Ah yes, the college hookup. Is there a tradition more revered than this?
Why hasn’t there been a nature show about it? Imagine it now. The setting is a college student’s natural habitat: a house party. Standing with a red solo cup in his hands, the male looks up from a round of name-calling with his friends and spots the female from across the room. The female, adorned in her best clothing, locks eyes with the male. The two retreat to a bedroom at the house party for the rest of the night. After a few awkward humps, the pair leave each other’s presence, not to see each other again until “Bill’s next badass house party.”
A big part of choosing a college is not just for its degree programs, faculty, or employment prospects, but that sweet campus life. If a person is going to move away from home, usually for the first time, they would be crazy not to consider what their chances are of getting their naughty parts touched by another person.
For men, going to college has changed over the years. Although some schools still boast a high percentage of men, the face of college campuses is shifting dramatically. This certainly is not a bad thing, especially if you are a straight man, and especially if you know how to take advantage of your opportunities. Check out the 10 college towns where girls outnumber guys:
10. New York University – 56.7% Female
NYU is definitely a very expensive way to get some action at nearly $40,000 per year in tuition. There may in fact be cheaper, albeit more illegal ways of hooking up. But for those willing to pay the price of admission, there are opportunities galore. In the heart of New York City, NYU boasts a ratio that is in really good favor of men.
It’s also easy to take a woman out on a date in New York, too. There are an enormous amount of museums, shows, and attractions where a guy can keep all of his different dates totally entertained for weeks. Or at least until she kicks him to the curb.
9. James Madison University – 58.7% Female
James Madison was one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the National Basketball Association. Wait … internet research reveals that James Madison was actually a President of the United States way back in the day. This is a note to future students that the essay portion of the application should probably avoid all mentions of Madison’s mad skills with the rock.
For James Madison’s male student body, they have a good shot at getting close to the female student body – literally and figuratively. With nearly 59% of the female population roaming the campus, guys have a lot more options when they are trying to get some action.
8. Boston University – 60.2% Female
Doesn’t it seem like every single movie made about Boston includes nothing but guys. The Departed’s cast was 99% male. The Social Network actually had one guy, Armie Hammer, play two guys. Black Mass had only one real female character and it seems clear the director accidentally let her in. As an outsider, Boston seems like one, giant sausage fest.
This is of course unless someone is a student at Boston University. At BU, the girls there can beat a guy in an arm wrestling match, they know the entire starting rotation for the Red Sox, and can drink anyone under the table. Forget the hookup – put a ring on it!
7. Sarah Lawrence College – 75% Female
The obvious trend in this list so far is that schools on the East coast of the United States tend to have more women than men going to school there. The reasons are probably because schools out West like Stanford, Cal, and Arizona State focus heavily on male-dominated subjects like science and engineering.
For guys still interested in reading, writing, and philosophy, Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, New York, will provide more opportunities to score than LeBron James in an old man’s basketball league. So, while the guys out west are “going to school,” guys at Sarah Lawrence College can just straight “go to town.”
6. Baylor University – 3 Women For Every 2 Men
Waco, Texas, has not had the best reputation over the past 20 years. Back in the early 1990s, state and federal authorities raided the ranch looking for guns and other contraband, but ended up in a long standoff that lasted weeks. The weirdest part is that one of the people who came to Waco to witness the event was Timothy McVeigh. A local news station interviewed him about his thoughts. McVeigh was one of the Oklahoma City bombers.
But there’s an upside to Waco, especially if you’re a guy. At Baylor, there are three women for every two men, which may make the pain of living in Waco a tad bit easier. That does not seem like a lot, but think back to the last time it was just a buddy and three girls hanging out at someone’s house? Doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?
5. Wheelock College – 88% Female
Wheelock is just one of the many Northeastern schools to make it on this list. For those thinking of attending college, consider buying a warm coat, some boots, and get on out to Boston, Massachusetts, home of Wheelock College. This private, liberal arts college is just bursting at the seams with women. For guys, just about any room they walk into will just be flooded with women, ready to fight for their attention.
Well, that is extremely false. However, the sheer imbalance of men and women favors even the most slovenly, unkempt guy on the campus.
4. Nebraska Methodist College – 90.2% Female
The most famous image to come out of Nebraska is the University of Nebraska’s mascot. The mascot’s name is so appropriately called “Herbie Husker.” And yes, Herbie looks like a corn-fed farmer with 75-inch biceps and a gigantic white “N” on his giant, stupid red hat.
This image is pervasive in Nebraska so it’s probable that most guys would not even consider going to school in the state. But welcome to Nebraska Methodist College in Omaha. If a guy doesn’t mind going to church every week, he will be in business. Why? Well, because less than 10% of the student body is male. Now, when she says that she “would only hook up if you were the last guy on earth,” she may be able to eat her words.
3. Allen College – 91% Female
Allen College gets zero points for their boring name, but they get one billion points for their student body. What’s most cool about it is that there are only 379 students enrolled in the entire school. The student body is 91% female. So, after cramming those calculations into a NASA computer, the states show that there are only 34 other guys on the entire campus. Assume that at least 10% of those guys are not into women at all, that leaves about 30 guys that are eligible. Take away maybe 3 that are already married and now a guy has about 350 women and only 28 other guys to compete with. Like money in the bank.
2. LIM College – 91.8% Female
Technically called the Laboratory Institute of Merchandising, LIM college is all about fashion merchandising, marketing, and retail management. The school doesn’t focus on the kind of retail management that most people are used to though. Basically, the school doesn’t teach someone how to run the local mall’s H&M and boss around high school seniors. Rather, they teach people how to actually run H&M.
For a guy, if he is interested in learning how to be a titan of the clothing world, there’s nothing standing in his way of finding a future ex-wife. The college, based in Manhattan, has nearly 92% of its student body with the X-chromosome.
1. Wellesley College – 97.4% Female
At Wellesley, there is going to be a major give and take. On one hand, nearly 100% of the student body is female. This means that any guy who wants a date only has to throw out a wet towel and they well find one. Good luck getting any homework done.
On the other hand, Wellesley has some of the most famous, driven, successful women in the world as alumni. They include Diane Sawyer, Madeleine Albright, Hilary Clinton, and about 100 other women that wouldn’t give most guys the time of day. At Wellesley, a dude better step his game up.
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