The Game of Thrones TV series has gone MAJOR since its initial airing in 2011. It is from the creative mind of George R. R. Martin and has gone on to sell astronomically, both in the form of books and with the variety of DVDs. Also, the merchandise is crazy good – seriously, have you seen the POP! Vinyl figures?!
There are sex scenes and there is fighting and brutality aplenty – and the series is now notorious for killing off its main characters and not caring for the poor viewers who have to watch it play out on screen. It would be easy to list the characters whose deaths have brought tears to the eyes of many a viewer, however, I want to discuss those characters whose deaths you actually pray for. Below is a list of my top 10 to be given the chop (sorry Theon, no pun intended, well maybe)…
10. Sansa Stark
Sansa Stark – the second child of Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell and his wife Catelyn Stark. She was married off to Joffrey Baratheon (more on him later) who beheaded her father while she watched and was an all-round bad guy. She was then married to Ramsay Bolton, another messed up individual, and one with a strange penchant for chopping off the most important male appendage.
No one can deny that she’s had it tough and she can count herself seriously unlucky in terms of her chosen husbands, but come on, show some wit, just actually DO something. She may be a Stark and she may be on the “good” side of the war but she is damn annoying. Whiney, soft, and with very little notable intelligence, surely Mr. Martin can come up with a colourful way of ending her storyline; can we get a petition?!
9. Robin Arryn
Robin Arryn – the only surviving child of Jon Arryn and Lysa Arryn of the House Tully. There is a lot to dislike about this young boy; most notably, his insistence on throwing anything out of the Moon Door, and crying when he doesn’t get what he wants. He is a spoiled brat of the highest calibre, so much so that he is STILL breastfeeding, I mean seriously, breastfeeding at his age, that’s just downright creepy.
I’m all for au naturele parenting, doing it as nature intended and all of that but I just can’t get away with this. All in all, the kid is foul and, if I had the chance, I’d kick him through the Moon Door, no regrets. Anyone who wants to throw Tyrion Lannister out of the Moon Door is getting no love from me.
8. Lysa Arryn
Lysa Arryn – mother of Robyn and wife of deceased Jon Arryn. If you think Robin is bad, his mother is worse. She’s a 10 year old girl in a 40(?) year old women’s body. Letting her child suckle on her at ten years old and allowing him to order people to their deaths is just bad parenting. I think she needs to be a better role model; buy your son a bottle and fill it with milk if need be. Hell, stick a teat on the top of the bottle if it makes him feel better!
Lysa Arryn is small-minded, petulant and unable to listen to sense. While a lot of the characters on this list are purposely evil, she is not – she doesn’t have the intelligence for it. Out of the Moon Door for her as well – before her son as an incentive for him to follow her!
7. Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister – Head of House Lannister and father to Jaime, Cersei and Tyrion. Tywin is the much-feared patriarch of the Lannister family, his wife is dead, killed by Tyrion when he was born and he has a real resentment towards him because of this – again, if you hate Tyrion then you aren’t high on my list of potential survivors.
Tywin may be the most intelligent person on this list and he uses this intelligence for his dastardly deeds, number one being his ability to demean the lordly Tyrion Lannister. Tywin is the master of the Game of Thrones and is always pulling strings, although he does have one redeeming feature; he “sh*ts gold”. This helps his cause, but not enough to save him from my death wish list.
6. Petyr Baelish AKA Littlefinger
Petyr Baelish aka Littlefinger – he’s a little… something, I’ll give him that. Littlefinger is a brothel owner and successful entrepreneur, dabbling in the dark arts of human trafficking and the sex trade, not a great guy all being told. He was in love with Catelyn Stark after growing up with her and has a chip on his shoulder because of this rejection.
His character features include being sneaky, being cowardly and being two-faced, not a great résumé that’s for sure! Littlefinger is a snake of a man and one who I would love to see as a victim of the sword, or axe, or any other suitably sharp (or not) weapon.
5. Stannis Baratheon
Stannis Baratheon – the middle child of Steffon and Cassana Baratheon and heir apparent to the throne of Westeros. Stannis is a character who, at the beginning, you actually want to see succeed. He has a sense of honour and hates Joffrey; preach! But, deep down, he’s a glory-chasing, child-murdering douche-bag. He has a loyal knight in Ser Davos Seaworth who he treats like dirt and a sweet, afflicted daughter who he burnt to death. Fair enough, these are on the orders of the Red Woman, Melisandre but still, who does that?!
Stannis makes it onto this list because, all-in-all, he deserves to be, because of his terrible decision making and the general abandonment of his principles. He has done enough to break into the top 5 and if it weren’t for the pure evil of other characters, he’d be in my top 3!
4. Melisandre AKA The Red Woman
Melisandre aka The Red Woman – this is a woman who gave birth to a murdering shadow, if that doesn’t make her eligible for the top 5 then I don’t know what does!
She is the whisperer in Stannis’ ear and the warmongering priestess of the Lord of Light. Melisandre pulls a lot of the strings and is responsible for more deaths than the plague.
3. Joffrey Baratheon
Joffrey Baratheon – oldest son of an incestuous “coming together” between Jaime Lannister and Cersei Lannister. Joffrey is actually one of my favourite characters, you just cannot stop yourself from hating him. Kudos to George R. R. Martin for creating him and just as honourable a mention to Jack Gleeson who nailed the character.
He has some notable low points during his reign, including beheading Eddard Stark in front of his daughter Sansa and using a crossbow to kill a handcuffed prostitute. Joffrey is a product of his ancestry; he is a psychopath and is altered by his incestuous make-up. An infamous favourite who really did deserve to die!
2. Cersei Lannister
Cersei Lannister – the mother of Joffrey Baratheon et al and incestuous queen mother. Cersei is on a whole different level when it comes to scheming and throwing snide comments. She is in love with her brother and has had three children with him. Cersei orders the death of innocent children and the death of her own husband.
Evil and beautiful, Cersei is the personification of manipulation and unnecessary cruelty. I loved it when karma found her and dealt her a healthy dose of her own medicine, also, Margaery Tyrell is perfect counter to Cersei’s evil ways!
1. Ramsay Bolton
Ramsay Bolton – the penis-removing torturer of Theon Greyjoy – who himself only just missed out on making this list. Ramsay Bolton is the epitome of evil. His psychopathic ways have ensured that he will go down in the annals of the most brutal TV characters to have “graced” the screen.
He reduced Theon to only a jabbering wreck (Reek) and sent his severed penis to his father in a box; what a b*stard – literally! Ramsay plays games with his victims and uses them for sport. He is one that truly deserves the title of #1 character I want to see die!