back? A reminder of what they’re going to eat after, of course. This tattoo effectively solves that problem. As we all know when it comes to food, there’s no better aphrodisiac than a Big Mac. And, of course, the one thing that can truly accentuate the female backside is a reminder of Big Macs. Or not. Let’s at least hope McDonald’s is paying this poor soul for walking around with that thing on her back. We’re not lovin’ it.
4. Derpface Bob Marley
Bob Marley was a legend, and nothing can ever tarnish his legacy. Aside from spreading reggae to all corners of the globe, the man was a pioneer for peace, love, and acceptance. So it’s totally understandable for someone to want to live with a permanent bodily reminder of Bob Marley and his ideals. However, what we don’t understand is why someone would want a totally derped-out version of the man as a tattoo. This monstrous image makes Bob Marley look like a derp salesman, who sells derp and derp accessories.
3. Four Eyes
Whoa! Yikes! Sorry, ma’am, we didn’t see you there. You must have seen us, though, probably twice as clearly as we saw you.
Maybe four eyes would be useful if the extra two were actually connected to the brain. But this is just a tattoo of two extra, really creepy eyes. What is the point, really? Two eyes tattooed in the back of the head would at least symbolize that you’re aware of those sneaking around behind your back, but on your cheeks they do nothing but freak literally everyone out.
2. This Dude and Your Mom
This is probably one of the riskiest tattoos on this list. Civilized people like us will simply look at it and roll our eyes at the immaturity of the person who got it. But what if that person comes into contact with a psychopath who loves their mother more than anything in the world? How would they react upon seeing this dude with a spartan helmet on, pulling the finger at the son of the woman he’s giving it to? This tattoo is not only stupid, but it’s also a little life-threatening.
1. Bieber Fever
It turns out that people with severe cases of Bieber Fever wind up with a skin deformation that looks a lot like Bieber’s complacent face. We’re kidding, this is just a dumb tattoo. Side effects of getting a dumb tattoo? Decades of regret followed by a swift death. Eventually Justin Bieber will be well into adulthood, and this dude/lady will still have this weird tattoo, forever creepily encasing him in his youth. By that time, there should be surgery advanced enough to erase this huge mistake. We belieb in the future of tattoo removal surgery. Do you belieb?