What is it with rich people misusing their money? You hear stories about millionaires casually blowing two million dollars on a sports bet. You hear about rappers wearing ten pound trap chains around their neck that are worth half a million. You hear about actors who buy dinosaur skulls for no discernible reason other than to spend money. But if any of these people had looked around, used their actual brain, and put that money into something awesome, they could not only be richer, but be national heroes.
Wait, how could they be national heroes? Easy. You’re telling us the person who funded a hoverboard and helped make it a reality for people would not be a hero? They sure would be. Hell, if the hoverboards ended up being half as fun as all our imaginations think they would be (and we’re talking about actual hoverboards, not those “segways with no handle” things everyone is driving around on right now, looking like West Coast tools), than the person who helped fund that would be worthy of a national holiday.
What is really being said here is, there is a ton of cool stuff we could have in our lives right now if just two or three of these rich folk who inhabit the world actually decide to invest in something badass and awesome. The funniest part is that all these things would be huge and end up making said investors a ton more money, so it’s win-win for all.
Here are ten things that really rich people should have already helped make a reality.
While being actually aware that these have been invented and are just waiting to hit the market, it could be said entry number ten on this list is more of an honorable mention, serving as the entry that essentially inspired the list.
Actually, a sad number of these will be coming directly from some of the ambitious aspirations of the Back to the Future series and other science fiction movies. Those films set up a generation to want self-tying shoes and flying skateboards, both of which we are getting.
So if we are getting those two, why not the following nine?
9. Killer Robots
It is safe to assume that these exist (and if we’re talking about drones we use in war, they actually do exist), but this is more about robots that we could have as our own personal bodyguards and protectors – robots that actually look like the T-800 from the Terminator series, cracking jokes between kills and such.
But many people actually don’t want to see this tech, as they think it will mark the end of mankind. We concur, but we are still on board with it. We want our own killer robot. Is that so wrong?
8. A Drug To Unleash Our True Potential
While not advocating drug use, take a moment to think about the evolution of drugs in the last 50 years. The drugs kids take currently are almost all synthesized and created by a man in a lab. So how is it that someone has not funded some kind of super pill like the drug from the movie (and now TV show) Limitless? A drug that could help humanity tap into its own potential? We’re not saying a drug that would get you messed up; quite the opposite – a drug that would make us more proficient.
And no, we don’t mean Adderall, either. That stuff already exists. We mean something unreal with no side effects that would pretty much make us all into super humans. Don’t say it couldn’t exist. There is a pill that allows half-dead, 80-year-old men to get it on. Anything is possible now.
7. Memory Wiper
While in theory, these Men In Black gadgets could cause so much harm to the world and people, there is still something inherently appealing about being able to pull out a small device that, when used, would erase the memories of all those who saw it. Granted, Bill Cosby would probably be the main investor, but still. (Eek. Too soon?)
When thinking about tech like that being applied to practical situations, the potential is without border. Forgot your homework? Just flash the teacher (with the memory wiper, you pervert) and bam, no problem. Wife or husband forgot the anniversary? Flash. What anniversary?
6. Laser Guns
There is a laser gun in almost every modern video game today. In most science fiction movies, there are laser guns. Hell, we even use lasers for science. So how is it that, in a world so obsessed with weapons, there is not a single ray blaster people can buy to protect their home from robots or zombies or zombie robots that shoot bees at you out of their mouth when they bark at you (brownie points for the three of you who got that reference)?
Wanting a laser gun is not out of the question. Getting a laser gun, though, is a very different story. Make this happen, Nicolas Cage. We need you for this!
5. Flying Cars
Come on. How is it that every single futuristic movie or show we’ve ever seen had flying cars, yet here we are and the closest we have come is self-driving cars (which still seems like an insane idea created by Skynet)?
Now in practicality, one could say “how could we have flying cars and lanes to keep cars in said lanes” which is a perfectly reasonable question to ask, but that logic takes away from the fun. The coolest part about flying cars is not thinking about lanes. Do you think Harrison Ford cared about lanes when he was hunting replicants in Blade Runner?
4. Food Hydrators
This is the one thing from Back to the Future II that no one talks about or seems to want, but this would be a remarkable invention to have. For those who do not remember the scene, there is a machine that looks like a microwave, and the McFlys put a tiny pizza into it, which in a short burst of time, becomes full sized. In the film, they call it the “food hydrator”, and the idea is, well, self explanatory.
Although we’re aware it would be seemingly impossible to do this with foods like steak and pizza (whereas it could be done with certain fruits and veggies), that makes it no less alluring.
3. Sex Bots
First thing, do not just picture passive, female sex bots that have already been shown in lots of movies (like Ex-Machina). We’re not delegating sex bots just for men. That is not cool or gender conscientious. We’re talking about a robot that looks 100% human and just kinda hangs around so you could get your freak on from time to time.
Maybe rational people reading this are thinking they would not want to have sex with a robot, but those people are no fun. Those are the same kind of people who don’t jump in puddles and refuse to ride roller coasters. Sometimes life is about stepping outside your comfort zone.
2. Dream Recorders
How this tech would work, we have no idea, but there are machines that can measure every kind of activity in the brain now. There are even machines that can detect the exact moment one falls into a state of R.E.M sleep (which is the state in which dreams become achievable). So if there’s a machine that can be aware of when we reach that state, why has someone not funded a machine that may be capable of recording such dreams (or key images and memories) from said dreams so they could be viewed again or watched closer for meaning?
Think about those days you wake up knowing you had an awesome dream, but not being able to remember the details. All you would have to do at that point is hit play on your dream recorder and you would be all set.
While he didn’t exactly replay dreams, Christopher Walken did develop a machine that recorded and played back people’s actual experiences in 1983’s Brainstorm.
Whoever wants to imply that we could not already own swords made of pure focused laser heat are the same kind of people who don’t want sex bots and are too scared of flying cars. In other words, they are people thinking inside the box. They are people scared by ambition and madness and mirth. This entry is for all the OTHER people – the people who still like to dream big (however improbable said dream might be).
Think about all the people growing up loving Star Wars who are now adults. Now imagine that all those people were nerds, meaning they have great jobs now. To assume that not one of those people isn’t rich or smart or ambitious enough to create actual lightsabers is just not realistic. In other words, these have to exist somewhere, but are just too dangerous for mass consumption.
Unfortunately, that is not acceptable. These need to be mass funded and mass distributed, then we can all sit back while mankind unintentionally wipes itself out by having half-assed, drunken lightsaber duels with their friends. Hell yes, sign us up!