Brangelina, 11-ish years, one of the greatest, most attractive power couples of history, died on September 19, 2016. The causes of death include a surprising number of things, such as possible child abuse allegations after Pitt “lunged” at their son (although the FBI is not likely to proceed any further), Pitt relieving himself on a tarmac, alcohol, Jolie’s ambitions with the UN, and well… Marion Cotillard. In other words, disorderly conduct and/or irreconcilable differences.
If you are not up to date on perhaps the most relevant pieces of news to tear our world apart in the past week, well, you should rethink your life choices. To continue, it is with great sadness that we acknowledge the recently departed power couple, Brangelina. Know that it is okay to shed a tear; who will we be able to look up to as an example of great love? Who will we flock over? We know what you are thinking; surely it cannot be the nice-but-kind-of-boring Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, although that is looking increasingly more likely… If you weren’t crying before, surely you are now.
While Pitt may not be able to have Angelina, there are a number of Hollywood women who would love to have a piece of Pitt. Perhaps the next power couple is right down below. Without further ado, here are 15 of Hollywood’s hottest women who, as we said, want a piece of Pitt.
15. Margot Robbie
Now, let us first say that we have absolutely no idea whether Margot Robbie, aka Harley Quinn, has any interest in Brad Pitt. In fact, she has actually been in a relationship with British director Tom Ackerley, since 2014. That said, Pitt and Robbie could be a great match if her current relationship were to ever fall apart. Interestingly, ever since her steamy scene in The Wolf of Wall Street, Robbie has even been hailed as “the new Angelina Jolie.” While she’s impossibly hot, she’s also younger and without baggage to add to Pitt’s drama fest. Her career is quickly exploding, so it wouldn’t be surprising if the two stars ended up working together at some point in the future. Not to get ahead of ourselves, but Pitt and Robbie easily have the potential to be Hollywood’s new power couple – as we’ve said, Robbie is quickly establishing herself as one of Hollywood’s new sex symbols and leading ladies.
14. Amber Heard
Alright, let’s be honest: we don’t know if Amber Heard is ready for love again and if she would at all be interested in Brad Pitt. That said, it is possible given that she seems to have a thing for Hollywood’s leading men, as she is now divorced from Johnny Depp in the spectacle that was their relationship (she now also has earned herself the title of being his sloppy seconds). In all fairness, Heard is also known for her roles in Pineapple Express and 2015’s The Danish Girl. But we digress.
In any case, Heard’s name has been thrown out as a potential rebound for Pitt. While some might say that there is too much drama between the two, both coming from messy divorces, some believe that the two would actually make an ideal coupling because they both went through similar life experiences and, therefore, would be able to comfort each other. Indeed, in a twist of events, it has been reported that Depp is now consoling Jolie. While we don’t know if Heard is looking to date anyone – and especially have another high-profile romance – it is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that the two could get together in the future.
13. Lupita Nyong’o
In 2014, it was revealed that Brad Pitt had a celebrity crush (spoiler: it was not his wife, Angelina Jolie). Indeed, Jolie was reportedly not amused with the revelation that the woman of Pitt’s fancy was Lupita Nyong’o. To recall, she was the Oscar-nominated star of 12 Years a Slave, a film that Pitt produced. Pitt talked very highly of her at the Producers Guild Awards, saying that “She’s very special, a very special young lady. We’re going to see great things from her.” When Leonardo DiCaprio went to kiss Nyong’O on the cheek, Pitt said, “Hey, man, stay away from my girl!” Sources also said that the two looked very much like a couple at the awards show. While we do not know exactly how Nyong’O feels about Pitt, it is safe to say that she would be very flattered and might even be curious about him, too….
12. Marion Cotillard
It had been speculated that the beautiful French actress Marion Cotillard, known for roles in Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, was responsible for the demise of Brangelina (originally, that is – that was before reports of child abuse surfaced regarding Brad Pitt). If you’re out of the loop, the media had been speculating for some time that Pitt and Cotillard were having an affair while on the set of the film Allied. This certainly wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility given Pitt’s past history with such matters – he met Jolie on set and he also has a long history of dating other co-stars before this as well. The rumours got so out of hand, however, that it was even speculated that Cotillard, who is in a relationship with another man, was carrying Pitt’s baby.
