It’s fairly common knowledge that no two bodies are created equal. Uniqueness and individuality together create the beauty of our bodies. Some people will always find something wrong with their bodies or something that can be improved upon. But the fact of the matter is that all bodies are beautiful, and some of us aren’t destined to have the super thin, model-like body.
Today’s society has an obsession with our booties. For whatever reason, the media has deemed the derriere as sexy and something that needs to be grown and not shrunk. Fitness trainers are being asked on a daily basis to conduct exercises to grow our butts. Plastic surgeons are now being asked to do butt implants. Perhaps we have Kim Kardashian to thank for the fad?
Regardless of popularity, those who have not lived with a big butt actually don’t understand that there are problems that come along with the gift. You might say the grass is greener on the other side, but having a trendy butt comes with a price.
Some revel in it, while others consider it a cross to bear. The following list points out the ten biggest problems that come with having a big caboose.
10. Exercise Assumption
We’ll start with the basics. If you have a big butt, you’ll encounter two different kinds of assumptions depending on what your butt looks like. If you have a well toned derriere, you’ll get bothered with questions about what kind of exercises you do and asked to demonstrate your squatting technique that will make people wonder if you’re constipated.
If your butt is less-than-toned, people will assume that you don’t work out at all. Both of these assumptions aren’t fair, of course. But having a big butt seems to be a target on health and fitness and you’ll encounter one of these extremes.
9. Bull in a China Shop
Let us face it, and face it head on: when you have a big butt, you have extra space that you have to consolidate, especially when you’re moving. Walking in between tables? Forget it. You’ll take the table cloth and the silverware with you if you try to do that.
Your derriere will have the amazing power of knocking things off of tables. You may even whack a person or two with your large butt. It’s something that is both to be marveled at and also get irritated at. It’s like walking around with an extra limb poking out of your booty.
When you have a big butt, you’re also carrying around extra weight in your lower back. It changes the way you stand and the way you move. Depending on your posture, you will deal with back pain on a regular basis.
When you have a large posterior, it’s comparable to having two heavy items on your backside that make up your buns, and gravity is a cruel competitor in trying to keep all of it up and toned. Just like having a big belly and big boobs affect the muscles in your back, having something weighing down your backside can also cause a decent amount of pain.
7. Baby Got Back
When you have a big butt, people seem to automatically assume that Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” is your anthem. You can’t walk down the street without someone going, “Oh… my… God… Becky. Look at her butt!” and so on. It is both irritating and amusing at the same time. However, people with a big caboose really wish that the assumption would stop.
The actual truth? It really is one of your anthems and anytime that song comes on at a party or at the club, you can’t help but shake that big butt and declare it to be your theme song! Go ahead and admit it.
6. Getting Hit On
It seems that having a big butt also comes with a big target on your back, sort of like a neon Las Vegas-style sign that declares, “Hit on me! I’m available!” Or at least, that is what it feels like.
Having a big butt seems to also come with a package deal of getting hit on mercilessly at the club or bar. It seems that people assume that just because you have a big derriere, it means that you’re more available or desperate. In truth, if a person is hitting on someone just because of their butt, it’s the quickest way to get a rejection. There’s more to life than a big butt!
5. Dance Assumption
With big butts come big responsibilities, it seems. People will automatically assume that you can dance when you have a big butt. Well, that’s using the word “dance” pretty loosely.
In truth, people will assume that you can twerk that big booty of yours. Whether you can truly nail the sophisticated dance or you’re just simply shaking what your momma gave you, that’s a pretty unfair assumption.
It’s hard work to jiggle and shake that butt at the fast rate that some women can accomplish. It has become a big problem to live up to the expectation of others thanks to songs and music videos with dancers that make twerking look as easy as rolling out of bed.
4. Bar Stools
When you have a big butt, bar stools are public enemy number one. Not only does it make your butt seem even bigger when the sides of your cheeks are spilling over the bar stool, but it is also excruciatingly uncomfortable.
When your sides are spilling out, it also means that the edges of the bar stool are cutting into your thighs. It is the biggest buzz kill when you’re going out to the bar. So if you’re going out with a friend who has a big butt, be a good sport and get a table with a real chair or sit in a booth. Your friend’s posterior will thank you.
3. Skirts Are Shorter
Shopping for skirts with a big butt can lead to a massive headache. Whoever invented the skirt clearly didn’t have a hefty derriere. How can we tell? Well, your skirts end up being shorter in the back. Think about it! More material is needed to cover up a big butt, which takes up length in a skirt.
Girls with big butts can basically kiss short skirts goodbye unless they want certain bits poking out and saying hello. This also counts for tight dresses. Recently, there have been some friendlier dresses for bigger butts, but they are rare finds as of right now.
2. Endless Wedgies
Big butts seem to be hungry for underwear all the time. If you wear regular underwear, or even larger granny panties, you find yourself pulling fabric out from between the area where the sun doesn’t shine several times a day. It’s almost impossible to avoid wedgies when you’re carrying a badonkadonk; it needs to be fed its daily dose of Fruit of the Loom.
Not only are wedgies uncomfortable, they can be unsightly as well. Girls with big butts often find that thongs will grant some relief as the fabric is already placed in the appropriate place. This can be especially helpful if you’re working out or wearing tight pants.
1. Plumber’s Crack
Finally, one of the biggest problems that comes with having a big butt is the constant flashing of your butt cleavage. Jeans and skirts today aren’t tailored towards people with big butts, which means that there is fabric that is struggling to keep your booty covered up.
You can’t go with a bigger size bottom or your fashion look is sabotaged. So, those with big butts are forced to either wear a longer top, or try to find a way to be discreet when they need to bend over. Plumber’s butt isn’t attractive on anyone, and the last thing you want to deal with are jokes about how it’s too early for the moon to be shining!