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Denny’s New Mascot Looks Like Crap

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Denny’s New Mascot Looks Like Crap

Via Marketing Land


American breakfast giant Denny’s has a new mascot, and we’re all wondering exactly who thought this particular design would be a good idea.

The new mascot is a mottled brown, slightly textured, and tubular in shape. If that sounds a little like what you may have passed this morning, then you’re not far off.

There’s a rather unfortunate resemblance to South Park’s Mr. Hanky character, only with a fedora instead of a Santa hat. We guess this turd is supposed to represent the American everyman? If so, Denny’s has a pretty terrible view of America.

Things get worse when you go to the Denny’s website and see just what they were trying to go for. They’ve created an ensemble cast of anthropomorphic breakfast foods that, while not as distinctly turd-like as the sausage, still seem generally terrifying.We know we’d like to start my day with a hefty dose of terror.

The Grand Slams

via thegrandslams.com

Also of note, while I’m sure those glasses in the pancake’s disturbing hands are supposed to be maple syrup, they sure do look a lot like beer steins. Top it off with the trucker cap and I guess the pancake is supposed to represent a redneck alcoholic since he’s having a beer for breakfast. This just keeps getting better and better.

RELATED: THE WORST MASCOTS OF ALL TIME

Pancake

via thegrandslams.com

Don’t believe us? Well, maybe you should check out one of Denny’s many informative gifs on the matter. If this doesn’t look like a pancake that’s blackout drunk, then I don’t know what is.

pancake drunk

via thegrandslams.com

But back to the sausage mascot, We’re pretty sure Denny’s is aware of its turd-like appearance. In one inexplicable gif on Denny’s website, he can be seen shouting his desire for corn.

Needs more corn

via thegrandslams.com

Now, why would a sausage need corn you ask? Fiber, of course. Everybody’s gotta stay regular.

Here are a few more gems just to keep you in the mood.

RELATED: TERRIFYING MASCOTS YOU CAN’T UNSEE 

Karate Chop

via thegrandslams.com

Hair

via thegrandslams.com

We’re really not sure if this is marketing suicide or marketing genius. The line between the two seems so blurred nowadays.

Want more of this utter madness? Check out the Denny’s Tumblr, because of course, they have a Tumblr.

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