In response, Cotillard spoke out about the matter on Instagram, saying, “Firstly many years ago, I met the man of my life, father of our son and of the baby we are expecting. He is my love, my best friend, the only one that I need…” Couillard’s partner also spoke out about the matter, saying that “The fury of the tabloids, the venal stupidity of some people calling themselves journalists, the haters who feel braver behind a keyboard, drive me to speak of the pride, love, respect and admiration I have for Marion staying so strong and intelligent in the face of all these stupid and unfounded accusations.” That said, it is still possible there was something between Pitt and Cotillard. After all, the media had been right about the Brangelina divorce for months…
11. Jennifer Aniston
Perhaps you’ve seen the memes of Jennifer Aniston reacting, celebratory, to the Branglexit. But what does Aniston really think of the split? While the relationship between the two ended almost 11 years ago (and she is now married to actor and director, Justin Theroux), the media is still obsessed with getting her opinion on the matter – so much so that she reportedly even had to leave New York because she was being harassed so much. Photographed for the first time after the split, the media described Aniston’s reaction to the divorce as “startled.” While Aniston has remained silent on the topic, a source told Us that “She didn’t feel that Angelina was truly the one who Brad was meant to stay with. She always felt that Angelina was too complex for him. He’s a pretty simple guy.” Although things did not end well for Aniston and Pitt, and it is probably a stretch to think that Aniston would ever want to take Pitt to bed again, it is within the realm of possibility that she is at least wondering if her former flame is thinking about her now and perhaps even what life would have looked like if they stayed together.
10. Demi Moore
Demi Moore and Brad Pitt were rumoured to have had a fling back in the day, sometime in the late 90s. With the demise of Moore’s relationship with Ashton Kutcher in recent years, and witnessing him moving on and having children with Mila Kunis, it must not be an easy transition. The most recent updates regarding Moore are also not good; while she was once one of Hollywood’s leading ladies, she is now reported to be having a “mid-life crisis” due to her dwindling relevance and may have even gone to rehab over it. With Moore establishing herself as somewhat of a man-eater, dating Hollywood’s most eligible men, it would not be hard to believe that she might seek out Pitt to gain some relevancy again. Not that anyone would expect the relationship to be long-lived given the whopping total of divorces between the two of them. Indeed, the two would probably do best to simply avoid each other…
9. Lara Marsden, Brad’s On-Set Assistant
Naturally, Brad Pitt becomes romantically linked to just about every attractive co-star, the most recent one being Marion Cotillard. But not only is Pitt associated with his female co-stars, he is also associated with crew members (poor Angelina). While Pitt was filming World War Z in 2011, it was reported that an attractive staffer, Lara Marsden, was very into Pitt, and was even seen getting cozy with him. He appeared to be into the exchange and was repeatedly seen laughing with her. Reports later came out that Jolie was not impressed and even lashed out to the staffer, saying, “Stay away from Brad … or else!” While we don’t know what Marsden is up to today, we can be sure that life is looking a bit more hopeful now that Pitt is a single man.
8. Juliette Lewis
Juliette Lewis, known for roles such as 1993’s What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, 1994’s Natural Born Killers, 1996’s From Dusk Till Dawn and 2010’s Due Date, and Brad Pitt were an item back in the day. She was 17 years old at the time while Pitt was ten years older. While Lewis may have said that Pitt’s manhood was “no big deal”, it is possible that Lewis was feeling a bit bitter about the demise of their relationship. That said, Lewis has also had kinder things about Pitt and spoke fondly of their relationship. Lewis sad, “I was in my high-school years and it was a wonderful, loving relationship with a fun, smart guy.” Even as recently as 2014, Lewis shared a picture of the two of them together, wishing Pitt a happy belated birthday. Despite Lewis’ conflicting statements, we think it is more likely that even after all of these years, she is still pining over Pitt – especially now that she knows he’s single and ready to mingle.
