Love and dating are both highly subjective things. We’ve all dated at some point, and have varying levels of experience with love. Sometimes it seems like finding the one for you is hopeless. But luckily there are billions of people in the world, and therefore billions of different personalities to choose from. But when you look at it that way, how will you ever be able to choose just one?
Dating is like a process of elimination for women. While dating, we figure out what we want. And what we don’t want. And what things are an absolute deal breaker. Those things that will immediately turn us off no matter what. We all have them, and sometimes it can seem like they’re just a part of who we are. It’s not like we made a conscious decision to be turned off by certain things, it just happened. And it really helps eliminate a good number of the possible soul mates that pass us by on a daily basis.
Most women have some idea of what they’re looking for in a man, like a great sense of humour, ambition, and a kind heart. Unfortunately, there are also a few universal deal breakers, where if they don’t abruptly end any chance a guy had on the spot, they will definitely raise a red flag in any woman’s mind.
12. He’s a smoker
Unless she’s a smoker herself, lighting up a cigarette in front of a woman is a huge turn off for her. Sure, James Dean and Marlon Brando made it look good, but in reality, smoking is a disgusting habit. It’s inconvenient, expensive, smelly, and it’s incredibly bad for you. Not to mention that smoking is scientifically proven to lower a man’s sperm count, which not many women consider to be a good thing.
11. He’s a terrible kisser
As unfair as it seems, there’s always a lot of pressure on the first kiss. It’s kind of like an audition for the next step– the make out. If he uses too much tongue, or not enough tongue, has bad breath, is all teeth, or generally seems like he’s trying to devour her entire face, that’s not a good sign. If he isn’t a good kisser, then what’s he going to be like in bed? Most likely, she won’t even stick around to find out.
10. He’s racist/sexist/misogynistic/homophobic
These days, being raised a certain way, or simply being ignorant are not acceptable excuses for using racial slurs, being homophobic, or relying too heavily on gender stereotypes. Women want to be considered equal to men, and that desire for equality extends to people of different races, and sexual orientation. Men who are open about their intolerant opinions, and have no idea how off-putting it is will have a hard time getting a second date, because chances are most women have a least one friend or even family member of a different race, or sexual orientation.
9. He takes longer to get ready than she does
Women are envious of men for their ability to take a 5 minute shower, throw on some clothes and be out the door. While girls certainly enjoy putting on makeup, doing their hair, and choosing the right outfit for every occasion, sometimes it would be nice to be able to fast forward the whole process. Women have learned to look as good as possible in the least amount of time, so when a guy comes around who takes even longer than her to get ready to leave the house, it’s kind of a turn off.
8. He’s a Mama’s boy
There’s a fine line between a guy who loves and respects his mother, and a guy who hasn’t grown up past the teenaged boy who needed his mom to do everything for him. If she still does any combination of the following for him, it’s a huge red flag– pay his cell phone bill, do his laundry, cook the majority of his meals, do his grocery shopping, or screen his dates. No independent woman is looking for a guy who just wants a wife to take over the position of “mother”, because she knows the woman who birthed him wouldn’t give up her duties without a fight.
7. He drinks too much
Drinking, and even some drugs, in moderation is nothing to worry about. But if a guy can’t seem to hold his liquor, or worse, doesn’t know his limit, that’s a problem. We all have those nights where we go a little overboard, but if he’s consistently drinking himself into a stupor, waking up, rinsing, and repeating, women are going to think he has a substance abuse problem, and if she can still get out without too much hassle, she will. Because marrying and having kids with an alcoholic is no woman’s vision of her ideal future.
6. He’s way shorter than you
Shallow? Maybe. But a tall guy is one of the most universal things women look for in a potential mate. For better or for worse, women are always worrying about their size, and it helps if they are guaranteed to always be smaller than their date. In a primitive survival of the fittest sense, tall guys are also bigger, stronger, and better able to protect her. Ever noticed how on Tinder, guys over 5’10 always put their height in their bio as if it’s some kind of accomplishment? That’s because they know it gives them points, and if they are over 6′ it could potentially get them more matches.
5. He’s rude
Being rude to complete strangers could include anything from extreme road rage, talking down to waitresses and bartenders, and also tipping badly or no good reason, and generally acting careless, inconsiderate, and oblivious to other people’s feelings. If he doesn’t even know to put his best foot forward at the beginning of a relationship with good manners, then he’ll never care about being polite, or even being decent to people, ever.
4. He snores
Sleeping compatibility is a thing that matters in a long term relationship, because we all need our sleep. No light sleeper is going to be able to make it work with a guy with sleep apnea who refuses to acknowledge he has a problem. All the soothing music, ear plugs, and sleeping pills in the world aren’t enough to drown out the sound of the grizzly bear with asthma sleeping next to her. If he thrashes around and talks gibberish too, the relationship just isn’t meant to be.
3. He’s cheap
Yes, it is 2015, and not all modern women expect men to pay for everything all the time. But that being said, it’s always nice when a guy will pay for a first date. It shows he’s really interested, and willing to do something nice for someone he likes. Most women have no problem paying for their half the majority of the time either, and they might even treat a guy they like sometimes. But if a guy “forgets” his wallet more often than not, and would rather grab a Taquito and Slurpee at 7-11 than go out for a real dinner, women are going to take notice.
2. He has no sense of humour
Either he’s way too serious, or his sense of humor just doesn’t match up with hers. He might make crude jokes, and laugh at someone tripping on the curb, but sarcasm, and irony go right over his head. The worst is when he can dish out the insults, but turns into an indignant child when someone teases him back a little bit. No one likes a sore loser, or a guy who can’t take a joke.
1. He’s too passive
It’s pure biology that women like strong, capable men. There are hundreds of different ways a man can make a woman feel safe, and they don’t have to have huge muscles, or be all alpha male to do it. If a guy will never make a first move, is too scared of rejection to show any interest, lets people walk all over him, or has no ambition or desire to fight for what he wants, he’s not going to make much of an impression on any woman.