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Raise your hand if you like going to the doctor, or having a probe stuck up your butt. Granted, we're not in a classroom nor can I see any of you in front of your computer or smart phone but I'm pretty sure no one would have raised their hand anyway.
When it comes to men, there are a handful of medical procedures that they'd pay a lot of money to never experience in their lifetime. This also includes some of the things women have to go through as well. Let's discuss some of them. Warning: Things may get a little gross.
1) Male Breast Reduction
Man boobies are typically caused by fat, which means the solution is simply losing weight. However, sometimes it's hereditary no matter how much a guy works out. Solution: Spend around $3,000 to get them surgically removed. Or, you can look like Jack Nicholson.
Or, Steven Tyler.
I'd start saving up if I were you.
2) Vasectomy: A Permanent Method of Birth Control.
You won't have to worry about any accidental pregnancies but make sure you've thought things through before deciding to go this route. Unlike breast implants, you won't be able to reverse this decision.
3) Hair Implants
I don't know any guy who enjoys going bald. Some will go to great lengths to keep hair on top of their head, such as getting hair implants which requires a surgeon to remove a strip of hair from the very back of a man’s head. Then, the doctor must relocate each strand to the front where balding occurs. What if there's no hair back there? Then prepare to have your body plucked all over. Although this isn't the most painful procedure, it definitely doesn't help a dude's ego.
4) Colonoscopy
Even the word sounds painful. Typically men and women over the age of 40 have to deal with this awkward examination. A colonoscopy involves taking a complete look at your colon, or large intestine, by putting a tube up your butt.
5) When A Woman Has A C-Section
This is no joke, and men know that. When your girlfriend, wife or Boo Thang undergoes a C-Section, her entire abdomen is split open to get little Tommy or Susie out safely. And, 9 times out of 10 you won't be able to stay in the waiting room unless you want a guilt trip until the day you die. To make things easier on your gag reflex fellas, do not--I repeat--do not look over the curtain.
6) Hemorrhoid Removal
Some dudes have ingrown hairs and others have issues with their booty. Hemorrhoids are swollen and inflamed veins in your anus and lower rectum. When they get really bad you can decide to have surgery to get them removed. The doctor uses a special stapler, which sounds like fun (sarcasm).
7) Vaginectomy
I don't think any man wants to hear that his girl is about to have her vagina removed, which is what goes down when a woman has a vaginectomy. What else would magically disappear? Your sex life.
8) Adult Male Circumcision
Definition: A procedure where the foreskin of the penis is removed in males 19-years-old and above. Typically, having a Sexually Transmitted Disease, cancer, or bad skin infection can lead to having this done. You definitely want to have the doctor put you under anesthesia as they cut away.
9) Urinary Catheter Insertion
That's how most guys react when they hear the word, catheter. It's not typically painful but extremely awkward. If a dude is having bladder or kidney issues more than likely he'll get very used to having a catheter inserted.
10) Penectomy: The Surgical Removal of A Penis.
Unfortunately, this is actually something hundreds of men may have to consider going through a year if they get penile cancer. Cases are rare and sometimes treatment isn't effective, which usually means one thing: Say good-bye to your little friend.
I can't even fathom doctors that have to make a living off this practice. Unless we're in Westeros, the Game Of Thrones Universe, and this man does the deed:
