Orgasms are the whole point of having sex, right? Well, maybe for men. Most women have come to accept that they aren’t going to make it to the finish line every single time, and while it’s not ideal, it’s the reality. It’s scientific fact that good sex for women is as much mental as it is physical, and sometimes it can be hard to focus on the task at hand. Even when men are doing everything they can to help, sometimes it still isn’t going to happen. So women have learned how to fake it.
Faking an orgasm isn’t an option for guys generally, but women have the benefit of no obvious tell tale signs that it happened or it didn’t. For some reason women sometimes decide it would be a lot easier to just pretend the guy they’re with is doing an amazing job than have to tell them it’s not working. It may not be helping anyone much, but they still do it, and they probably won’t be stopping any time soon.
Here are 10 possible reasons a woman might decide to fake the big O.
10. She just wants to be done already
Maybe she’s going to be late for a meeting. Or she has to get up really early in the morning. She might not be in the mood, or she’s thinking about too many other things, or she’s starting to get sore. Whatever it is, every woman knows if a guy is still trying after he’s already had his orgasm, he’s pretty invested in getting her to the finish line too. The quickest, easiest way to be done with sex is to fake that orgasm and call it a night.
9. She doesn’t want to bruise his ego
Some guys are sensitive about their skills in the bedroom. Either they’ve always been told they’re amazing whether they are or not, or they are lacking in the size department, and it can be a pretty big blow to the ego to realize his tricks aren’t exactly doing the trick. Rather than deal with his disappointment, she’ll fake it and let him continue believing he’s a stud. This is not to say she will always fake it, she just is just not willing to hurt you during this particular session.
8. She’s too shy to speak up
Maybe everything he’s doing is all wrong, but she has no idea what to tell him to do differently. Dirty talk isn’t really her thing, and maybe she’s kind of inexperienced and doesn’t know what works for her in the first place, let alone how to direct him. Either way, she’d rather keep her mouth shut and pretend whatever he’s doing is working than call attention to the fact that she doesn’t know what she’s doing any better than he does.
7. She wants to mimic adult films
There’s something about the loud, writhing, moaning orgasms of adult film stars that really get her going. She thinks that’s what guys want, so even though she’s never really had an orgasm that intense, she likes the dramatics of it. The very act of faking it sometimes helps her get to the point where she no longer needs to fake it, and there’s nothing wrong with that, right?
6. She faked it the first time
Maybe she didn’t expect to be having sex with this particular guy again, and figured, oh well, I’ll just cut my losses and fake it. But here she is, naked in bed with him again, and he’s doing the same things that didn’t work the first time, because he thought they worked like a charm. Now, her choices are fake it again, or admit she faked it the first time. The decision is going to come down to how much she likes the guy, and if she sees this happening again, and again, and again.
5. He put in a good effort
It’s not that he didn’t give it his all. He paid attention to her, put in the time, and genuinely seemed to enjoy it too. It’s not that he’s bad either, it just sometimes isn’t going to work, no matter how much they both want it. She doesn’t want to discourage him from being so enthusiastic and attentive next time, so she fakes it just to give him the reward he wants for all his hard work.
4. She wants to make him happy
For some guys, making a woman orgasm is the ultimate turn on. There’s nothing that gets them going more than giving her pleasure, and if she just isn’t feeling it, it’s really going to kill the mood. Since she cares about him and his feelings, she might decide faking it is better than disappointing him. That proud look on his face after he accomplishes his goal is almost just as good as an actual orgasm. Almost.
3. She’s just not in the mood
Women need a lot more time to warm up to possible orgasm territory than men do. If she’s too busy stressing over work, too tired, or paranoid about getting caught (orgasms during a quickie are especially unlikely), she’s not going to be able to get to the finish line. A combination of not wanting to disappoint him while simultaneous wanting to be done with sex for the time being can lead to a faked orgasm.
2. It’s just taking too long
If he’s really going for it, and is unwilling to stop until she has an orgasm, but she’s getting tired, and frankly, bored of having sex at this point, she might fake it. She doesn’t want him to think all that time and effort was wasted, and she definitely doesn’t want him to be afraid to try again next time because it seems like it’s probably going to take a full day to happen. Women can sometimes feel guilty for making a guy try too hard, which they shouldn’t, but it still happens.
1. He’s not open to constructive criticism
If he’s the type that’s easily offended, or will take any constructive criticism of his skills extremely personally, most women will want to avoid that. Especially if she doesn’t know the guy that well, and doesn’t think she’ll ever see him again, faking it seems like the much simpler, and drama-free option. He may never realize his skills aren’t what he thinks they are, and never get any better, but why should she care?