7. Britney Spears
In an interview this June, Britney Spears revealed that her first celebrity crush was Brad Pitt. When asked to explain her reasoning, Spears said “Because he’s “f**** Brad Pitt.” Fair enough. She did also explain her first encounter with him, saying, “The most star-struck I was with was probably Brad Pitt. I saw him probably 10 years ago at the Teen Choice Awards. He had really long hair. I completely died. I ran! She continued, saying, “I was so uncool. It was probably one of my most uncool moments … But he is just so sexy.” That said, is it possible that her first celebrity crush still holds true today? On the contrary, Ms. Spears is not actually looking for love at the moment, saying, “My boys are my heart.” Certainly, with so much baggage between the two stars, it would be a rather unsuitable fit anyway…
6. Kendall Jenner
Earlier this year, Kendall Jenner revealed her choice of crush-worthy celebs via her app. Those men were Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp and, of course, a “young” Brad Pitt. Along with posting photos of her Hollywood crushes, Jenner said, “There’s something about the old-school vibe of these guys – they don’t make ’em like this anymore, haha!” Jenner has also been known to upload pictures of her crushes to Instagram as well. Seems innocent enough, right? It doesn’t seem like anything too serious is going on here. Indeed, Jenner did mention that she liked a “young” Brad Pitt. However, we have a feeling that if he grew out his hair, he might be able to take at least ten years off, at which point, Jenner’s innocent crush might turn into something more. That said, the couple would indeed be a highly unusual and unlikely pairing…
5. Jordin Sparks
It wasn’t that long ago (in 2014, in fact) that Jordin Sparks, former American Idol winner, announced her crush on Brad Pitt. To clarify, Sparks would have been nearly 25 or so years old at the time, giving a little more weight to her feelings then, let’s say, 20-year-old Kendall Jenner. In other words, we have to assume that her feelings should be taken a little bit more seriously. Indeed, she had been crushing on Pitt for almost ten years, which sounds like pretty serious stuff. She even recalled having wristbands with “Mrs. Pitt” written on them.
Sparks said that she would also be afraid to meet Brad Pitt because of Angelina Jolie, with Sparks saying, “I really don’t want Angelina to come get me because she can kick my butt.” Now that Jolie is nowhere in sight, Sparks could feel free to pursue her crush. While we don’t see these two having much in common, perhaps it’s time for Pitt to change things up because dating Hollywood’s leading actresses hasn’t worked out to his advantage.
4. Selena Gomez
Poor, innocent Selena Gomez is always in the middle of some type of boy drama and somehow she has even emerged as a key player in the Brangelina divorce, alongside Marion Cotillard. It all started when Gomez posted a picture of herself getting cozy next to Pitt at the after party of the Golden Globes this past year (again, Angelina Jolie was not impressed – we’re guessing you are seeing a trend here). In the past, Gomez has even professed her love to Pitt as well (Pitt has also told her that his children love her). It is clear that Gomez has a thing for Pitt, but will anything come of it? She’s young, cute and comes without a lot of baggage – she might be just the thing Pitt needs in his life.
3. Gwyneth Paltrow
Brad Pitt’s first high-profile, power couple type relationship was not Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie; it was actually Gwyneth Paltrow, who he dated from 1994-1997 and was also engaged to before Paltrow ended it. In recent years, however, Paltrow has spoken out about her former relationship with Pitt, saying he was too good for her, describing him as “gorgeous and sweet” but that she had been too young and wasn’t ready to get married. Paltrow said, “I was such a kid, I was 22 when we met. It’s taken me until 40 to get my head out of my a*s. You can’t make that decision when you’re 22 years old… I wasn’t ready, and he was too good for me.” It sounds like Paltrow feels like she missed out on something great and would consider exploring things again with her former beau, especially now that they are both single. Out of all of Pitt’s former flames, getting back together with Paltrow makes the most amount of sense… After all, she was the one who broke his heart.
2. Dax Shepard
First of all, we know what you are thinking. Dax Shepard of Hit and Run and Parenthood is not a woman. You are right. But his love for Brad Pitt is strong and true, which is why he deserves the second spot on this list. You understand, right? Shepard may be married to Kristen Bell in real life, but that isn’t stopping him from crushing on the hunky Pitt. Indeed, Bell has described her husband’s crush as an obsession, saying that “He just adores him.” It sounds to us that Shepard is pining to take Pitt to bed as soon as possible, obviously. On Ellen, Shepard even spoke about his man-crush, describing Pitt as someone who “keeps getting better.” However, as much as Shepard would love to hang out with Pitt, Shepard believes the chances, sadly, are low. But a man can dream. If Shepard could pull off the bromance, they might just show up Hollywood’s other famous pair, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
1. Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is a straight up beast. Therefore, Brad Pitt is obviously her next kill, possibly her biggest and burliest one to date. Indeed, the two would surely “break the Internet” if they were ever to give in to their animal instincts. Given that Swift has been able to pick through nearly all of Hollywood’s men, from movie stars to musicians to pop stars, Pitt’s time has come. Blood will be shed. He will be conquered. After all, she even has a song titled “Til Brad Pitt Comes Along,” so what more proof do you need? While Pitt usually dates actresses, there is obviously something very magnetic about Swift that has every man in Hollywood wanting to take her home. Therefore, let’s expect that Pitt will be lining up at Swift’s doorstep to do the same, even if the relationship is just as swift as all the others.