The Ginger is an elusive creature who lives in constant fear of the Great Big Sun. The very ball of fire that chases the red-haired-rebel round the Earth with evil intentions. The Sun is the seeker of the Ginger – the one who wishes to burn the fair-skin of the species and freckle it beyond repair. The Damaging Demon of the Sky.
According to myth: the Ginger is soulless – an existential being roaming around in an absurd world searching for some small glimmer of hope to hang onto until the biological clock runs out and the bittersweet moment of death arrives.
Where does the Ginger go when he/she dies? Heaven? Hell? Perpetual Purgatory? The one’s who live without a soul must die without purpose – damned to eternal nothingness while all the pretty blondes and brunettes dance with the angels and sip wine with Saint Peter.
Those of us who have not been blessed/cursed with a set of fiery locks must enjoy the time we spend with our Ginger friends. Get drunk and go out fighting with all your Irish buddies. Kiss each and every freckle of a ragtag red-haired lover. Get high on the couch and laugh at Conan O’Brien. Curse your Creator – for the afterlife will be void of any redhead you have ever loved.
Which is why we are here to embrace the beautiful fair-faces of some lovely redheaded women. There is not time for man. The male is too vicious and vile for compliments and courtesy – regardless of his hair color. Therefore, let’s take a look at some top-notch Ginger Gals.
These are the top 15 hottest female redheads:
15. Nicole Kidman
There is something incredibly annoying about Nicole Kidman that I can’t quite figure out. There is just something about this actress that makes a man want to let out an angry sigh or scream, but I digress.
Perhaps it has something to do with her husband, Keith Urban – as an avid fan of country music, I find Urban’s pretty-boy sound frustrating. While channel-surfing and coming across his face on American Idol, I can’t help but shutter. And maybe that’s where Nicole Kidman fits in: Annoyance by Association.
One of these days, I may figure out the problem but until then, I have no problem admitting that Nicole Kidman is a hot redheaded woman.
14. Kate Mara
Kate Mara is certainly doing all right for herself in the slimy scene of Hollywood. Mara has starred in the hit series House of Cards and is set to play Susan Storm/Invisible Woman in the upcoming Fantastic Four film – which should draw big numbers at the box office.
The foreseeable future seems bright for the 32-year-old actress who comes across the screen as not only sophisticated but sexy which trumps stupid and sluty any day of the week. While some men prefer the latter, intelligent men will always take the former.
13. Florence Welch
The redheaded rocker named Florence Welch serves as lead vocalist for the indie-rock group Florence + the Machine. The English-born singer has a voice that haunts and harms the soul in a way that many others in the modern music industry simply cannot accomplish.
Rock-and-Roll is dead but sometimes the rigor mortis loosens just enough to provide one last gasp and hope for life. Of course, Florence + the Machine will not resuscitate the geriatric genre but we can still enjoy the sounds that spew out of Welch in the process.
12. Ellie Kemper
Life is this big, meaningless, boring, waste of time and energy. The eternal optimists of this world need to reevaluate their delusion. Pessimism places nobody on a pedestal. I don’t have time for positive energy when my fridge is full of beer, my heart is feeling bitter, and I’m prepared to watch my favorite team lose again.
Which is why laughter is such an important part of this absurdity. Laughter provides brief moments of escape from the horrible realities we must face each day. Find a woman who can make you laugh and you’re glass-half-empty-lifestyle won’t seem half as bad.
There are bunch of beautiful and funny women out there but since we are focusing on redheads let’s place one at the forefront: Ellie Kemper – star of The Office and Bridesmaids – who is quirky and cute and a barrel of laughs.
11. Alyson Hannigan
Alyson Hannigan first rose to fame due to her involvement in the American Pie franchise. In recent years she played a starring role on the CBS hit comedy How I Meet Your Mother. Hannigan has a knack for playing the pseudo-sexual parts.
Which is why when a fake Alyson Hannigan sex tape began making the rounds you couldn’t help but check the thing out for yourself. Why? Not only to find out if its was really Alyson Hannigan but to compare the exploits of the tape with all those band camp stories.
10. Gillian Anderson
If the name Gillian Anderson doesn’t ring a bell than perhaps the name Dana Scully will? That’s right. Gillian Anderson played the role of everybody’s favorite Special Agent on the long-running program, The X-Files.
Gillian Anderson made the pant-suit look good while attempting to debunk cases of paranormal phenomenon and alien activity. With The X-Files set to return in early 2016, fans of the series are sure to be salivating at the thought of Anderson back in her traditional attire.
