Okay, do we even need to talk about who Dan Bilzerian is? Unless you’ve been living under a social media rock, you probably know exactly who The Blitz is and what kind of reputation he has. We’re not saying you need to like him or agree with his lifestyle, but even if you’re not sure of his name, you probably know “that guy with the crazy lifestyle who plays poker and is really rich.”
Yes, Dan Bilzerian. The man who made countless guys bust out Poker for Dummies. The man who encouraged them to grow out their beards. The man who let them feel like maybe, someday, they too could own a luxury sports car and be constantly surrounded by a sea of gorgeous women. He’s brash, in your face, and certainly not shy.
While Bilzerian frequently posts shots of his weapons, luxurious digs, private jet and more, there’s one subject that appears on his Instagram account with the most frequency – beautiful women. In solo shots, in groups, from the front, from behind, playful or just downright sexual, any pose you can imagine, he has some bombshell doing it on his Instagram account. His feed is absolutely filled with drop dead gorgeous women – often hanging all over him, because if you’re Dan Bilzerian, why not?
Now, it’s tough, but we tried to narrow down the 15 hottest girls amongst the countless ladies on his Instagram. You’re probably going to check out the rest, too. We don’t blame you.
15. Double Trouble
When you’re in a hotel and you’re Dan Bilzerian, you don’t just retire to your suite and spend the night under those crisp, white linens (that comes later, obviously) – you party! This shot captures two blonde bombshells all dolled up and ready for a night on the town – or, more likely, coming back in from a fun night and ready to continue the party.
Now, what’s the significance of the black dress and white dress? A little ying and yang? Dan, we never knew you were such an artist. We can only imagine what the valet thought when these two ladies rolled into the lobby.
14. Booze and Boats
Dan Bilzerian is not a man of many words – he seems to believe that pictures speak louder than any captions could, so he merely captioned this shot “booze and boats.” It’s basically exactly what it implies – Bilzerian, front, center and shirtless, on what looks to be a pretty impressive sized boat, surrounded by beautiful women.
There are two scantily clad babes in the background, but the real focus is on Miss Heart-Shaped Pasties up front. We’re not sure exactly who she is, but we’re kind of impressed by her yacht attire – and the over 7,000 people who liked this photo would probably agree.
13. Booze and Brunettes
There are times when we’re pretty sure Bilzerian is just showing off because he can. Case in point, this picture. He’s out on what appears to be a glass-encased deck or patio holding a bottle of booze. And, of course, there’s a gorgeous brunette straddling him – what, you think he’s hanging out alone? As if.
Honestly, we’re just surprised he didn’t caption this one “booze and brunettes.” Now the only question is, did he set this picture up and pose for whoever took it, or are there women straddling him so frequently that it just gets captured in half the shots that friends take of him?
12. Private Jet
Sometimes, we read the captions on Bilzerian’s photos and can’t help but laugh. In this shot, he appears to be boarding a private jet, but he’s totally like you, guys – he’s heading back to Los Angeles “after 3 wks in a Best Western #struggling actor.”
We’re just struggling to figure out how on earth he manages to get so many beautiful women to hang on his every move. The babe in this photo decided to forego the typical comfy female plane attire of leggings and a cozy sweater in favor of a skin-tight black dress and thigh highs. Well, duh – she’s riding with Bilzerian. You can’t just show up in sweats.
11. Sunday Funday
The Blitz captioned this photo “#sundayfunday,” and we’re pretty sure every guy in the world would agree. The shot depicts a bubble bath filled tub with a gorgeous panoramic view of the city, and, of course, two beautiful women.
One is positively modestly dressed by Bilzerian’s standards, while the other is showing off all her hard work at the gym in a teeny black bikini. The blonde bombshell by the window also appears to be trying to give someone out on the patio a show – maybe The Blitz is enjoying a drink before retiring to the tub for his Sunday activities.
Okay, this shot would not look at all out of place in any men’s magazine – she’s basically ready to be Maxim’s next cover girl. Bilzerian has captured this brunette mega-babe in super sexy black lingerie, peering into a telescope. Although, we’re pretty sure that more guys would be caught peeking at her – just look at her!
There seems to be several factors that go into most of Bilzerian’s successful Instagram photos, and this one has them all – a great view, lingerie, a hot girl, and some type of suggestive pose. Check, check, check and check!
9. Here, Kitty Kitty
This photo of a cute little kitten wearing some kind of shirt obviously got nearly 20,000 likes because people just love kittens, right? Well… it might also have something to do with the hot girl who is featured in the photo. We don’t get to see her face, but whatever she seems to be wearing – some type of robe – has opened to leave little to the imagination.
Bilzerian, in his classic style, has captioned the photo “Mountain Lion.” Because cats climb on mountains, and the woman has… well, you get the point. Don’t make us spell it out for you.
8. Sea World Surprise
This photo reeks of rich entitlement, and it’s really not surprising that, in addition to nearly 20,000 likes, it received a lot of negative comments. Why, exactly? Well, it seems one of Bilzerian’s buddies had a sea lion shipped into a pool from whatever its more natural habitat was.
However, for the purposes of this list, let’s just talk about the girl next to the sea lion. That’s basically what all guys wished mermaids looked like. I mean, really – who needs a clamshell bra when you can just wear sparkly pasties? Much more water friendly.
7. Room Service
When you’re Dan Bilzerian, you get to wake up to a great view basically every day – and we’re not just talking about the view from the window of the surrounding city. No, we’re talking about this fox that he apparently woke up at noon to discover in his bathroom.
Obviously, since its Dan Bilzerian’s feed, she’s not wearing her ratty gym shirt – she’s dolled up in black lace lingerie and socks, drawing attention to all her assets. Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, right? We’re pretty sure every guy would be a bigger fan of Mondays if this is how they rolled around.
6. Heart Shaped Box
See, Dan Bilzerian can be romantic – he arranged three hot girls to make a heart shape! So sweet. But actually, in a sea of blondes and brunettes, this red-headed fox stands out for all the right reasons. They are all, of course, on a boat – it’s just how he rolls. And in case you thought they were all just G-rated friends, Bilzerian is quick to clarify in the caption that he had sex at sea. Keeping it classy, as always.
The best part is you can see some women’s feet peeking out the bottom left corner, meaning there’s likely even more women on the boat ready to jump into the next shot.
5. Slippery When Wet
When you’re constantly around as many luxurious pools as Dan Bilzerian and his group of hot women are, even if you’re just lounging around poolside, it’s probably safest to learn how to swim. So, The Blitz took it upon himself to help out his girl – hey, sometimes even the hottest girls failed to ace their swimming lessons.
She pairs her teeny tiny blue bikini expertly with a pair of water wings, turning them more into a fashion accessory than a safety device. And, of course, Bilzerian provided both a front and back view – he’s looking out for you, guys.
4. Locked and Loaded
Dan Bilzerian is known for his skills with a gun, and in this shot he captures two of his passions – weaponry and drop dead gorgeous women. Clad in only knee high boots and miniscule black panties, the woman in this shot is all dolled up and looking insanely hot.
What’s she wearing on top? Two strategically placed handguns, obviously – and you know the minute the photo was taken, The Blitz probably swatted them away for a full frontal view. Plus, look at the red solo cup in his hand – literally every day is a party if you’re Dan Bilzerian.
3. Plane with a View
When you’re riding in style on a private jet, you don’t need to worry about inconveniencing other passengers – you can stretch out wherever you want to get the best view. However, in this shot, we have a feeling that the best view isn’t out the window – it’s from right where Bilzerian is sitting.
There’s not much this girl could hide in her tight jeans and form-fitting shirt, but we’re betting he probably gave her a good pat down before letting her on the plane. You know, for security measures. And he encouraged her to take a peek at the clouds to ensure she was getting the full up in the air experience. Obviously. It wasn’t for personal gain whatsoever.
2. Lucky Charms
For some guys, eating a bowl of cereal in your pajama bottoms might be a boring night in. For Dan Bilzerian? All you need to do is add three hot girls in lingerie or bathing suits and suddenly things are looking a lot more exciting.
According to the caption, he’s eating Lucky Charms, which we don’t need to say is a little bit hilarious. And… cue Lucky Charms selling out in grocery stores around the country as guys desperately eat bowl after bowl, hoping it will summon some babes. Sorry guys – we have a feeling The Blitz could have gotten these girls to stop by with or without the luck o’ the Irish.
1. Amfar Beauty
When you clean yourself up and go to a gala, you know you need a gorgeous woman on your arm. Bilzerian looks great in his suit, but the woman in the shot with him outshines even The Blitz.
Dressed up in an avant-garde white gown, Xenia Tchoumitcheva is an absolute show-stopper – just check out her own Instagram account for more of this Swiss-Italian model who describes herself as a “6 language speaking entrepreneur with an economics degree.” Hey, that means she’s probably a good conversationalist as well as easy on the eyes. It’s a win-win!