What comes to mind when you think of the Olympics? One may think about the years of training required to even be apart of such a daring competition. Personally, I think the ability to bring your talent to fruition is everything that life has to offer. Today, I have created a sort of “hook up” Olympics. There is only one man in this country that has the brawn available to bring home gold. Who is this American Hero? Dan Bilzerian is a Navy veteran, millionaire and freelance Playboy. Despite some negative press… his crazy lifestyle deserves the spotlight, in my opinion. Moreover, he is one of the few male media personalities that I actually believe deserves the title of “lady’s man”. This skill is usually bashed and scorned by the judging body, but who cares. I idolize a man who has such a colorful life. So, Dan, I have a quest for you… well, more of a list. Here are ten women who I believe you should try and hook up with. These wonderful ladies are no easy task, but I think you have what it takes. As a plus, I picked girls who actually seem fun, can hold a conversation, and I’ve listed why I think so. Game on.
10. Nina Agdal
Where do I begin with Nina Agdal? At 5’9 she’s your exact height. So make sure she’s not wearing heels, man. Nina has already snagged an amazing career in modeling. You can find her on the Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions while she travels the world radiating sexual tension. Did I mention that she’s single? That’s right. She seems like the kind of girl that you need to wine and dine. I mean she’s basically Kate Upton’s replacement on the SI mantle anyway, so she deserves a good date. Nina is the first of 10 on your quest, so get ready for a marathon.
9. Mandy Moore
Let’s get in on your emotional side, Dan. You probably haven’t ever watched A Walk to Remember, but just know that Mandy acted in it and the world wept when it watched the film. She was this sensitive religious girl who ultimately would lose a battle with cancer. In reality, she’s married to the successful songwriter, Ryan Adams, so good luck. Mandy captured a generation’s sensitive side and she’ll probably capture yours, too. My tip on Mandy isn’t to treat her like a star, but to make her believe that you actually see her as a person. I’m guessing you’ll have to take her on a trip somewhere, probably Italy. Yeah, I vote Italy.
8. Natascha McElhone
Arguably, one of the most naturally beautiful women in the world. Natascha McElhone spent seven years on her life as “Karen” during the rein of the hit TV show, Californication. In her personal life she’s not only single, but the girl is widowed. No, I’m not suggesting being the shoulder to cry on… I’m just giving you a heads up because she has been through a lot. Natascha even wrote the book After you, about the tragedy. All that being said, Dan, Natascha is going to be one of the greatest accomplishments on this list because she seems to be the most down to earth of everyone mentioned, here.
7. Hannah Davis
Hannah Davis is smoking hot and a total icon. She painted the cover of the SI Swimsuit addition this year and continues to steal the love and lust of America. Hannah is recently engaged to the former Yankees’s short stop, Derek Jeter. So please, on behalf of the Red Sox, steal her from him. You know you got this. Besides the fact that she’s ridiculously sexy, she also grew up on the Virgin Islands. Beach babes are the best because they love to party and I know you do, too. We all need a fun girl in our lives and Hannah will do the trick.
6. Carter Cruise
Let’s get real: Carter Cruise is the sexy sorority girl who decided to become an adult star. What could be hotter than that? She grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, which means she has southern girl manners and charm… so be careful… you might actually fall in love for this one. Other than her career in the Adult film industry, she is an avid writer. This means that she may, in fact, be the love of your life and the woman to write the screen play for your movie. A talented lady in every aspect. Emphasis on the words “talented” and “every.”
5. Olivia Jordan
You know what’s more American than a bald eagle? Sleeping with Miss USA 2015. Not only is she so unbelievably hot that it’s frustrating, the girl acted in Hot Tub Time Machine 2, so the lady obviously has a good sense of humor. Okay, well that movie sucked, but it at least shows that she’s easy going because that production must have been crazy. I feel like you’re probably going to have to appear opinionated, smart and charming, though.
4. Sasha Grey
Dan, you’re going to love this girl. No really, she’s really something else and probably a little more age appropriate than some of the gals I’ve mentioned. If I can’t get enough of Sasha Grey, neither will you. She got out of the adult entertainment industry in 2011, after bringing the 90’s generation to puberty and has had a pretty awesome acting career. She’s serious about it, too, and that type of women is the best. Sasha is also flirting with the music industry and has a published erotic novel out called The Juliette Society. Is there anything this girl can’t do? Let me know, I’m eager to find out.
3. Emily DiDonato
I know I mentioned that all the girls I’m listing here can hold a conversation. Yet, I can’t actually prove that Emily DiDonato can do that, but I have a convincing reason for picking her for the list… she’s freaking hot. Well, first, get out your phone and add @emilydidonato1 to your Instagram. You’re welcome. How on earth can someone be so attractive? Other than her modeling career there isn’t much else to her, but that’s the thing, does she need anything else? I don’t even think she’d need to talk to have a conversation. Looks that good always have something to say. A girl like Emily is always going to be on a player’s mantle, which is okay because you deserve to gloat. Just look at her!
2. Carly Baker
She’s a personal trainer so she might actually be the only chick I’ve listed that is more fit than you are, Dan. I’d also have to say Carly Baker is also the most attractive girl I’ve put on here, so listen up. I just had a realization. All looks eventually go away with age. Carly’s beauty will last the longest. Yeah, yeah, she’s a talented model and has a ballin’ career or whatever, but the girl obviously is going to retain her hotness for years to come as a personal trainer since she’s at the gym all the time. That’s a huge deal in the long run. Yes, that’s a workout pun.
1. Jennifer Aniston
Get out the champagne and crown because we’re about to talk about Jennifer Aniston. She’s rich and that’s never changing. You know what’s also never changing? Her sexiness. Jennifer has some genetic ability to steamroll the aging process. The girl is forty six years old and looks like an absolute goddess. I know I just mentioned that Carly Baker is going to stay hot for a while, but Jennifer will probably die looking better than any SI model. Oh, did I mention that she’s rich? I did? I think I left out that she makes around twenty million a year from royalties because the hit TV show, Friends.