9. Lauren Ambrose
Six Feet Under was an HBO television series that dealt strongly with the concept of death while maintaining overtones of family drama and common issues. However, the presence of death was very apparent – which might have contributed to its success.
One of the stars of this dark series was a woman named Lauren Ambrose who played the character of Claire Fisher – a sometimes disheveled other times elegant looking redheaded beauty with a passion for art, need for rebellion, and hidden soft side.
Redheaded Rebellion at its finest.
8. Angie Everhart
When Miranda Kerr walks a runway, does anyone really care about which Victoria’s Secret item she is wearing? Did Kate Moss ever really sell anybody anything from Calvin Klein? The model means nothing. She is a mere figment of the male imagination and Angie Everhart is no exception.
Back in the ’90s, Angie Everhart became one of those Sports Illustrated swimsuit girls who men would ogle over whilst flipping through the pages and sitting on the John – daydreaming about women they can never have.
Angie Everhart – who also posed for Playboy – remains a hot and fiery redhead to this day despite occupational uselessness.
7. Nicola Roberts
Popstars: The Rivals was a British-based television talent show that – like most American-based talent shows – was a glorified singing contest among wannabe popstars. While she did not emerge the victor, Nicola Roberts – along with four other contestants – would be placed into a pop group known as Girls Aloud.
Nothing special to report about Girls Aloud. Typical pop group stuff. They “sing,” they dance, they maintain their gimmick. When Girls Aloud disbanded, Nicola Roberts would branch out on her own in hopes of solo success.
Nicola Roberts seems like a high-maintenance type – prone to complaints – but that doesn’t deter the top-notch hotness of this pale redheaded popstar.
6. Julianne Moore
Julianne Moore having sex on the desk with Mark Wahlberg in the movie Boogie Nights. Yeah, we all know that scene. The red hair, green eyes, light skin, shoulder freckles, and rapid gyrations all make for a steamy situation.
Julianne Moore is not only a talented actress but a vocal activist (sometimes a little too liberal) as well as a children’s author. With the mix of her good looks, Julianne Moore is the ideal woman – as long as you’re not a gun-totting, illiterate right-winger.
5. Lindsay Lohan
The story of Lindsay Lohan and her deranged affairs is a tale of much scrutiny, family dysfunction, sexual ambiguity, and excessive party-mode-mayhem. Lohan has been through the ringer but is alive to tell about the trip.
Lindsay Lohan may have fallen far from grace but she is definitely an interesting figure who would make for a great party guest. The times that could be had with the likes of Lindsay Lohan could easily become legendary.
Lohan grew up in the spotlight, which must be tough. Sometimes there is nowhere else to turn. Drugs and Drink become your only allies.
4. Amy Adams
Amy Adams is the kind of girl you can bring home to Mom. There is nothing particularly outrageous about Adams which I suppose is a good thing? Adams is a wife, a Mother, as well as a fine actress. Nobel Living.
Amy Adams is an electric babe – a humble kind of beautiful that men seek in dive bars far-and-wide – only to wake up the next morning more beast than beautiful. Perhaps barfly hags are the best some of us can do while others find the Amy Adams’s of the world.
3. Christina Hendricks
Mad Men was an AMC television series which centered around the exploits of executives in the 1960s. The show was immensely popular but I always find the youth movement of the ’60s to be more exciting than its misogynistic corporate counterpart.
Nevertheless, the show would help propel Christina Hendricks into the limelight – a gorgeous and voluptuous redheaded woman with curves everywhere they need to be and a pretty face to match. Hendricks is a knockout and a prime example of a woman who embraces her body.
2. Jessica Chastain
Jessica Chastain is an award-winning actress who undertook an emotionally-charged role in the film Zero Dark Thirty – a part that paid off well for the redheaded darling as her stock would rise significantly following her success with the film.
Jessica Chastain is a unique kind of beautiful with a smile that could light up the darkest alley – providing your mugger with better lighting in order to commit his crime. The double-edge sword of the beautiful woman.
1. Emma Stone
Emma Stone made her feature film debut in the teen comedy Superbad. This would kick-start a career that has been nothing short of spectacular and Stone is only 26 years old.
Acting talent aside: Emma Stone is naturally funny and filled with charisma – a hybrid of gorgeous and goofy.
Emma Stone should be the blueprint of what men and women seek in a partner – search for substance and avoid insecure idiocy.